Any of you people take it in the...

In My Humble Opinion
41

Probably the same thing he thinks about when ‘ramming’ anywhere (boobs, hands, vulvae, etc): “I wish there was a way to make this last forever…WHOOOPS!” Believe me with all that WARMTH anatomy is not foremost in anybody’s mind.

Thank you for giving your friend the benefit of the doubt, I got a great laugh out of that. Note to self: when begging wife for the umpteenth time for some hiney action be sure to include the “…for your benefit, not mine” spin.

Back in my bachelor years I’ve begged&been begged for butt (giving only: I’ve only received the occasional finger) and my current SO (wife of many years) is not into it at all. You roll the dice… It only bothers me for a few seconds every single morning of my life (that hazy, woody, pre alarm zone) and fortunately on many other counts intra anal ejaculation is not a deal breaker (sure would be NICE, and I guarantee she’d never wash another dish :slight_smile: )

42

So it seems that some of you enjoy this, some of you don’t and some of you (make that us) can only dream of it.

For those of you ladies who don’t (sorry fellas, this one is just for the women. I do appreciate and was originally looking for input (no pun intended) from both men and women, but this time the question is just for the ladies) do this sort of thing, why not?

It seems rather silly to be afraid of something like this. If I remember correctly, the first few times you have vaginal intercourse, it is pretty painful, right? But as you do it some more and become more comfortable with it, the more you come to enjoy it. Why is this type of sex so different for you women? Why is this off-limits for so many of you?

I don’t mean to be rude, and I am not trying to be a jerk, it’s just that it doesn’t make sense to me. Seems if the mind is willing, the body will follow.

Maybe this is the true reflection of your willingness to engage in sexual intercourse. Maybe not.

Thanks again,

Heembo

43

Heembo, I really like ya. And you’re generally a nice guy. So after this post is done, remember that I like you… I like everyone and also, I can only speak for me (and I think I’m the only girl on this thread who doesn’t like anal, if I remember correctly)

Oh, and I’m also crabby today.

[QUOTE
It seems rather silly to be afraid of something like this.[/QUOTE]

yeah. It’s silly to be afraid of tornadoes like I am…but I’m still scared of them. There’s nothing I can do about it. I’ve already said I think it’s a crazy fear. What do you want me to do? Let some guy just ram me silly to get over the fear? Hold me down and break me into it like an animal? Close your eyes and think of England while I do you up the ass…because that’s what I want?

Not for me. I was aroused, well lubricated, and it was very nice and orgasmic.

HUH??? The ‘maybe not’ disclaimer ain’t doin’ it for me. I venture to say (and correct me if I’m wrong) that you believe the first sentence more.

How dare you suggest that just because a woman won’t give up every orifice of her body to you that she isn’t really ‘willing’ to have sex with you? Please! Why won’t you let me pour scalding hot wax on your balls and have my dog chew it off? Maybe because you’re just not into it, regardless of how much I love you and how much it would turn ME on.

I love having sex, and I think someday I’ll probably have anal sex, but until I do, it’s nice to know that in your eyes i’m being silly and ‘unwilling’. It’s even better to know that my husband feels different.

jarbaby

44

I know you just asked the ladies, but I would suggest YOU try taking something up YOUR ass and then see if you can reformulate this question.

45

[gasping for breath]

THAT is the funniest sarcastic remark I’ve heard in weeks!!!

:eek:[turning blue from lack of oxygen]:eek:

STOP IT PLEASE…

[Giant intake of air]
Phew - I was seeing spots for a minute there, jarbabyj.

46

[quote]
heembo made the following presumption:
If I remember correctly, the first few times you have vaginal intercourse, it is pretty painful, right? But as you do it some more and become more comfortable with it, the more you come to enjoy it. Why is this type of sex so different for you women?**

If you’re not a woman, I guarantee you’re not remembering correctly, since you don’t have a vagina. If
you’re female, it shouldn’t be that difficult to recall.

My first time being penetrated vaginally didn’t hurt at all. It felt fantastic. I enjoyed the hell out of myself. Sorry for not having shuddered and bled and had an awful time of it.

My first time being penetrated anally took a lot of careful preparation and deliberate relaxation, and even then there was pain. I’m at the point where I enjoy it now, but that was wholly my choice; no one talked me into it. I’ve always enjoyed the sensation of being penetrated anally, and I wanted to go to the next level, as 'twere. A lot of women don’t particularly care for it, and it’s insulting of you to insinuate that it is a flaw in THEM.

The tone of your patest post suggests that you are trying to talk someone into this, and using us to give you ways to buttress your arguments. Coming from a woman who enjoys anal sex, it would be reprehensible of you to do this. I sincerely hope that I’m wrong.

47

Okay, so far as comparing the pain goes, we’re talking two completely different kinds.

True, some women do experience some pain during their first vaginal penetration but most often it isn’t unbearable. Granted, there are women who did find it very painful but most I have talked to considered it mild pain.

Now, being penetrated anally is a different story. Without proper preparation, there can be tearing and that hurts. Also, depending on the girth of the penetrating member, there can be a very, very painful cramping sensation.

It also takes a little longer to adjust to the pain during anal penetration–the process of entering can take several minutes as you allow for the muscles to relax before proceeding.

In short, you really can’t draw a parallel between the two experiences. As for someone being afraid, it has absolutely nothing to do with the “true reflection” of someone’s “willingness to engage in sexual intercourse.” More likely, people are just not overly keen on deliberately experiencing something they pretty much know will be painful.

I am a very sexual person and rather open about my sexuality. The first time I engaged in anal sex, I really wanted to. I was very turned on, I was ready and there were many careful preparations. Know what? It still hurt.

Not a lot of people just want to jump in and try something that they may or may not find pleasurable but that they will surely recieve pain from. People are funny that way.

48

Is that an offer, matt? If so, I accept. I will queue up Esprix behind me.

49

If I may hijack, how about rimming? It’s popular among gay men and something I enjoy both giving and receiving (freshly showered, only). Do heteros do that, too?

For the uninitiated, rimming is licking your partner’s anus.

50

Yes.

I have been told that I could rim for England.

51

HUH??? The ‘maybe not’ disclaimer ain’t doin’ it for me. I venture to say (and correct me if I’m wrong) that you believe the first sentence more.

How dare you suggest that just because a woman won’t give up every orifice of her body to you that she isn’t really ‘willing’ to have sex with you? Please! Why won’t you let me pour scalding hot wax on your balls and have my dog chew it off? Maybe because you’re just not into it, regardless of how much I love you and how much it would turn ME on.

Jarbaby,

Don’t take this the wrong way, cause I enjoy your posts and think you are an interesting person who seems to have a lot going for them.

What would you like me to do? Be so PC that I never ask the questions that run through my head so I can learn something new? I never presumed I was correct in my assertion. I was looking for opinions on this subject, as it has perplexed me for some time. If I am to understand your tone, I should censure myself from asking questions that might offend you or other members of the board. I am sorry, but screw the PC mumbo-jumbo. The only way to learn is to have frank and open discussions. A less resentful response would have been a little more effective.

That was pretty funny about the wax and the dogs, jar. You crack me up.

I know you just asked the ladies, but I would suggest YOU try taking something up YOUR ass and then see if you can reformulate this question.

matt_mcl,

I have no problem with this. I would never ask anyone to do something I wasn’t willing to do myself.

The tone of your patest post suggests that you are trying to talk someone into this, and using us to give you ways to buttress your arguments. Coming from a woman who enjoys anal sex, it would be reprehensible of you to do this. I sincerely hope that I’m wrong.

Yes, you are wrong. Though it is something I do want to do, I am not into making people do ANYTHING against their will. That’s why I am not a salesman.
evilbeth,

Thank you very much for actually answering my question. I now understand that the pain is different, and that the pain associated with anal is much more intense.

If I may hijack, how about rimming? It’s popular among gay men and something I enjoy both giving and receiving (freshly showered, only). Do heteros do that, too?

goboy,

Yes I enjoy it very much.

Thanks to everyone for answering my questions. I honestly didn’t mean to offend anyone. I am just tired of not being able to ask a question because it might offend someone. If I don’t ask the damn questions, I will never learn anything.

Heembo

52

Not at all. Ask whatever you want, but when you venture to say that because a woman won’t let you do her up the ass that she isn’t really willing to have sex, don’t be suprised to hear a dissenting opinion. I’m in the minority on this subject…that’s clear.

I would suggest this: Don’t say that to a woman you’re in love with, though. Ask whatever you want on a message board, but when a woman turns you down for anal, don’t tell her it’s a silly thing to be scared of.

This is an issue that I deal with a LOT in my own head. Because I am a sexual being and I DO love to have sex. I DO love to try new things. I would like to be a woman who is into anal sex because I’m sure my husband would like that.

At this point I am not.

Your post confirmed (at least partially) that I am a freak.

Thank you.

jarbaby

53

Well, at least now you know you’re in a minority of two, at least. I can’t stand it. My husband is rather enthusiastic about it, but I hate it.

It’s not that it is horribly painful, as I am relaxed. The problem is, sometimes there is cramping in the smooth muscles, which I cannot control. Sorry, but bowel cramps aren’t sexy. Second, even if there is no cramping, it feels like I am taking a shit, nothing more.

My husband is not an asshole about it (no pun intended), but he really likes it and sometimes I allow it so he doesn’t get all frustrated. I want to clarify that he doesn’t pressure me or browbeat me, nor does he complain or drop hints or do anything like that, and he always makes sure that I am fulfilled sexually.

Jarbaby, I also resent the implication that we are somehow “broken.” My nerves just aren’t wired for pleasure in that area! That’s all! It’s not mental!

54

jarbaby, you slay me…

I’ve never done it, but I would LOVE to do it with someone, actually, I did get it in once, but as soon as the head entered her, she said forget it. SIGH
I want to do it so bad (give, not take). Maybe someday…

55

Your post confirmed (at least partially) that I am a freak.

Thank you.

jarbaby

Give me a break, jarbaby.

56

Oh, GEEZ! I hope to put THAT out of my mind next time!

Seriously, women who don’t want to do that for WHATEVER reason are NO less sexual that anyone else. Submission to the point of overriding one’s personal desires ain’t for me. Some folks like that. I’m not one. Sex is a willing, enjoyable, exercise, both folks get whoopee, nobody gets hurt, and both feel good afterwards. At least that is how I remember it, it’s been a while…

57

jarbaby: You are not a freak, and I’m really sorry that heembo seems to think your anxieties are laughable.

Are you saying yer in the minority re: anal sex or re: heembo’s opinions? 'Cos my guess is that you’re wrong on both accounts. This thread is hardly a good sample of what folx think of anal sex, since people who are at the very least interested in it are more likely to open and post to it. Secondly, while it is something I enjoy, it’s something I only acquiesced to recently. Even today, I’d be more than miffed to hear that my unwillingness to engage in a single sex act was a “true reflection of [my] willingness to engage in sexual intercourse.” Pft.

heembo: No one is telling you to keep your questions to yourself. I really think you coulda gotten away with “Vaginal sex, as I understand it, is pretty painful the first time–maybe even the first few times. How is anal sex different, for you non-anal folx?” But your theory equating unwillingness to do anal with a “hidden” unwillingness to have vaginal sex ruffled feathers. 'Cos folx are sexually experimentive and don’t like to be stomped on. Or to be told that they don’t like sex just because one thing is off-limits. Quite honestly, I was shocked at your suggestion. Seems much more likely that there’s an ick-factor at play with folx who aren’t interested in anal (giving or receiving).

goboy: My thighs twitch at just hearing the word. I’m an unfair kitten, as I’ve never given, but ooooh how I love the sensation of receiving. I can’t believe that I like it, in fact. But oooooooh…

[sup]Must stop typing now…[/sup]

58

I was pretty sure I was in the minority of regarding the practice of anal sex. At least in this thread…not in the world in general.

And I want to emphasize that I’m not averse to it. I think it’s sexy in theory and to think about it and read and watch and fantasize is fine…but for some reason…I (for lack of a better term) lock up when it’s actually presented.

Madam…your erect penis is ready…

I dig rimming the most. It makes me all tingly to think about it. I must be ovulating or something today…I’m all hypersensitive.

Oh and heembo…I told you at the beginning that I like ya. I still do. You don’t need any breaks from me.

jarbaby

59

Well, jar, yer in a minority of three now. I’ve done it once. Was NOT pleasant, and has kinda turned me off to the whole idea. And believe me…I’m no prude. I love and enjoy sex a LOT, just it will take a LONG time and a LOT of trust before I ever try anal again.

So now there’s three of us. Woo. :slight_smile:

60

But your theory equating unwillingness to do anal with a “hidden” unwillingness to have vaginal sex ruffled feathers. 'Cos folx are sexually experimentive and don’t like to be stomped on. Or to be told that they don’t like sex just because one thing is off-limits. Quite honestly, I was shocked at your suggestion. Seems much more likely that there’s an ick-factor at play with folx who aren’t interested in anal (giving or receiving).

OK, Let me make this clear for those of you who may have missed something:

I am not “equating unwillingness to do anal with a ‘hidden’ unwillingness to have vaginal sex.” I apologized for hurting anyone’s feeling before, and I will do it again. It was a thought that crossed my mind, and it appears it should have remained there. I suppose I should run all of my thoughts through the “Sensitive Women of the Straight Dope Message Board Thought Approval Committee” before posting anything in the future. Looks like this is another area in life where I have fucked up by speaking my mind (and, for those of you who don’t already know this, I am NOT perfect).

I also don’t think anyone’s feelings are laughable. What I was saying, in effect, was that I found it hard to believe that someone as intelligent as Jarbaby (based on what I have read from her on this board) could think the responses to this thread were representative enough of the female population to warrant her deduction that she was a minority and a freak.

I am sorry if I hurt anyone’s feelings, and I really will try to be more sensitive when posting in the future.

Someone let me know when I am going to be let out of the corner and allowed to play in the sandbox again…

Later,

Heembo