Glare at the person seated at the table next to you, and see what happens.
Once you see what is written, it will distrb your siight, and sydlexia willl hunat yruo fvorevrfe.
There might be Blotter Acid on this fortune, but if you eat it and there isn’t, you will look like a fool.
You ate here knowing that Chinese food gives you acid reflux. You will be up all night.
You are currently tripping on acid, and are hallucinating this fortune.
A long journey to the hospital often begins with a small trip.
-“BB”-
The LSD will kick in in about 3 minutes. Please smile for the cameras.
There is no MSG in the food – it’s in the sweet tea.
There is no spoon; there is no food either.
You will meet a tall, dark handsome spoon.
You will lean down to stroke a handsome cat, who will unceremoniously ralph on your shoe.
Your firstborn child will be named Ralph! Oh, yes she will be!
Where there’s a will, there’s a poisoned fortune cookie.
Don’t look now, but Will Wheaton is seated at a table behind you.
Behind you is your past. Ahead of you is your future. Next to you is your bill. Pay it now.
You discredited a friend. They know it. You know it. Friends know it. Make amends this week.
A generous tip can make amends for being snippy with the waitstaff.
Rich is the man who is generous with joy
Never rent a house from a man that makes his own bullets.
Ignore this fortune. Stick with astrology, the true science.