Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees, look at these
Of course its the hand movements which provide the childish giggle factor.
Some things stick in the memory; I saw some of these in my mom’s yearbook many years ago:
(Chorus to “I’ve been working on the railroad”)
Someone’s making love to Dinah,
Someone’s making love, I know -
Someone’s making love to Dinah,
‘cause I don’t hear the ol’ banjo.
(Sung to “My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean”)
Last night as I lay on my pillow,
Last night as I lay on my bed,
I stuck both my feet out the window -
Next morning, my neighbors were dead
My breakfast lies over the ocean,
My lunch lies over the rail,
My dinner lies in great commotion,
Won’t somebody bring me a pail?
Finally:
(Sung to “Bicycle Built for Two”)
John, John, here is my answer true;
I’m not crazy over the likes of you.
If you can’t afford a carriage,
Call off the goddamned marriage,
'Cause I’ll be damned if I’ll be jammed
On a bicycle built for two.
Classics that shouldn’t be forgotten.
I know it as :
Hitler has only got one ball.
The other is in the Albert Hall.
His mother, the dirty bugger,
Cut it o-off when he-e was small.
I found this site while looking for a song about He-Man (BTW, it goes [sing to the theme tune]: I have the power/to pick up a flower/it takes me an hour/or two!)
it lists many great examples of such songs.
Here was one of mt favorites
Sam Sam the lavatory man
Chief inspector of the outhouse can
Toilet paper tissue paper
Paper towel
Listen to the rumble of the human bowel
Down down under the ground
Look at all the floaties just a floaten around
Sam Sam the lavatory man
Picken up the floaties with a little tin can
And then a friend of mine came up with new versions to
“Yesterday”
Leprosy
All my skin is falling off of me
I’m not half the man I used to be
Oh how did I get leprosy
Syphilis
It all started with a little kiss
Now it hurts to take a piss
Oh how did I get syphilis
Ridin’ down the highway
Doin’ ninety miles an hour
When the chain on my bicycle broke
Landed in a ditch with a peddle up my ass
And my dink playin Dixie with the spokes.
Hi ho, hi ho, it’s off to school I go
The teachers look like Frankenstein
The water tastes like turpentine
Hi ho, hi ho, hi ho, hi ho.
Ah, good times.
“#Uncle Billy had a 10 foot willy and he showed it to the girl next door,
She thought it was a snake, and cut it with a rake, and now it’s only 5 foot 4.”
“#Jingle Bells, Batman Smells, Robin flew away,
Uncle Billy lost his willy on the motorway, hey!”
“I’m not a pheasant plucker, I’m a pheasant plucker’s son, and I’m only plucking pheasants, 'til the pheasant plucker comes.”
This is the story of Molly Brown
Forty men couldn’t lay her down!
Over the hill came Pistol Pete
20 pound of pure lean meat
He threw Molly on the grass
Stuck his dick right up her ass!
Then poor Molly let a fart
Which blew his balls ten feet apart
Over the hill went Pistol Pete
20 pounds of shredded meat.
Mother Superior calls the 10 sisters in the convent to the common hall - lines’em up. Walking up and down in front of them she begins:
“I have reason to believe a MAN was here last night.”
Nine nuns gasp. One nun giggles"Tee hee hee"
“We found THIS condom!”
Nine nuns gasp. One nun giggles “Tee hee hee”
“It has a HOLE in it”
One nun gasps. Nine giggle, “Tee hee hee”
Casey Jones was a son-of-a-bitch
Drove his train into a whore house ditch
Lined a hundred whores against the wall
Bet ten dollars he could fuck them all
Fucked ninty-eight until his balls turned blue
Backed off and jacked off
And fucked the other two.
Rat shit, rat shit
Blueberry pie
Did you ever see a June bug
Jack off a flie?
Awwwww, they don’t make them like that anymore.
A white guy, a black guy, and a chinese guy are all challenged by a hooker to prove their manhood by making her scream during sex. As a reward she offers to pay them if they can make her scream versus them paying her. White guy says “I’ve got an eight inch cock and I plan on gettin’ that money.” So he goes in the back, no screaming ensues. He returns dejected and the black man says “I’ve got a ten inch dick and I can make bitch scream” and heads into the back. No scream. He comes out and says “That hoe is COLD.” The chinese guy goes in and there is this huge SCREAM coming from the back room. The chinese guy comes back with a wad of cash. The white guy and black guy said “How’d you do that?” The chinese guy says(in a sing-song voice)
Me chinese. Me know trick. Me put hot sauce on my dick.
Enjoy,
Steven
“Chinese” (push corners of eyes up)
“Japanese” (pull corners of eyes down)
“Dirty knees” (point at knees)
“Look at these” (lift shirt up)
Of course, when we did it none of the girls had any “these” to look at, but we still found it inexplicably funny.
Alternately:
Stick your finger in the hole
Now you have a Tootsie Roll!
featherlou: I learned this variation on the bicycle ditty:
She’ll be comin’ round the mountain at 'bout 90
When the chain on her motorcycle slips
She’ll be ridin’ on the grass
With the muffler up her ass…*
- miles per hour, of course – we didn’t believe in kilometers!
Mtgman: I never heard the hot sauce jape, but did become aware of two related anecdotes based at a Chinese restaurant. In one, the customer orders a soft drink, takes a sip, and spits out the liquid. When he complains to the waiter that “This tastes terrible!”, the response is:
Me know.
Me Chinese man.
Me play joke.
Me make wee-wee in your Coke!
In the second, the customer orders a chocolate rabbit for dessert, takes one bite, and gags. Calling the waiter over, he screams that “This tastes like shit!” The reply?
Me know.
Me Chinese man.
Me be funny.
Me make poo-poo into bunny!
When I was growing up in Northeast Ohio, the truck that brought cones, Popsicles, and other treats around the neighborhood was emblazoned with the slogan “Uncle Marty’s Ice Cream”. Kids being kids, they composed and disseminated these immortal lines:
Uncle Marty had a party
Everyone was there
Uncle Marty cut a farty
All stepped out for air!
In households of more refined sensibilities, the third line was changed to either Tutti Frutti blew a beauty or Inky Binky blew a stinky.
Maybe that’s the second verse. 
There is some theory in anthropology that addresses the concurrent development of certain phenomena (such as written language and pyramid-like structures) in various cultures that could not have had direct contact with each other.
Our version of the above rhyme had nothing to do with ice cream purveyors of any description. Nevertheless, it existed. It went:
Arty Farty had a party
And all the farts were there.
Inky Winky made a stinky
And all went out for air.
These apparently gratuitous and repeated references to a “bad” word and activity provided us with some important and very useful knowledge, viz., in a social situation, even farts can themselves be offended by farts. In fact, anyone at any time can be offended by something that reminds them of who and what they really are.
But I digress.
I first heard that last year when it was spoken by the luminous Sherry Moon Zombie in THE DEVIL’S REJECTS.
At girl scout camp we used to have the “Juvenile Delinquent” song:
I’m a juvenile delinquent
And I can’t go home no more
I’m a juvenile delinquent
And I can’t go home no more
My mama hates me
Can’t go home no more
My Daddy beats me
Can’t go home no more
And then there’s Granny
Swingin’ on the outhouse door
Without her nighties
Even though she’s 84!
She’s very sexy
And Grandpa shoutin’ “More, more, more!
I’m gonna git ya!”
Swingin’ on the outhouse door
And that’s not all…
Plus we had a joke that I still laugh at. A teenage girl had a boyfriend named Deeper. One night her parents weren’t home and she and Deeper decided now would be the time for her to lose her virginity. So they started getting it on.
Then she saw light on the driveway. Her parents were coming home early! “Deeper! Deeper!” she yelled.
He wouldn’t let up. Just then she heard her parents’ key in the lock and realized they were about to come into the house. “Deeper! Deeper!” she yelled.
But he wouldn’t stop. She heard footsteps coming down the hall and the knob of the bedroom door turning. “Deeper! Deeper!” she screamed.
And Deeper yelled back, “What do ya think I am, a telephone pole?”
Another one we learned in girl scouts was called “Boom Boom Ain’t It Great to Be Crazy.” One verse went:
Now I lay me down to sleep
With the boy across the street
Won’t my mommy be surprised
When she sees my little tummy rise!
There was an old joke I learned in the late 60’s or early 70’s:
A girl came home with a crisp new dollar in her hand. “Mommy,” she said, “a boy gave me a dollar for climbing the telephone pole!”
“Don’t do that honey,” said her mother. “He’s just trying to see your underwear.”
The next day the girl came home with a fiver. “Mommy,” she said, “that boy gave me FIVE dollars to climb the phone pole!”
“Don’t do that, honey. He just wants to see your underwear,” the mother repeats.
So on the third day she comes home with a ten dollar bill. “Mommy, the boy gave me TEN dollars to climb the phone poll!”
The mother yells, “Dammit, how many times have I told you he just wants to see your underwear?!”
“He didn’t,” the girl giggles, “because today I wasn’t wearing any.”
We had a Deeper joke… way dumber than yours
There was this boy in Grade 5 named Deeper. One day after school she approaches the teacher and asks, “Teacher, can you take off your shirt?”
“No way!”
“Deeper gonna cry” (pronounced sing song: cwIIIII-iiiii)
“Oh, all right” and the teacher takes of her shirt. (somehow this made sense to us)
“Teacher, can you take off your panties?”
“No way!”
“Deeper gonna cry!”
“Oh, all right”
“Teacher, can I shove this pencil up your bum”
“NO WAY!”
“Deeper gonna cry!”
“Oh, all right.”
Deeper pushes the pencil in about an inch and the teacher exclaims, “Deeper! Deeper!” So he shove it in deeper.
Ba-dum-bump!
We used to sing it like this:
You’re a motherfucker, titty sucker, two-balling bitch
You got a ping pong pussy and a rubber dick!
I have no idea where it came from.