Ikea did a really funny take on this. I’ll see if I can find the video. I think this is it. (I can’t watch videos at work but I can search for them - the vid just doesn’t run.)
There’s one that’s obviously a failure because I can’t even remember the product, just that a woman closes a fake-wood cupboard, and the door next to her has a face on it that starts talking to her. It’s just very creepy.
I just youtubed it. It’s a bit skeevey. The movements of the horse-stool thing…the music…it feels very odd. Definitely a Japanese commercial. Does the stool really help you exercise, anyway? Or is it just a very dressed up sex toy?
Is that the iGallop? I always thought it looked like the Sybian to me.
There is one that is advertising some constipation reliever. A guy is standing at a construction site praising the product, but they work the camera so it looks like bricks, steel girders, logs, etc are coming out of his ass. I thought it was a gag commercial the first time I saw it.
And don’t get me started on “Viva Viagra”. My eyes won’t roll far enough to do it justice :rolleyes: .
I’ll give a 2 to the new McDonald’s commercials, which are trying to lure the “suddenly important” Latino population. Every word spoken, every nuance, every second of these things just screams some clueless (and VERY gringo) adman’s idea of what might appeal to Latinos, but instead just comes across as false, pandering, and silly.
I love “Viva Viagra” - The guys are laughing as they sing.
I HATE. Repeat: HATE the AT&T commercial for bundled services when a variety of obnoxious kids call their parent’s choices for internet, phone and wireless services lame, and decide to go “to the Wilson’s” until they change providers.
Non-bill-paying members of my family have zero choice in what services are available.
“Oh yeah, she’s menstrual!”
I hate commercials that make it look like Sex in the City-reject women candidly talk about things like chunky menstruation and constipation in bubbly, giggly ways. “She’s menstrual!” is the worst, but that recent yogurt commercial with uppity yuppie women giggling and joking with each other about how much they shit is almost as bad.
Also, I can’t stand the Rheumatoid Arthritis commercial with the mawkish, wailing adult contemporary song that says, “I’m not ready yet…but I WILL BE!!!”, as the commercial implies that you’re some sort of fearful pussy if you don’t use their medicine, all while listing side effects like (no exaggeration) “sudden death” and “lymphoma.”
It’s for some termite service (I think it’s Orkin); the face(s) (there are others) is telling her it has termites.
My house told me to clean it over the weekend – I didn’t listen.
Quite often movie sequels get worse and worse, especially if they are not part of a coherent story. Most ad campaigns stay of constant quality - except Axe Shower Gel. The first commercials in this series were almost fun- especially the guy who kept accumulating women - and a horse. I thought the ad with the couple rolling down a mountain and causing a truck to leave the road and crash off a cliff into the water (with no fiery explosion 
) was the worst. Now we have the chicka-chicka-wow series where not very attactive women assault a loser in inappropriate situations. 3.5 - not a 4 only because my TV is too expensive to shoot.
Ever notice how none of the guys wearing this stuff never have girlfriends? Perhaps the women get attracted, talk to them, and then run from the loserdom of anyone buying the stuff.
Yeah, I remember those pieces of shit ads from when I lived in the Capital Region. I have a love/hate relationship with the Resnick Mattress Outlet ads, though. One of my friends in college made his senior capstone project a documentary of Justin Resnick and his mattress chain.
The one of these that drives me nuts (even more than the others) is the one where the woman’s broom is “on trial” and her lawyer dramatically asks her, “Can you point to the defendant?”
Well, duh, yes, the defendant is the one sitting in the defendant’s chair. How does that proof guilt?
I’ve seen a place where that actually happens: the diners on campus at Local University. I get in line with my soda/sushi/what have you behind a whole bunch of people with meal plans. Said people move briskly through the line, swiping their ID cards and going about their days. I get up to the cashier. I hand him/her/it a debit card or cash. Large cracks appear in the surface of the earth. Satan ascends. Angels flee in terror.
And yes it is because the cashiers can’t make change. Or have a personality.
Actually, what they say is YUUGE! Apparently no one told them that if you want people in western New York to trust you, you shouldn’t exaggerate your downstate accent.
I think that’s for people who take the change from their purchases and keep it in a jar somewhere, and save it up for year. I used to do that myself, though I wasn’t so enamored of the idea that I wouldn’t use a debit card over it.
The ones that I’ve come to hate are for the mattresses. The first one was okay: the sales man explains about the mattress, and multiplies and generally acts weird, the woman wakes up and realizes it was a dream. See that’s what dreams are like. Now they’ve got the one where the woman is getting rubbed down by some sort of gorgeous man loveslave (do you really want to be having that dream in a furniture store?), and the dork who gets a raise and his boss’s office (that one should be an ad for monster.com). Just a 2, but through repitition, they’ve definitely got a bullet.
God, I hate that commercial. Hate, hate, hate, HATE it. It’s not just that the “doctor” has memorized all the specific side-effects of one particular birth control drug. It’s not just that the drug in question probably wasn’t even on the market when she was attending her fictional medical school. It’s not just that her friends accept her bizarre little speech as normal, and even see it as demonstrating medical expertise (“Wow, you really know your stuff!”) as opposed to, say, the ability to memorize a warning label. It’s not just the smug way she says “I didn’t go to medical school for nothing!” It’s the whole damn thing. It’s so insultingly fake it makes my skin crawl. Who was the genius who said “How can we make our disclaimers more interesting? I know, what if we had them delivered by a cocky fake doctor!”
Seriously, I hate this commercial to an unhealthy degree. My wife has to change the channel every time it comes on to prevent me from going into rant mode.
What’s worse about that commercial is that it isn’t even for a stool softener or laxative.
It’s a commercial for fucking All-Bran cereal. Yeah, we all know what bran does, but geez. I’ve been telling people to look out for that one.
Some of my most hated have been mentioned, but there are two or three 4+ ads that haven’t been mentioned…
First, the “Extendz” fake dick enhancer pills. At least Enzyte doesn’t claim to be real. They have a fake doctor, ugly blonde encouraging the insecure men to buy this crap, and faux interviews with dudes on the street that are now wrapping their schlongs around their legs, thanks to the great Extendz pills. It looks so bootleg and second rate. Who gets into this business? Is it a sustainable business model? Are there guys out there with such teensy todgers who are so stupid and have money that this actually works?!?
Next, the “Girls Gone Wild” with “Reality Stars.” Basically some losers whose 15 minutes of fame from The Real World or Road Rules ask America’s future mothers to flash us their tits. The concept is annoying in itself, but the stupid assed steel drum music in the background makes me want to MURDER. Why are these ads still on the air? Didn’t the owner of the company go to jail, anyway?
I should really go to bed earlier/stop watching TV. I’ll live longer.
Enzyte Bob has been a 4 since the very first. I have never needed to punch someone in their smug litte face as desperately as when Bob goads me into breaking my knuckles on the screen each and every time. Where’s Lorena Bobbit when you need her?
I’m with LouisB’s rating of the “gellin’” commercials at 22. And with Taters on the shouters out there. Die, die, die, DIE!
And the 41,432,512’nd replay of the same Alltel commercial that hour fits in there near the worst somewhere.
But I refuse to acknowledge the existence of the Geico Gekko. Nope. Doesn’t happen. It’s a myth. The screen just turns gray or invisible or something. La, la, la. Pay no attention. How can you give non-existent commercials a rating?
There’s a commercial on the radio here, might even be national since I tend to hear in on the local ESPN affiliate, for Coke Zero that makes me so angry I want to punch the radio. Basically it’s just dialog between a waitress and the biggest cocksucker of a customer in the history of the world. The guy asks for a Coke Zero and the waitress says “Would a Pepsi be ok?” The guy goes on, in the snottiest voice ever, asking if it would be ok if he paid in yen, etc, to which the waitress replies that no, they don’t accept yen, to which the cocksucker replies something along the lines of “Exactly. You don’t accept yen, and I don’t accept anything but the absolutely perfect taste of Coke Zero”.
The ad ends with the waitress asking if this is going to affect her tip and the guy saying “No……not if you get me a Coke Zero.”
Anyone who would behave in a similar manner in a restaurant, especially because they don’t carry the latest cola variation of the week, should have his face stuck in the deep fryer for at least 10 seconds. This rates a full blown 4 for me.
Well, no, the reason (I figured) it was thought OK is because the human-like creatures are sexily dressed women. Because, you see, men who drink X-brand beer are hunting women–it’s all a horrible, horrible metaphor. Man=butterfly catcher, women = butterflies, to be caught and pinned down in a display case. What bothers me the most about this commercial is that the women aren’t even pretending to be cute and bubbly. They are screaming and writhing in pain as the guy jabs straight pins into them.
I’ve seen some misogynistic commercials before, but this one actually seems to endorse the idea that we’re not even human and our feelings don’t matter. Creepy as fuck.