Well, that’s not quite what I said. I said that people often find such pairings odd. Of course, that reflects the expecations of society, rather than any intrinsic oddness.
Let’s face it. In the eyes of many, Asian female = exotic, but Asian male = undesirable. I’ve known several Asian women who aren’t particularly attractive to their countrymen, but are drooled over by white men. In fact, my Asian friends don’t seem to think that Lucy Liu is all that attractive, and yet a lot of white males think she’s delicious. Go fig.
JThunder, I was pulling your leg a little. I know you meant odd as in uncommon rather than strange. Sorry!
But this is all relative. When we lived in Perth, I saw many more WW/AM couples than the other way around. And here in Matsuyama, I know plenty of WW who are looking for a Japanese boyfriend.
Of course, this is because of the company I keep. I know some WM/AW couples, but their daily lives are so different to mine that we rarely have a chance to get together. Plus we have little in common.
Plus I’m going on the experiences I’ve had in Western Australia and Matsuyama. The US, Tokyo and Sydney are bound to be different.
The main point I want to make is there is NOTHING WRONG with Japanese men! I can’t speak for others (although all the Chinese, Korean, Indonesian, Thai etc etc guys I’ve met have been nice enough). I’m sure there are a variety of reasons why some WW won’t date AM. The idea that they are all jerks isn’t one of them.
Hey, I just thought of something. Almost every western woman I know has gone gaagaa over Tibetan guys. Tibetans have real rugged good looks, generally pretty tall, great smiles, high cheekbones, etc. I am seriously not kidding, there were very few Western women who didn’t think they were all stud muffins. This was from both the tour groups and the whole budget/student traveller set. For 3 months, I was travelling with my blonde Australian girlfriend through parts of Tibet, and she just went on and on about how attracted she was (to the Tibetan guys that is).
Lhasa is filled with Tibetan guys who do nothing but perform a stud service for white women. Okay, I’m not sure if they impregnate the women or get paid for what they do, but they sure found it almost laughably easy to give Western women on vacation a fun romp. At least that was true in the late 1980’s.
I personally witnessed one encounter with a woman on a tour group I guided, where the Tibetan with zero English language skills, walked up with a brilliant smile, pantomined the index finger into a thumb and forefinger hole, and then disappeared for a few hours of cross cultural communication. She wasn’t the only one on the tour who herself a Tibetan experience, either.
Tsubaki, was the same true of language classes as opposed to cultural classes? YMMV, but in the Asian language classes, I found many more white men than women studying. Although I would agree that in the cultural classes, the reverse was true.
Also Tsubaki, most of my female friends that married Japanese men, did so outside of Japan. Some lived in Japan for a while with their spouses, but none wanted to settle in Japan. One of the factors was that they thought their spouses unconciously conformed to some of the Japanese male stereotypes when in Japan, and that they loved the way their spouses acted outside of Japan but much less so inside of Japan. Maybe that was more of a big city thing. Do you have any thoughts on that?
I think JThunder touched on a reason for the “asian girls are so hot” phenomenon. It isn’t that they look “exotic” to white men as much as it is that they don’t look familiar. When your typical white guy (at least one who hasn’t had lifelong exposure to asian people) looks at an asian woman’s face, he sees her asian features because he’s not used to seeing them in everyone’s respective faces. When the same guy looks at a white woman’s face, he sees past her caucasian features (because they’re very familiar to him) and can “see” her with greater detail. Essentially, an asian woman’s “asian” facial features distract the white guy from seeing any facial flaws she might have (even if they’re the same ones that the white woman in this example has). Since he doesn’t see any facial flaws (and virtually everyone has facial flaws), he sees a flawless face, and therefore a beautiful face. Perhaps this is why Lucy Liu is considered very beatiful by white guys but not all that beautiful by asian guys.
Then again, I probably have no idea what I’m talking about…
Well, I think Asian girls, especially those from Japan, are as cute as can be! They look exotic and sweet! Unfortunately, in my area, there are few living here and those that are happen to be far too young for me or else I would be dating one if I could.
None of that here in CA. I think that it is the exact opposite, they are not exotic at all. They are the girls that I grew up with, so they are the girls I find attractive.
I quizzed my boyfriend again about it last night. He said that it’s not so much that he’s attracted to Asians, but that he’s always liked small, dark-haired and dark-eyed women - and it just so happens that most Asians are small, dark-haired and dark-eyed. Plus he likes my mother’s cooking.
How YOU doin’? I’m part japanese and I have no complaints except for this THICK, unstyleable (such a word? :P) hair…I can’t do anything with it and it’s really pissing me off!!
I’ve dated non-asians but all of them seemed to have a thing strictly for asians…so yea…gotta find some more girls with the same preference…
I’ve been fascinated by Japanese women for quite some time but it’s always been a fashion thing for me. Now I’m not talking about those who dress like Barbi and look like toys but those that have what I feel is a very natural look. They just dress very fetchingly. Whereas American girls (of all ethnicitices) tend to dress in ways that just don’t appeal to me at all. This also, now that I think about it, seems to be the reason I find women from the 30s, 40s and 50s more attractive then those of today.
Although the difference between Japanese and American may be because I mostly see people on vacation and the Japanese tend to dress up a little to go shopping whereas the Americans tend to dress down. Or if they’re young wear bulky, unflattering clothing.
I’m a half-asian male (the other half is mostly Norwegian) and I’m mostly attracted to white women. With everything else being equal, if I had to choose between a beautiful asian woman and a beautiful white woman, I would go with the white woman. I’m not sure exactly why, but maybe after growing up with six sisters, three of them being full asian, it’s hard for me to see asian women in a sexual way.
I think the size(body not penis) is being very much gilded over. Aparently I’m the only willing to admit it but there is something subconciously attractive about a small girl. When you are with a really petite chick there is a part of the brain that says “She small and vulnerable, Me big and strong, me protect her, my life has worth”. When a girl 5’ or shorter starts to cry or look scared I am helpless to deny her anything she might want.
And it works in reverse. I know a lot of asian guys 5’6’’ or shorter that just don’t feel comfortable asking a girl as tall or almost as tall out, which narrows the field of available women significantly. Some of those guys have a great deal of resentment that 6’2’’ white guys are dating 4’10’’ asian girls and reducing the pool to almost nothing.
Size is definitely part of it. My girl is Japanese and I do like the feeling of her smaller body in my arms. Dunno why, just what I like. I’m not much in to tall girls.
I also second what Kayeby’s boyfriend said: I always liked small, dark haired, dark eyed girls, even before coming to Japan. I have been coming back and forth to Japan since I was 16, and it was all very formative for me, I think. I don’t exclusively date Asian girls by any means, but I do find myself attracted to more Asian girls (and black girls, for that matter) than white girls. Who knows? No accounting for taste.
As for her, I know she likes my hairy chest, and I know she thinks Ewan McGregor is awfully sexy, but I don’t think she has a specific “thing” for white guys. I think I am her first white boyfriend.
I have also seen people complain about how Asian females tend to fall for the less stereotypical white males (aka not just the football jocks and such.)
My guess is that it is because they are actually able to appreciate the one or two guys out there who think that flowers and poetry are more romantic then a night out at a (insert loud noisy event of your choosing here).
::shrugs::
Or maybe it is just cuz this is america and all in all everybody is sooner or later bound to get their genes mixed up with everybody elses.
I do like the first theory better though, err,
<— is a nitwit who still believes in the entire romantic poetry thing.
I have found that very few caucasian females tend to go for that though, instead preferring the entire movies + craptacular food routine. Ugh.
(how the hell are movies romantic? No effort goes into them. Now hand making artificial flowers (which I tried and failed miserably at mind you) or writing some long poem, now THAT shows that you care, hell any schum can take a gal out to a movie, it requires true thought to create a gift that reflects the person to whom you are giving the gift. )
Another white guy married to a Chinese gal checking in. No fetish whatsoever, she was the first Asian I dated actually. I do admit that I have always had a preference for dark hair and dark eyes. She is Shanghainese, and absolutely not submissive, and not petite either (167 cm).
The drawback is that I cannot talk to my inlaws, as my mandarin is limited to about 100 words. On the other hand, the bright side is that they cannot talk to me either, and we get along quite nicely that way.
The main problem with the family is that we both are not thinking along traditional Chinese lines. Which works perfectly for us, but it is hard to explain to the Chinese relatives why we still don’t have a baby even though we are married for 2 years…
I’m part japanese and I have no complaints except for this THICK, unstyleable (such a word? :P) hair…I can’t do anything with it and it’s really pissing me off!!