You do not have a wife QueerGeekGirl you have a partner. Marriage is when you marry the oposite sex. If I was to marry my dog that is female should I call that my wife? I wish you would not try to… butcher… the english meaning of wife. This is the dictionary meaning of wife.
wife ( P ) Pronunciation Key (wf)
n. pl. wives (wvz)
wifehood n.
Oh, grow up, BeatenMan…the English language (like any language) is defined by a bunch of rules we MADE UP. Anyway, manipulation of the common meaning of a word to express a similar idea is not all that rare, and would probably not offend you in any other case. What’s important is that it conveys the idea of “lifelong female romantic partner,” and if it does that, it’s an appropriate means to that end.
I have a question myself, along the lines of the actions/desires thing (which IMO deserves its own thread, maybe even a GD one):
What if a woman, who identifies as straight–actually, let’s make it more complicated and say she’s in a long-term, satisfying straight relationship–finds herself inexplicably drawn to some women, but the thought of sex with one makes her cringe? Does it depend on whether she is drawn to them based on personality or physical aspects? If so, why/how? (You don’t have to limit yourself to these questions, just expound.)
My goodness, what an invasion of the inflammatory remarks!
I have one more question for the lesbians in here: can I watch? 
I’ll say. It was such a nice thread until recently. Hey QueerGeekGirl, did you abaondon us? I hope you didn’t huff away in disgust 
While the first definition may not apply, the second one sure as heck does.
Her wife is female. Her wife is a
spouse ( P ) Pronunciation Key (spous, spouz)
n.
A marriage partner; a husband or wife.
Thus she qualifies under your own definition. If you’re going to demean, at least do it properly.
The original meaning of wife was “woman.”
QueerGeekGirl (and her wife) may not be the first one, but she is most certainly the second. Anyway, a dictionary does not give the “official” meaning of the word, it lists common usages. Using a word in a manner that doesn’t fit the most common dictionary definition isn’t “wrong.”
Maybe that isn’t a bad idea 
The “well what would you call a …” definition questions seem to be taking over the thread, and (for me at least) have more or less been answered to the best ability of the participating lesbians 
Thank you very much ladies! This thread is a wonderful reminder that people are alike, not different… and that we are, or IMO, should be, identified by so much more then sexual preference.
Interesting thread…a pity I caught it so late, the thoughts all pile up as I read the older posts.
One of the things I find interesting is how people love to catagorize themselves and others. Everyone wants to identify, and what is different is in varying levels, a threat. Homophobes will group all non-herteros in as
gay…other, different…and dislike/fear/hate on that alone. Gays will classify
themselves further: Butch, Dyke, Lipstick Lesbian, Queer, Flaming, etc.
I understand this as a dating device…sorting out potential partners…but
not as a political group. Saying someone isn’t a real bisexual if they
can’t/won’t love someone of the same sex…yet will have sex with them?
They aren’t gay enough? A vote is a vote…and when you have a whole bunch
of people willing to hate the both of you, does it make sense to be picky over semantics?
And what is with the continued insitance that Love and Sex are the same thing? The idea that the male fantasy of lesbian sex somehow demeans the emotional bond between two women…why? How does my fantasy relate to or affect your reality? Sure, if I were to treat your reality as my fantasy…I can see your beef…I’d be a real asshole and think I had the right to ask to watch
you make love to your gf. No, a guy isn’t thinking about “real” lesbians in his
fantasy…no more than a woman fantasizing about being “ravished” by a mysterious stranger really wants to be raped.
I have known gay people, bi folks…for most of my adult life. I don’t generally give a flip about sexuality, but steriotypes bug the crap out of me. Every time I see a gay guy talking in a high pitched voice acting emffeminate I want to ask them if they talk like that b/c they think that’s the way gay men are supposed to act. I’m not talking gender identity here…if a man or woman feels they “were born in the wrong body” and want to act more/less masculine that’s one thing…perpetuating a sterio-type by ignorance is another. (I’ve got a southern accent…but even if I like my heritage doesn’t mean I go around trying to sound like Foghorn Leghorn. Why should being attracted to men mean you should be an extra from the Birdcage?)
It may be that I don’t understand the desire for identity in the same way, maybe I lack that commonality. I am hetero, obviously I identify with it the most. I can identify with sexual curiosity, abstracting sex as a physical act to the point where bisexuallity seems obviously normal. I can even identify with lesbians…after all, I love women as well…we have that in common. It is with the gay male that I lack the most common ground. I can understand caring for identifing with, loving another man…brotherhood. I just do not understand not having that spark of curiosity, the alien attraction to women. They are so unlike us (men)…so different…and yet the same. Ah well, I’m starting to drift off into my own thoughts…later…
I don’t want to see this thread die, so I’ll ask a question.
Is it true what they say about “lesbian bed death”? You know:
Gay male couple: male sex drive multiplied by male sex drive.
Straight couple: male sex drive divided by female sex drive.
Gay female couple: female sex drive divided by female sex drive.
Any truth to it?
I don’t mean to bump this thread unnecessarily, but I wanted to apologize for abandoning it. Thank you all for all of the insightful questions. I actually learned a lot about myself and my own thoughts, as much as I did anyone elses. It was great fun and very informative.
Thanks, guys!
In response to priceguy’s question…
When I was a lesbian (hell, some would still call me a lesbian), I never had a problem with lesbian bed death. I think that may have been because I have a high sex drive, and so did my partners…