Finish the line started in the previous post, then start a new one.
“Take my wife…”
Finish the line started in the previous post, then start a new one.
“Take my wife…”
“Please”
“I shot an elephant in my pajamas…”
“What he was doing in my pajamas, I’ll never know.”
“Outside a dog, a book is man’s best friend…”
“…Inside a dog, it’s too dark to read!”
“Friends help you move…”
“Real friends help you move bodies”
“I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather…”
“… not screaming and crying like his passengers.”
“Who was that lady I saw you with yesterday …”
Si
That was no lady, that was my wife!
I’d never be a member of any club…
…that would have me as a member.
Your book is both good and original, unfortunately…
…the parts that are good are not original, and the parts that are original are not good.
If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end…
…I wouldn’t be a bit surprised.
I used to be indecisive…
…but now I’m not sure.
A woman drove me to drink . . .
, but a man drove me to murder.
A penny saved…
is a government oversight
To lose one parent, may be regarded as a misfortune;
“…To lose both looks like carelessness.”
“Champagne for my real friends, and…”
real pain for my sham friends.
I’d rather have a full bottle in front of me than…
A full frontal lobotomy.
There are 10 types of people in the world, …
Those who understand binary and those who don’t.
They laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian.
They’re not laughing now.
I once wanted to become an atheist. But I gave up
Thank God.
Time flies like an arrow…
fruit flies like a banana.
We are born naked, wet and hungry…