I need some coffee, and after the night I had, I’ll need a shot of Reddi-Wip in it, too. No, no, don’t get up - I’ll find some in the fridge.
What a night. AARRROOOOOOOOOO! Sorry for howling, but spending a night with a beast under a full moon has apparently turned me back into a full fledged wolf again.
That big stupid oaf of a thread rolled over on me. Thank goodness I was behind a knee, otherwise I’d be one dead puppy by now.
Sorry I didn’t hear you guys last night. Right after I looked, The Nightmare On Thread Street fell asleep, and guess what? It snores. Loud. So loud and boisterous that it snarfed me right up into it’s nose (I was in the area, just admiring the dental work). Up through the sinuses, and then a bumpy ride down the trachea, where I was promptly deposited in the left lung. I noticed some scarring, probably from some old exposures to fire and brimstone.
I spent an hour in that whirlwind, flying around like some demented kite in a tornado. Finally managed to get a paw in the alveoli and climb my way to the top, then back into the sinuses again. It must be allergic to fur, since it only took a minute before wha-shoooo, it sneezed and I was ejected at 117 mph, not unlike some sort of canine cannonball. I hit the wall with a splat, and I was covered in snot. Blecchhh!
struuter, if you think primordial goo is hard to get out of clothes, try getting thread snot out of your fur. Of course, if I wait long enough and stand out in the sun, I should revert back to some sort of human form, and the whole nasty mess will just slough off.
Hey, fair is fair, and heaven knows I’m always looking out for everybody, so come over here Volfy and let me brush that coat. It’s the least I can do for the robe.
So…you can control this lycanthropy or no? Just curious. I can see where it would be pretty handy if you could. Then again…it must get exciting for your dates if you can’t. Sorta let’s 'em know if they’re getting to you?
Glad you made it through the night.
J? How you doin’ today? Those bells working all right on your hat? cringes, waiting for smart-ass comment from somebody
Behind a knee? I didn’t think threads had knees…it must be metamorphosizing!
Struuter, as if we’d make a smart ass comment to you - there’d be no breakfast tomorrow if we did!
I was driving for 2 hours last night (delivering assignments) so plenty of time to watch the moon turn from gold to silver & be haloed by clouds. If you want to talk moon watching sometime, Dire…
looks around; sneaks over to sleeping thread; waves hand before its monstrous face; satisfied that it is indeed asleep, sneaks back over to black bag and begins digging through it; pulls out toothpaste, toothbrush, bobby-pins, comb, nail polish, jar of Dippity-Do; collect items and sneaks back to sleeping thread
whispering Well big fella, just you and me here. Time to clean you up…
Every thread (but one) I’ve posted to in the last three weeks has died within five or six more posts. I started a thread that only managed one reply. This will not be the last post in this thread, but I can promise you: the end is now nigh.
struuter, you vixen…I just love getting brushed. I’ll roll over for you anyday (but don’t say I didn’t warn you if my back leg starts twitching.)
Lycanthropy, huh? That’s a pretty big word - better be careful where you point that thing! It just so happens that I am not delusional - I was turned into a wolf! You’ve seen this thread, you’ve all seen it. It has powers beyond that of normal reason!!! I don’t know what happened, but it did!
[sup]OK, OK, so I have turned into a wolf before, but just keep that under your hat. You too, Jester, whatever you call that thing on your head[/sup]
And yes, as a matter of fact the ladies do enjoy it when I turn into a wolf.
[sup]OK, some of them get a little freaky when I sniff their crotch[/sup]
fierra, I’ll be glad to hang with you for the next full moon, but you might want to bring rawhide chewies and snausages, just in case
By my count, this thread now has knees, ankles, lungs, a gullet, a mouth, and one very lucky tongue that licked struuter!!!
I meant lycanthropy in the…how shall I say it?..‘gaming’ sense. I actually looked it up and never intended it to seem delusional, although I realize that’s a definition.
Hey, you wolf-out…I don’t have a problem with that. But I’ll keep a rolled up newspaper, just in case you start sniffing where you shouldn’t.
Now…back to this thread. Volfy, what do you think? Pin curls on the big, ugly beast? If only I had some pale blue eye shadow. Man, is it gonna be pissed when it wakes up. At least we’ll all get a good chuckle out of it.
Go for it, struut. I’m partial to blue myself (ahem, the color, I should say…), so that sounds like an excellent choice. How about some of that glitter stuff on it’s chest? Maybe a nice plum lipstick to bring out the highlights in those bloodshot eyes.
Can you find any pumps in that size? Nice big 4" spikes, so we can watch it wobble when it tries to walk
You may as well find some earrings while you’re at it, but they better be clip-ons. If you can’t find any big enough, you could try a couple of those wall-sized dream catchers.
You just be careful and don’t wake it up. P-will, fierra, does anyone have a camera? We need to catch this so we can show it to it’s children.
Hey…HEY!!! Cut it out, Jester! Don’t put it’s hand in warm water!!!
Hello all!
Wow! have I really been alseep for 2 pages? guess that early thread fighting really whipped me.
Hello Wolfy! welcome to the evil thread! I’ve brought some dinner for those of us on the evening watch. Lessee…mashed potatoes…Garden Burgers…corn on the cob…and leftover cheesecake.
Dig in!
By the way, I’ve been thinking, and I have a theory:
If the thread did indeed lick Struuter, then perhaps it has become as fond of us as we have of it. If so, perhaps we can domesticate the thread!
Jester and Sauron- How’d you like to build a threadhouse in the backyard?
Fierra and Wolf- Could you look online and see if you can find a vet that will vaccinate our thread? I’d hate for it to come down with Hepatitis or a whooping cough.
Struuter- Kepp up the good work on Thready’s makeover…but could you do something about it’s eyebrows? (or should I say eyebrow)
I’ll be at Costco getting bulk thread food. anyone need anything while I’m there?
So far, Jester has been down the Mongathreads’ throat and into its’ gizzard, and Dire Wolf has been thru its’ resperatory system?
That only leaves one major body opening left to be explored, and I, FOR ONE, am NOT going THERE!!!
Nope nope nope. Ain’t a gonna do it.
Uhmmmmmmmm…will? Sauron already covered THAT one. Look back around Labor Day weekend. He was the first to attempt internal warfare. You helpin us on the night shift tonight?
Oh, rest assured…if anyone can throw a thread off its rails, it’s me. Have you noticed that the posting rate slowed considerably? This can’t be a coincidence.
Hope you’re fully rested, Shama. I have a feeling you’re going to need it. Guess I missed the Costco run. Damn. I really had an urge for a bucket of mayonaisse. Anyway, I ate all the corn, and just finished the last piece of cheescake. urp Sorry, man.
If we can domesticate this thing, I say the first thing we have it do is clean up around here. I see nothing but thread emissions everywhere. So far we have saliva, snot, and pee, and of course, whatever Jester tracked in last week.
struut, I must say you’re doing a fine job so far. Mary Kay? Max Factor? This big dolt is really starting to resemble, well, I don’t know yet…but it’s getting there.
p-will, if you really do become a turnip at midnight, I hope you don’t go home on a truck. Wouldn’t want ya to fall off
Gee dpr, Hadn’t thought of that.
No, wait. I did think of that, back around page three…
And just when I am cussing out faery princesses, I see a Doper with the name Farie Princess somethingoranother, on a different thread. I suppose I insulted her. Yeeshh.
I am not mopping up all this gross Hugothread excrement.
Finishes applying plum lipstick to thread; stands back to look at it; squints; tilts head; smiles; brushes hands together; turns and walks a safe distance away
Well. There it is. Looks like a combination of Marjorie the Trash Heap and Janet Reno. That would be Janet Reno with a spiral perm. (no offense Janet…)
Anybody got that camera yet? Oh it’s going to be bad when it wakes up. If that thread asks, just tell it I was responsible. I don’t want anything to happen to any of you. I mean, if it’s gonna eat me–at least it’ll have clean teeth and fresh breath.
Sorry, I was too busy with the thread to get food. I pledge my eternal loyalty to whomever gives me a big old cup of coffee. You think that’s a small price? You haven’t been up all night with a giant tweezers.
drops down in a corner Thanks everybody, for staying up all night keeping guard for me. You’re the best…
(but don’t say I didn’t warn you if my back leg starts twitching.)
