Testimonial: I have a adopted a gay and it is one of the most fulfilling aspects of my life!
It all started out when I started fostering gays who needed a good loving home. I’d keep a gay for months at a time before it would find a new home. This one I just couldn’t help but keep.
She came with a motorcycle, so sometimes I have to let her out to roam free. (I know, I know, letting her roam around on her own makes me an “irresponsbile gay owner”. But she’s always been very independent and it wouldn’t be fair to keep her indoors all the time.) It makes me nervous – in some ways I’d prefer an indoor house-gay – but she is street smart, so I make sure she always has her tags and cellphone before I let her out in case she gets lost.
Female gays are great! They are much lower maintenance than male gays – they require less hair care products. They never leave the toilet seat up and they get along great with other pets. Especially cats.
Best thing: I can leave her alone for a weekend. Don’t need to hire anyone to look in on her even. As long as she has enough food, water, and DVDs chances are she’ll be right where I left her when I get back from my trip.
I highly encourage responsible people to adopt a gay! If I didn’t have my hands full with this one, I’d glady foster others! As it is, I’m in a two-gay household and three would be awkward.
Oh, pick me, pick me! I want a Gay. I would love him and feed him and squeeze him and let him do my hair.
As a plus, I’m willing to attend musical theatre and already have a fine collection of original cast albums. I’m lacking in Judy, but I have several Bette CDs. I would also help him to develop his cultural skills by taking him to the many fine Shakespeare productions around the area and discussing with him who looked best in tights and what the set designer could possibly have been thinking.
I’m also a fan of old movies, and although I myself am a Kate Hepburn fan, I’d be glad to debate the relative strengths and weaknesses of Betty Davis, Joan Crawford and Rita Hayward, and I am willing to take either side of the “Marilyn–Misunderstood Goddess or Impossible Cow” debate.
I have been around Gays in the past, even going into a Gay bar and attending a Gay street festival (their crafts are sooo good, they have such marvelous hands for fine work) and my sister dated a Gay before he came out. I knew he was special from the moment she brought him home, a high school senior wearing cashmere and reading Keats. He was so precious.
Please send me information on matching me to a Gay. If I get one soon, I’ll have time to buy us season tickets to the ballet! (More men in tights!)
Kallessa, as is usually the case, I reccomend that if you are looking to adopt a gay, that you check out your local shelters, and browse through their selection of gays and lesbians. It’s been estimated that easily 25% of gays and lesbians in shelters are purebred, and since the homosexuals in the shelters come from all over, you are likely to find the perfect homosexual right under your nose.
Matchmaking surveys are great, but the best way to find yourself the perfect gay will always be to see and be around as many gays as possible. Obviously, we reccomend shelter gays, as undertaking the domestication of a feral gay can be quite the task. Gays are complex social creatures, so attempting to take one from it’s natural habitat would prove traumatic not only for the gay, but from the would-be well intentioned adopter.
I wish you luck in finding that perfect homosexual! I have a lovely pair of lesbians myself, and while they are a lot of work (well, one is, the other is very independent in nature) it is very rewarding, and would reccomend gay adoption to anyone.
There are exceptions. I trapped my feral lesbian outside a coffeehouse. I used a box, stick, and string, and baited the trap with an Indigo Girls CD (sensible footwear is another option if you’re looking for a good lesbian lure).
The coolest thing about having a female gay is that I can now go to bars and remain free from unwanted attention from men (which is hard for a woman to do these days). If some strange guy puts his hand on my ass, my lesbian is suddenly right there, growling and snarling with her teeth bared – the guy backs right off!
Most of the time that’s a non-issue though as a prefer to stay at home and snuggle on the couch with my lesbian. I truly feel loved.
I can’t say enough good things about the little bi cutie I picked up. My friends wanted me to get “the real thing” as they put it, but I fell in love as soon as I saw her sashaying around the university. Sure, she’s not a pure-blooded lesbian, but other than her long, curly coiffure you’d never know it. She’s just as good with a Black & Decker cordless drill as a purebred, and she puts up with being dressed up a lot more than some lesbians I’ve had. One of my neighbors complains sometimes because she’s always out in the yard, but she usually stays out of the street and rarely climbs trees. I do have to say, though, that she yowls whenever I play Ani Difranco. Oh, and she bites.
But a word of warning people. Before adopting a Gay, ask yourself if you’re willing to make a lifetime commitment. I’m sure we all remember back in the 70’s, when the disco era made Gays trendy and everyone wanted one. Then the 80’s came along, Reagan got elected, Gays went out of fashion, and thousands ended up getting flushed down toilets. To this day, there are giant albino homosexuals living in the sewers beneath New York City.
I strongly support this program and I think it is a fine thing for people to adopt gays and lesbians into loving homes. I, unfortunately, don’t have that kind of room - I have a one-bedroom apartment, and adopting a gay to live there would send the wrong kind of message, I think. And it’s almost certain a lesbian wouldn’t be happy in that kind of environment. But I’d like to donate to the local no-kill gay shelter (bnd nme!) so they can continue their work in trapping feral gays and lesbians. Would the complete Dixie Chicks oeuvre be out of place?
I hate to contradict you, Little Nemo, but that’s actually an urban legend. I believe Unca Cecil debunked that some time back, but I’m too lazy to search for the link. No, the fact is, back in the Reagan years, many gays were simply abandoned on the streets and many of them ended up in … well, let’s say non-no-kill-shelters. :eek: It was terrible, terrible.
snerk I was just away for five days, and when I got back to my computer, this thread was at the top of MPSIMS. It has fully restored my faith in humanity. Keep at it, good people.
Another related urban legend, is the one involving the introduction of HIV in the early 80’s as a way to both control the populations of free-roaming feral gays in large cities, and to reduce their lifespans to those normally found in other pets. While still believed by some conspiracy minded members of our society, thankfully this urban legend has fallen out of favor.
One other major benefit about shelter gays that has not yet been touched upon, is that all shelter gays, upon being admitted into a shelter, are checked over by veterinarians who are knowledgeable in gays and lesbians, and each and every gay brought in through their doors is brought up to date with his or her inoculations. The only things you need to worry about with shelter gays are the occasional case of pubic lice, so we generally recommend providing a new gay with some sort of lice-killing shampoo before introducing it to any other gays you may have in your household at the time.
Adopting a gay is a lifetime commitment, as most breeds live as long as the average person, with the rare exceptions of breeds like Crystal Queens, which generally have considerably shorter lifespans.
And of course, we don’t recommend giving a gay as a christmas or birthday gift.
Hey, modro, I have a quick question. I have some friends who have gays who are always escaping. They have a tough time tracking them down and when they do finally catch up with them, they smell like they’ve been rolling around in something awful. You know, like potpourri or the like. Anyway, would it make sense for these friends to purchase a gaydar to help them track down their “escapees”?
[QUOTE=Ponder Stibbons]
Hey, modro, I have a quick question. I have some friends who have gays who are always escaping. They have a tough time tracking them down and when they do finally catch up with them, they smell like they’ve been rolling around in something awful. You know, like potpourri or the like. Anyway, would it make sense for these friends to purchase a gaydar to help them track down their “escapees”?[/QUOTE
Gaydar isn’t something that can be purchased, rather it is a finely tuned sense that many gay owners develop after spending a lot of time with their gays. Since gays look so utterly human, and as such many people spend time with their gay much as they would another person, a sense of gaydar helps one spot the more tricky breeds, like the Northern Straight Acting Queer.
As for gays prone to escape, I would recommend either getting your gay microchipped, or investing in something like an Invisible Fence. Some breeds, like the Leather Gay will adapt to (or even look forward to) wearing that kind of collar, while some other breeds will be harder to deal with.
Be warned though, gays are surprisingly intelligent, so expect a determined gay to foil even the most well thought out enclosure.
I guess if people aren’t going to let those gays come out, eventually they’re just going to BUST OUT on their own! (ROTFLMAO)
BTW, still patiently awaiting my interview. Do you have an application for me to fill out? I went ahead and bought sushi-making equipment, and I joined a salon for monthly grooming for both me and my gay in anticipation of finding a cute little gay of my own to cherish, and go shopping with. Maybe he can give me some tips on what to do with my hair when he gets here. I hope it doesn’t scare him, the poor thing.