This is a hilarious and apt metaphor.
Welcome back, Shirley.
Suuuuure Shirley pops up and it’s all flowers and sausages but no one notices me! 
Shirley!
I haven’t missed you, Shirley, because that would imply that I’d been shooting at you, and I don’t shoot at persons I like. But I am glad you have returned.
NOt sure why I decided to peek my head back in, just as the holidays rear their head. I must be mental.
It’s great to see all of you. You all look great. Did you lose weight or something?
I don’t remember any special posts or posting habits of yours, but I always liked your handle. I remember that.
I did read an old post with you in it, and wondered where you’d gone.
Also, this is the first time someone has asked if people remembered them and I did.
I didn’t know you had gone- but I had left for close to two years myself (with odd drop ins).
I missed you, even though we kept in touch the boards needed some Ujest.
You look somewhat familiar…ok, yes, familiar. But I’ve been mostly gone for the past decade or so, with the occasional drop in.
Hey there, big fella!
How’s that? 
Well, those guys all do look fairly skinny.
Shirley! :tacklehug:
I distinctly remember you giving me grief about wearing lederhosen, and to your surprise, I said such a picture of me exists. Then you disappeared.
Well, I have picture proof in my possession, and I’m waiting to show it to you. The formal portrait is 101% SFW.