I like lesbians. Not, you know, sexually. My problem is that I can’t stand most straight men, gay men generally don’t seem to have the time of day for me if I’m not gay, and straight women are, well, there’s that sex thing. Lesbians, I can feel comfortable with. There’s no real sexual tension, and we’ve got plenty in common. Give me lesbians any day. Fill society with lesbians, and I’ll sing the praises of the motherland!
I understand that some people are adopting gays solely for the purpose of getting them on television. This is totally unacceptable. While TV right now might be full of gays, the tide will turn and then you will be stuck for the rest of your life with a gay that isn’t earning lots of money and can’t find a job. This is unfair to both you and your gay.
Check out godhatesgayadopters.com
Question: I have a swimming pool in my backyard. If I wanted to adopt a gay, would I have to take any special precautions, such as putting a fence around the pool itself, or would my gay pretty much stay away from the pool? I mean, I don’t want to bring one home and then have the poor thing drown because it doesn’t realize the top isn’t solid.
Also, they don’t chase birds or anything do they? How do I introduce the gay to my dog so they’ll get along? (They aren’t bothered by a lot of dog hair, are they?)
Do you have some sort of book for those of us who are clueless, like Gays for Dummies or something?
Be sure to supply plenty of sunscreen and lounge chairs and your gay will be safe around your pool. If you have more than one gay, a pool or hot tub can frequently be one of their favorite mating places.
They most certainly chase some things; but not birds. You have to keep a firm grasp on your gay if a Sugar Daddy is in the vacinity. As for dogs, many, many gays gave an affinity for dogs, especially Pugs and Shih-Tzu, often treating them better than fellows gays. (No, I’m not bitter.) But for the most part, gays get along with almost any breed. I’ve known gays living alongside a wide variety of breeds, including mutts, beagles, Great Dane and Labs.
I’m bi, and recently found another bi through the want ads. He’s much, much more low maintenance than a pure bred. You really can’t tell him from a straight at all. He likes to ride in the truck, likes to play with the tennis ball, can operate a chain saw, and really likes to be petted. He even knows how to go get me a beer out of the refridgerator. My wife likes him, too. She says she loves the way he licks her when he greets her.
I want a gay to help me with my love life.
I’m afraid if you say things like “Betty” Davis and Rita “Hayward” your gay will be scratching at the door to get out.
I’m afraid I’ll have to bail on this one. I didn’t adopt a gay, I lived with one!
Although he pretended not to be, there were serveral signs:
-using those annoying perfume cards in magazines to “freshen” his underwear drawer
-cleaning the burners on the stove obsessively
-having the neatest closet on earth
-going to the hairdresser more than me
Although, from what people tell me, he could be considered “metrosexual” but since I don’t live in NY anymore, I’m still confused.
Oh, no. No, no, no. I’ve got enough problems with keeping the dog from humping things; I’m not going to try to keep a gay from doing it too. Is this a huge problem with them? What about if you get them neutered?
:eek:
I believe’s any attempt to do so will get you biatch-slapped by your gay! 
But now that I think about it…what about Gay Fights?
Like Dog Fights or Chicken Fights?
Throw them in the ring and let them come out swinging!
That gives a whole nother meaning to the phase “cock fight.”
Well, someone had to post it!
As with most shelters, we don’t do internet-based interviews (although you can converse with a rather… interesting… cross-section of your local gay population via the gay.com chat rooms) but I can give you an idea of the kinds of questions that would be asked of you at a shelter.
How easy is access to ‘essentials’ for the gay? Access to hair care products, correctly sized mirrors, a supply of moisturizers, and clothing is essential. Adding accessories like cell phones and a Queer As Folk DVD set are optional, but highly reccomended.
How close are you to the local mall? Any gay needs easy access to the local malls, and the bigger, the better. Your gay will need to be walked regularly, and the mall is the perfect place.
With gays being social creatures, and genuinely enjoy spending time with other gays. Many cities have well known “gay areas” that gays and their owners will converge upon, with clubs and nightlife that both you and your gay can enjoy. Be sure to provide protection for your gay though, as even a neutered gay will still enjoy the odd romp with another of his kind, and you don’t want him bringing anything home to your other pets.
What kind of living accomodations will you be able to provide for your gay? A simple crate won’t do, and for a truly good home-life, your gay should have access to a room he can call his own, and accessorize accordingly.
Unlike most other pets, Gays do extremely well in urban environments, and according to many homosexual behaviourists, actually prefer them, so don’t be afraid to tell the people at the shelter that you live in a small apartment right smack dab in the center of the city. In all honesty, they may be happy to hear. Of course things are different depending on breed (with lesbians having different needs) but by answering honestly a gay can be found for any person.
Ever seen women fight?
The leg-humping is bad enough, but when he starts rubbing his rear end on the carpet, meaning it’s time you have to squeeze out the buildup in his anal sacs…
Do you mind if I post this elsewhere?
Geez, modro, you should be more precise with your advice lest there is disaster. Everyone, please note: Do NOT attempt to accessorize the gay’s room yourself. Modro wasn’t clear on that. All furnishing, decorating, accessorizing, and the choices of colour palate should be entirely left to the gay. Male gays can be very territorial in this respect. If you make a mistake it will be met with huffy sighs, eyes rolling in disgust, and possibily open hostility and disdain.
The needs for female gays can be quite different and frighteningly diverse. As mentioned earlier, access to sensible foot wear is a must. If your particular lesbian breed has a flannel appearance, you may find she gravitates towards solid boots (motorcycle boots, workboots, combat boots). Alternatively, you may have a breed that shuns make-up and wears hippy-like clothing, in which case a supply of Birkenstock sandals is highly recommended. However, there are no absolutes in this respect.
Lesbians are often quite active. Before you decide to commit yourself to a lifetime of lesbian care, you need to take into account the active lifestyle. For a lesbian to be happy, your community should have a women’s softball league in the summer and a women’s hockey league in the winter. Some lesbian like bowling or curling (“curling” is a bowling-like sport that is played on ice – if you are not in Canada, there is no need to wory about it). If you see “hockey hair” do not be afraid.
Your community should also have a coffeehouse where folk music is played. Your CD collection should include CDs by the Indigo Girls, Ani DiFranco, Melissa Etheridge, Lorna Vallings, Catie Curtis, and Ember Swift. It does not matter if you do not know who these artists are. Your video and DVD library should include “Better Than Chocolate”, “The Incredibly True Adventures of Two Girls in Love”, “Personal Best” and “Go Fish” (even though “Go Fish” kinda sucks). It does not matter if you’ve never heard of these movies.
Some female gays like motorcycles and power tools. Do not invest in crappy power tools, only quality industrial tools will do. You will find female gays to be more mechanically inclined than male gays. Do NOT be frightened if you see a lesbian weilding a hammer or power saw. DO be afraid if you see a lesbian fiddling with the espresso machine.
I should note that different gays have different behavioural needs.
Some gays - maybe even most - love to decorate their habitat. Others, however, will make do with the cheapest of materials - some wood shavings, simple gravel, or even Ikea.
But don’t worry if your gay doesn’t show a strong tendency to ‘decorate.’ These ‘moggies’ are hardier and tolerate a wider range of lifestyle than more demanding gays, and they often compensate by being the most affectionate and attentive.
Okay, I am going to try to make this short, but my mom and I are having an argument about this. I almost started my own thread, but once I saw this one, I knew that this was the place to ask my question.
We live out in rural Ohio, and I think that it would be cruel to keep a gay in this sort of environment. She says that the gay will adapt, and besides, she wants an inside gay. I was glad to see the post about shopping malls, because I told her that ours was not big enough to support a gay, but she insists that he will adapt. We had a gay when I was a child (a lovely one, really. He was an older gay, and about the nicest and sweetest guy ever), but he ran away. I saw that this is just proof that a gay cannot be happy out here–we simply do not have the facilities. She says that we know more now about the care of a gay now and we could make him happy. This is driving us both nuts.
Who is right here? Can we come to an agreement? Thanks in advance from all the experts out there.
My, I had failed to realize how unclear I was. Under no circumstances should the new owner attempt to decorate the new gay’s living quarters. A large portion of male gays enjoy expressing their creativity (and rather creative they are) by working to change their surroundings to reflect themselves.
Hence giving your new gay a ‘place of their own.’
I’ve even known a few gays that would go for days without shaving, work on cars, had absolutely no fashion sense, and could occasionally be seen wearing a bad haircut.
Rather strange creatures, they are, in fact they almost came across like real men.