And Jester…I’m not depressed. Heck, in its own twisted, sick kind of way, this thread is fun. I mean…think about all the great memories we have… cue the memory montage to swelling background music of We Are the Champions
There’s a story here, boys. And even though it doesn’t make any sense or have any real meaning…it’s our story. sniff
Why, when I think of the triumphant moments when Sauron towered over the quivering beast after a Labor Day weekend battling its lower intestine…when Tymp spouted really impressive threats and wore that cool armor with the hinge on the codpiece…when Jester leapt into the mouth of the creature–for my sake!–and fought so valiantly with his spork–when particlewill nearly exhausted himself telling truly and profoundly odd tales of liquid latex mining…well, it just brings a tear of confused and perplexed joy to my eye.
I’m so proud to have been present. So proud to have known the greats…
You’re exactly right, struuter. We all share a bond that goes beyond the ken of normal people on this planet, a bond forged in the fiery furnace of shared tribulation and anxiety. We’ve laughed together, we’ve fought together, and we’ve emerged from depths unimagined by mere mortals – battered, beaten, tired beyond belief, yet straighter of back, keener of vision, with an appreciation of … Hey! Doughnuts!
Just don’t think you can claw your way out from the inside, Ogre. We’ve learned a thing or two… lays head affectionately on Sauron’s shoulder, whispering he’s not going to listen, is he? He’s going to go storming in there and we’ll have to drag him out. My cloak is ruined and I can’t spare this robe. Better find the spork…
Uh oh. Methinks I spy the nature of this thread. It’s like a big, friendly, fuzzy pitcher plant. There’s a shiny little surprise lying at the bottom, and that water down there looks so comfortable. Everybody seems to be having a good time.
::SPLASH::
Right about now is when I find out I’m in the middle of the “Anthony” segment from the Twilight Zone movie.
Sorry for the obscure reference. The Title shall be mine!
:Taps Sauron on the shoulder: Excuse me. Can you show me the exit, please?
There are a couple of possible exits, but I’m not sure I’d recommend either one. I can tell you from personal experience that one of them is pretty vile, but from what I’ve seen still clinging to Jester, it may be the better alternative.
You guys are nuts. After sifting through seven pages of this schtuff, the least I can do is toss my hat in the ring. Qualifications? The last 3 threads I posted to are now nothing more than hollow, rotting corpses.
Since all you regulars have been busy beating the crap out of each other, maybe I can sneak in here and steal a victory. no way
Maybe it will be like Las Vegas, where you watch people drop hundreds of dollars in a slot machine, then you walk in at the last minute and win it all with one quarter. fat chance
Do I expect to kill this thread? Hell No! I just told you I’ve been through 7 pages! I can’t possibly kill this thread. This will be great for my morale! Just the confidence booster that new meat like me needs to finally shed my thread-murdering complex.
hands him a doughnut Honey, relax. This is no killer’s thread. This is just a sort of thread-killers-anonymous. We’ve all done it–some more than others–some with lightning speed–others with the gentle caress of a lover. Truth is…we kinda like it here. Sick? Okay, so you say that like it’s a bad thing…
I will tell you the big secret. The one we all know deep in our hearts but are afraid to admit. The real winner–the true slayer will post something like this:
“So, hey! What’s everybody up to this morning? I can’t wait to see what you guys are going to do to this thing today!”
Get it? The killer will be the one who’s actually trying NOT to kill the blasted thing. Why will it be like that? Because this is a thread. And anyone who’s killed a thread knows that’s how it goes. That’s why we all feel so crappy for doing it. Right?
So, come over here, sit down and take a break. Just don’t sit too close to that puddle. And don’t, for god’s sake, touch that spork.
Welcome, Dire Wolf. (Can I call you DW for short?) Can’t have too many cooks in THIS broth.
Since you’ve slogged your way to the end of the thread, you obviously know the combatants here, so I’ll dispense with the introductions. A few things you probably need to be aware of, though:
If particle will looks like he’s gonna start another story, run for cover.
Don’t be lulled into a false sense of security by the apparent solidity of Tymp’s codpiece. The only thing between us and Armageddon is a high-tension hinge.
Jester is a man to be feared for his courage and fortitude. He’s also a man to be reviled for starting this damn thread in the first place.
struuter is a wonderful, caring person who will make you almost any snack you want. Plus she gets naked fairly regularly.
Sure. Just…don’t…call me…late for dinner
:sheepish grin: Sorry, couldn’t resist.
So I can come out from under the bed now? That thing was really starting to scare me <woo-hoo-hooooo>
Thanks, I like doughnuts!!! Can I have a struuter strumpet strudel, too?
I Like Cupcakes!!! Mmmmm…scrump-diddly-icious!
<thread killers anonymous 12-step program>
Hello. My name is Dire Wolf, and I am a thread killer. It started when I was just a dire pup. I was very young when I was born. My earliest thread killing memories are from the fourth grade…OH NO!!! A FOURTH GRADE MEMORY!!!
:running like hell:
Whoops! Uh, sorry struuter, I slipped in your puddle…
Did I get any on ya?
Sure. Just…don’t…call me…late for dinner
:sheepish grin: Sorry, couldn’t resist.
So I can come out from under the bed now? That thing was really starting to scare me <woo-hoo-hooooo>
Thanks, I like doughnuts!!! Can I have a struuter strumpet strudel, too?
I Like Cupcakes!!! Mmmmm…scrump-diddly-icious!
<thread killers anonymous 12-step program>
Hello. My name is Dire Wolf, and I am a thread killer. It started when I was just a dire pup. I was very young when I was born. My earliest thread killing memories are from the fourth grade…OH NO!!! A FOURTH GRADE MEMORY!!!
:running like hell:
Whoops! Uh, sorry struuter, I slipped in your puddle…
Did I get any on ya?
