Once again, this is entirely dependent on your gay. Generally speaking younger gays, (bois) need the kinds of social interaction that only can be had in a larger city area, where your gay can have contact with other gays, which is a major part of his maturation. As such, younger gays tend to have a had time adapting to a rural environment, unless your area has a high number of gays within.
Living in a rural setting, I would reccomend that you go with an older, more mature gay (maybe even two of them!) or even a more earthy breed of lesbian, which can thrive in areas that would kill a younger gay.
See, I’d love to adopt a gay for myself, but I just don’t think this environment would be the best for one. I live in a big enough space, and my husband has met quite a few that he thinks are adorable as well, so he’d be fine with having one around (if a bit confused when they call him a “bear”, but that’s another matter), but I’d have to put a lot of effort into finding one who’d be happy here. We live in a pretty stodgy suburb, and it seems like the people around here who have gays in their house keep that under wraps. I really don’t see why having a gay is such a bad thing, but I guess some people think that they carry diseases and such. Anyway, we’re way out in the suburbs of Chicago, far from environments more structured to their needs, and I’d just feel bad keeping a more social gay out away from where some of his playmates might be. I guess I wouldn’t feel bad taking him on the train when I go to and from work, to drop him off to play during the day, but I’d be nervous about when he’d want to be let out at night. He might run off downtown, and I’d be worried sick that he’d been hurt or something.
Do you think a lesbian might be a better fit? We do have some power tools - though I understand most lesbians prefer to gather their own tools - and a nice-sized garage and basement for space that one could set up as a workshop space. The problem is, I age some homebrew in the basement and I’d be worried that one would get into it.
Have you checked the breed standard for lesbians, Ferret Herder? You really need to find a good groomer to get the mullet just the right length. Too long or too short and you’ve got one silly looking lesbian.
Rather than a “bear” you may wish to start out with a “twink”. Less body hair to shed, but you must be certain that you have good nightclubs with dance beat music (the environment where twinks thrive).
Well, no worries. Lesbians are not men for Petra’s sake! They do not get rowdy while watching football and dip in to other people’s beer and refrigerators (they might get rowdy watching women’s hockey, but that is rarely televised and may be a non-issue). While it is true that many female gay social events revolve around food, they are generally respectful of property that is not their own. While a lesbian in your home would covet your beer, she would ask before indulging.
If a lesbian manages to watch a women’s hockey game on TV and gets too rowdy, give her a Jeanette Winterson book and she’ll calm right down and read quietly on the couch.
Though it is not general knowledge, female gays are actually a diverse breed. The mullet is a standard that is more common to “butches” or “bulls” of the U.S. and is also closely related to “hockey hair.”
There are also “femmes”, “lipstick lesbians”, “lugs” (acronym for “lesbians until graduation”), “crunchies” (a.k.a “the granola dykes”) all of which come with unique grooming standards.
Femmes are virtually indistinguishable from the heterosexual woman. They wear skirts, have long hair, and are “dainty”. They may be identified by their choice of tasteful but sensible foot wear. Despite a very heterosexual appearance they tend to be adamant and outspoken about their identities so they will not be mistake for the heterosexual female they so strongly resemble.
Lipstick lebians are similar to femmes but have a style standard known as “radical-chic”. They often have a more corporate appearance during the day and for clubbing will be more flamboyant choosing high quality fashions, designer sunglasses, and possibly an accent of leather. Like the gay male “twinks” their choices of fashion may strain the budget of the adoptive household.
Crunchies (a.k.a. granola dykes) harken back to the 1960s hippies. They are often vegetarian, sometimes pagan, and like cats.
Lugs are difficult to adopt. They experiment with homosexuality while at college, but when they graduate may retreat back into the closet or determine they are not in fact gay and never were. Should you adopt a lug, be advised that you may one day be housing a heterosexual woman. This is very disappointing for many adoptive households and many lugs end up back at the lug pound.
Thanks for the grooming info, plnnr and Eats_Crayons. Fortunately my suburb has a ton of places I could take her to, including plain old “barber shops” should those stylists get too cutesy with their hair ideas. I think it’s awful to inflict those horrible overdone 'dos without regard for what the lesbian might want; the lesbian looks so unhappy, and usually wastes no time in getting her hair back to something acceptable.
Ah, see, it’s my husband who seems to be called a “bear” by the gays he’s met. He thinks it’s cute, but I frankly don’t see where they get the term, just because he’s tall, broad-shouldered, has some extra padding, furry-chested, and gets a 5 o’clock shadow at noon… shrug
Anyway, it’s the nightclub situation that concerns me; the good ones are all downtown and I’m worried the poor little fella would miss his friends and try to get down there when I let him out at night. It’s a long trip and Chicago can get scary at night.
Oh, that’s good to hear. I could also handle a variety of dietary needs, including ones that shun meat. I’m trying to think about what else would be needed - I have some classic Indigo Girls CDs so that’s a start. Lots of sports channels on cable, so for all I know they do televise women’s hockey. I would probably get along best with one of the crunchy types, though she might have to interact with the cat from the apartment from upstairs; I only have ferrets. Most of the others would be fine as well - though both the femmes and lipstick lesbians would require a lot more upkeep than I’m used to even doing for myself - but I’ve heard you can get a rare type that does not socialize well with men and can even become hostile. I would have to bring my husband along to the shelter as well to determine which gay or lesbian would like us both and be best suited for our environment.
We’ve taken care of a pair of lesbians over a few long weekends before, and managed to at least keep them happy with cable TV, a variety of food (one shunned meat entirely while one loved it - at least I’m used to cooking in a similar fashion for my husband and I), beer and white wine, and some outings in the city. It was interesting to observe the differences in personality between those two, even though they were apparently inseperable. I can see how picking out your very own gay or lesbian can be complicated.
That would be a “bull.” The grooming manual indicates that their hair is to be cropped short (in the warms seasons you may shave it off completely) and tattos are acceptable. However, you are correct in that some (but not all) bulls display a hostility towards men. This is not to be taken personally. Bulls are accustomed to being the alpha leader and aggressively establish their territory, and seek to protect other women from the threat of heterosexual male influences.
They are actually warm and loving, but are best suited to an all-female adoptive household, that has beer and black coffee.
Despite the aggressive posturing, they can still be lulled to sleep with folk music.
Ohmigod! See, this is exactly why I need a gay–someone to proofread for me so I can avoid such shameful lapses!
To make amends, I’ll watch a Bette Davis movie and a Rita Hayworth movie this weekend–should I add one of Frances Farmer’s films, or would Barbara Stanwyck be more appropriate?
[sub] a for-pets auction I saw yesterday reminded me of this thread [/sub]
modro, I’d like to help, but at the moment I don’t have the room for a full grown gay. I was curious, do you need help walking the gays at the shelter? I’d love to volunteer to get them out for some activity at the mall. Actually, I hate clothes stores, so maybe I should stick to walking lower matience gays.
Anyway, two friends and I used to walk a pair of bi’s in college, and it was great for all of us, fun and good for our health both. If you need a gay walker, I’ll be the first to sign up.
Be warned that the female of this species (you may have to turn your gay upside down to be physically certain) tends to mate quite quickly and often for life. That said, if you don’t have room for two, you might want to opt for the male variety.
Do any of you watch ‘Queer Eye for the straight guy’ - a gay adoption programme where they show off their special skills to the public. It’s coming to the UK soon, and a picture of the UK adoption hopefuls is being shown on ads. I was stunned to find that they don’t look nearly as cute as their US counterparts - but maybe they have great personalities. I would like to adopt one with decorating skills - and unfortunately Patrick Stewart [despite his performance in ‘Jeffrey’] isn’t elegible - I’d adopt him any day.
Something everyone should be aware of before they adopt a gay of the male variety. Some of them like to invite friends over. Most of them will invite only one at a time, or on rare occasions, two. But there are certain gays who will invite entire packs over for grooming and socializing purposes. These “puppy piles” as they are often called, are generally harmless, though they can surprise the home owner if they are not prepared for them. Sometimes these “piles” can go on for quite some time. In this case, is it recommended that the owner of the gay use a garden hose to enforce certain sanitary standards.
