I’d have picked Sean as a better rhyme for lawn.
So does this mean that the original song was sexist for thinking only women would be wronged this way? 
Kill his whole family, Emily.
I see that Little Nemo and The Devil’s Grandmother have both used the name Chris. I propose, though, that since the song is about breaking up, a more apropo response would be:
Suck on this Chris!
Come in her mouth,Ralph.
Stick it in her pooper,Cooper.
Welcome to 1976…the same question was asked in issue 1 of Larry Flynt’s Chic magazine…
They do to Thais, who always say Rawn, Dawn and Jawn for the English names Ron, don and John.
Flush her down the john, Don…
In the spirit of Leykis 101:
Just dump the bitch, Mitch
Start wearing a skirt, Kurt
Try on a dress, Les
Give him a brassiere, Guiniviere
“Just drop off the key, Lee” could be considered unisex. Also, you’re not considering the possibility of same-sex relationships.
Of course, in the verses of the song it’s a woman listing ways the narrator might leave her, knowing that he won’t, so women’s names (or homosexual references – “Deny him your dick, Rick”) would have been out of place.
Bez? ::Google:: Polish boy’s name.
Tell her you’re a homo, Cuomo.
Lay a great big fart, Art.
I wonder if Garfunkel did that.
You got the reference!The “Art” part came first.
Surprisingly, it looks like no one has yet offered a rhyme for “Chuck.”
Fuck a duck, Chuck?
Tell him you’re gonna sue, Sue
Treat him like diarrhoea, Rhia
Say you never missed him, Kristin
Say he’s no good at sex, Becks.
I’m not at all bothered about Ron rhyming with lawn, but Mount as a name? I mean, I know anything can be a name, but if you take that too literally then you have any old word there rather than one that people would recognise as an actual name.
Take him off your meter, Rita (with a nod to Sir Paul)
I have V.D., Didi
It hurts when I piss, Chris
Being tested for chlamydia, Lydia
Wouldn’t you like some gonorrhea, Leah
Need a script for penicillin, Ellen
I think I got syphilis, Phyllis
That’s a blister, Mister
I got a uncurable virus, Iris