Cuervo and Smokey attack a pile of tuna, preparing more deadly ammo…
No! That would violate the Geneva Convention! Inigo’s got the right idea!
SEND THE CONCUBINES IN!
Ick.
:: stops fighting with Arr Matey’s pirate crew momentarily ::
HA! A-HAHAHA!
:: go back to fighting ::
Beggin’ the cap’n’s pardon, ma’am, but since when do pirates follow some lily-livered Geneva Convention?
'sides, I’m gonna miss those conkybine boys if they don’t come back…
But that’s so disgusting…
Arr! Time for the Captain to be doing some fightin’ herself, methinks!
Crudite, anyone? Hors d’eouvres? It’s all organic!
Captainess, my Captainess, don’t ferget yer hip flask o’ rum! Catch!
your post caused tears to stream down my face as my stiffled gauffaws sound more like Dastardly’s dog Muttley’s squeaky snrks
Then I read Mr Bus Guy’s post…
all is lost - i shall get no more work done today
Right!
catches flask, opens it, takes a swig. squirts it in the direction of the oiled-up, lit concubines jumping over
Light up the sails, boyos! HE’LL NEVER KNOW WHAT HIT HIM!
You’ll work or walk the plank, anyrose ! No slackers on this ship.
Come help me in the galley–the bo’sun’s mate is getting his meat roasted…
I be searchin’ the hold for treasure, me pirate wenches! Could be a while before I get back…if the First Mate don’t show up, the Second Mate is in charge! And if she don’t show up, YaWanna’s in charge!
ARRR!
drops into the hold
(I’m going home.)
I’ll be over here, rainin’ some more fire on the enemy, and admiring the Oiled Fighting Concubines Band Name!
aye aye.
::sniffs air for roasting meat::
looks around for First Mate, looks around for Second Mate. Grins wickedly
Alright then, me fine Oiled Fightin’ Conkybine Boyos - time for Cabana Boy auditions! Bring me & the rest o’ the pirate wenches some boat drinks! And don’t ye be forgettin’ the little umbrellas!
not too much ice in mine, please 
We’ve mutated into a pirate musical then have we?
Fine, as I rip off my cabin servant disguise and reveal myself as “Ramses of the Chippendales”
Who wants a piece of this?
drops into the hold
:: From below decks ::
Arrrr! giggle
Wait!
I was just about to light myself on fire and hurl myself over the side of the ship, as per previous instructions!
Now you want drinks!
So which is it? Do I defend the ship by lighting myself on fire and throwing myself at the enemy, or do I make frosty, fruity drinks with umbrellas in them and serve them to the pirate ladies while wearing my pirate/cabana boy loin cloth?
This is a tough choice? Flaming overboard to death, or Cabana Boy action?
The Cap’n’s down lootin’ the enemy ship. They’re not fightin’ anymore, no one’s heard a peep out of 'em. We’ve declared victory!
Now, I want to see some loincloths & boat drinks. If you want to oil yerself up an’ light yerself on fire while yer servin’ em up, that’s fine w’me.
giggle
I…ah…I’ll be *busy * down here for a while. You guys plunder, loot, and take whatever prisoners you want.