Wow, looks like I’ve come to this thread a bit late. No matter…
I’m a freshman too. When I was in high school, I was pretty much asocial - no friends. I started making friends junior and senior year, but by then I was headed for college.
I got to college, and I deliberately decided to make an effort. That’s what you need to do: step outside your comfort zone! Don’t shoot down every single option that’s open to you: clubs want new members, regardless of whether you missed the club fair!
There’s a million other freshman who are just as nervous as you - sure, they’re in cliques now, but how do you suppose they got there? By making an effort to meet new people!
Try clubs. Try getting to class early, and starting up conversations with people as they come in. Go up to somebody sitting alone in the cafeteria, and say “Can I sit here?”
But your attitude is a really important part of it.
ok i finally got in the mood to make a post after reading about this.
I’m a soph. at college and i had some trouble meeting people my first few weeks. Being an athlete dioes help me but i did my share of the work to meet new people outside the team. First to respond to your friend problem. The college clubs are a great way to meet people but i can offer some advice on meeting people by staying in your room. Last year I meet almost everyone on my floor in the dorm by keeping the door open and playing my xbox. Something about video games that attracts people in. Invite them to play a game if they say hi. (If you own an original nintendo bring it in…there was not enough space for everyone to stand in the room when i was playing mario) If this works to bring at least one person to peak in, please start a conversation with them.
Now about the girls. I would like to have a gf but it takes time. Those people you see not trying and finding someone, Hint: 9 out of 10 times they are not together in a month. be open to conversations no matter what they are about. You say your shy so a good idea might be the library. Walk down the aisles and if you see someone looking for a book offer to help find it. This could open way to talking about other books and authors and from there you can move the talking to what you want.
Can’t emphasise enough how taking up dancing will help make you more attractive to girls.
So long as you’re in it to improve yourself and not to ‘pick up’ a girl or whatever, then it’s one of the best things you could do in order to meet people. Take up partner dancing and girls will want to dance with you simply cos they don’t want to dance with another girl! Then you’re starting off your relationship with a bit of physical contact, you can’t ask for more than that.
“Friends first or date first” is a completely pointless question.
Was exactly do you think a date is? It is one method to meet and make friends with someone of the opposite sex. (Or, occasionally, the same sex, depending on what floats your boat.) Perhaps at the end of the next service project you go up to a person that you have met that day and say, “Gosh that was fun unclogging all the toilets in our state park. But now I’m really hungry. Wanna go get a sandwich with me?” Is this a date? A friend? How can you tell? What difference does it make? You will not be expected to make out OR dance the Mambo at Subway. You cannot be rejected because you are not asking her out on a “date”. But it lets you meet someone new a just a little better.
The only way for a single male to increase odds of a girlfriend is to increase your circle of friends. Nothing else you do will have any affect. There is no magic trick. There is no secret method. Work at it? Bah. Waste of time. If you consider making new friends to be “work”, then you are in for some problems in the world.
Cold hard facts… many perfectly nice people DO end up still single at 30. Many perfect morons get married three time by then. You are only 18 or 19. Make friends, study, pick up a vice of your choice. Unlike high school, new people show up all the time at college. And if you remain dateless all through college? Too bad. Life is like that. Don’t worry about it, since there is nothing that you can do about it. Just enjoy doing stuff with the friends that you have made.
But you can’t be a larger geek than I was (although engineering rather than comp sci), and even I ended up with a girlfriend. Took a few years and wild whims of chance though.