cough, cough oh, the fumes…the stench…cough
What a way to go out…well, at least I’m dressed.
succombs to the rancid, scalding breath of the beast
Oh no you don’t, struuter! You’re not going to leave me here by myself!
Don’t make me perform mouth-to-mouth, now. I’ll pass out from sheer joy.
Curse you, thread!
Crap. And I’m not even conscious to enjoy it…talk about passing out from sheer joy…
Fight fight fight for Washington State …
Okay, WAAAY-too-obscure reference to a way-too-obscure movie. “Volunteers”, in case anyone is completely lost. Tom Hanks. John Candy. Pretty funny. Anyway, sorry about that.
struuter, just relax. I’ll have you breathing again in no time. Somebody fight off the thread while I tend to her.
Mmmm. Did you have pancakes with syrup for breakfast? You’re pleasingly sticky. And it’s still warm, too. I could really enjoy … OH GROSS! IT’S THREAD SALIVA!
(Sauron, I very nearly hurt myself trying to control my laughing fit. Ouch. Headache…)
In the words of Peter Venkman, “He slimed me. I feel all funky…”
YICK. This IS gross…I’ll never eat molassis again. Last time I try and talk reason to a giant, congested thread. I think it LICKED me. Yuck. Is there any way to get this stuff off? Do I have to take a bath in tomato juice or something?
I’d give you a big kiss for saving my life, Sauron…but I don’t want to gross you out further. Ugh…
Didn’t you have some soap and such that you used to bathe Jester? If he had any gentlemanly qualities about him whatsoever, he’d return the favor now.
Of course, if he doesn’t, I’ll be happy to step in. Let me show you why they call me “the evil sorcerer.” Heh-heh-heh.
OK, Ready?
:drum rolllllllllllllllllllllllllll:
Ta Da! I dropped my robe for all to see!!!
Made ya look! I didn’t say I was wearing it, I just said I dropped it.
Struuter, you temptress, you are correct. I really have no idea why I have a fuzzy robe, but I’m holding on to it in case I need it later. Is this thread like Leisure Suit Larry?
(Ogre is being very kind and using his robe to keep his Red Colubus monkey safe and sound.)
Oh, great. It’s not enough to fight off a rabid thread; now we’ve got pseudo-flashing from Dire Wolf.
Well, I don’t know bout that, but I’ll be more than happy to return the favor. After all, this spork is possibly the best thing anybody’s ever done for me. And “an excellent poster?” This day just got SO much better. Thanks, struut. And now, your bath.
Well, if we make it out of this battle alive, suffice it to say that MY sig, at least, will bear an “Official Threadkiller Badge” for the rest of my posting career. I’ve never had so much fun in my life.
But, if this thread doesn’t follow the Apollo 13 plot, and we don’t make it back through that atmosphere, there’s no group of people I’d rather go out with. You’ve stuck with me, and always been ready with witty banter times a gajillion. It’s been a blast.
Never mind that, Sauron, I’ve just spent the last hour and a half staring down this beast. It was my first real close look, and cripes, it’s scary. And big…Real Big. I think it’s got a big blue ox with it, too. Even standing on a chair, I was just able to reach it’s ankles. You guys were right…
What’s up, thread? Looks like it’s just you and me, you big, fungly, lurchy beast. Guess I have the night shift, 'cause apparently everyone else has gone home. If I fall asleep here, please don’t roll over and squash me. There would be nothing left but a greasy spot, and I wouldn’t want the others to slip and fall.
HELLO (((hello))) ((hello)) (hello) …
Jeez, no one’s here.
You didn’t eat them, did you? You know Jester gives you heartburn. If Tymp’s codpiece flies open, you are in for one hellacious case of indigestion. And it’s struuter’s job to make the snacks, not be a snack.
Ogre? P-will?? Sauron??? Where the hell are you guys? If this is a joke, I’m not laughing!!!
I’m here, I’m here. I’ve taken my usual nightly post up in the watch tower with a sniper rifle, just in case the thread tries anything. Since it doesn’t, though, I just sit up here, thinking, and watching it for weaknesses. So far, no luck, but a guy can hope. Care for a nightcap? This thermos isn’t exactly filled with coffee, if you know what I mean.
Ya know, It ocurrs to me that this thread is less like Apollo 13 than it is like a Thread Survivor… Look back a the beginning, and see how many people couldn’t take the heat of killing this thread and have fallen by the wayside… Only the Posters with the strongest constitutions have managed to stay on here…(With the Exception of Dire Wolf, a much needed reenforcement!)
I mean, that’s what this is all about, isn’t it? Be the last person to post before this thing dies off.
Struuter said to me…
[QUOTE]
hands particlewill a journal and pen Write those down. You’ll wish you had later. They’re too funny to let go.
[QUOTE/]
Oh I have saved them off… Plus a small one from
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=37828&pagenumber=2[url/]
They will be available in a numbered, leatherbound book next year. (or not.)
Oh BTW. I just heard about this. You all might find it informative.
www.spork.com[url/]
That was my first attempt at a url post… I hope it worked…
Apparently my first attempts at vB code have failed miserably. Off to go practice. In the mean time I suppose you could cut and paste the urls…
Poop.
I see what I did wrong now… QUOTE/ and url/ indeed. I am an idiot.
For a guy who boasts of being the supreme thread killer, you have really managed to keep this one going…and going…
The spork url doesn’t work… Page went away or something.
Poop.
Quasar, this thread has our souls now and won’t let go…
Hey, jester. Hows about some of that thermos?
Hell, don’t tell Satan, he thought he’d cornered the soul market…
Thanks for the doughnut Struuter - I have been doing battle with something more evil than this thread - the horror that is two (count them, yes two!) open university assignments due on the same day for a quarter of the course marks witth no extensions available!
I succeeded, but thanks to the fuel crisis over here, they cancelled the ticker tape parade in my honour…but all the booze & food got here ok, so dig in O noble thread killers!
fierra,
yuck, that brings back memories. Sleep? Who needs sleep? Thanks for breakfast…I had a bad run-in with the thread yesterday. If it hadn’t been for Sauron…shudder Let’s just say I owe him one.
Um…I hate to ask, but Dire? Can I borrow that robe? I left mine at home. I’m going to have to pack a suitcase…I tried washing what I had on, but those clothes crawled into a corner and died a slow, painful death. Ick.
Sauron? What exactly does the evil sorcerer thing mean? I know I’m going to regret asking… 
Morning all. Anyone for coffee?
Sure, struut, here it is, still smelling nice and sweet from your fabric softener. I haven’t even had a chance to wear it yet (I’m covered with fur, and it’s been rather warm out lately…)