I do use Oxyclean and am generally impressed by it. I just hate the commercials.
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They’re talking about the sodas, waters and sports drinks they’ve tried to get the kids to drink, but wording it so it sounds like they’re talking about men (until the one woman says “We’re not talking about men” to no one in particular).
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It’s orbtastic! Presumably, some research was done that found the smaller size and round shape of the bottles made it easier for kids to hold, more attractive to them, and more likely that they would self-select to drink bottled water.
The KFC commercial with the guys talking about chicken being a mans chicken and the little girl comes up and grabs a piece. Overall it is just stupid but the crunch sound when they bite into it makes my stomach turn. If I ever bit into chicken and it sounded like that, projectile vomit would ensue.
There needs to be a rating higher than 4. Mercifully, Fudgeums appears to be dead.
The Charmin bears in general, and specifically anything where they show a drawing of a hand to show how much “moisture” the other brand lets through. -3
Pepto-Bismol - 25. Words cannot express my dismay, to the point that I will no longer buy that product, and I always used to keep it on hand.
Yaz birth control pills where the “doctor” spouts off the package insert information at a party. -2
I saw this one! While I’m as big a fan of advertising campaigns inspired by 1970’s Austrian Performance Art as the next guy, I’m pretty sure the old man in the udder-cups is David Groh, who played Valerie Harper’s boyfriend on “Rhoda.” A thirty-year career from the tough Jewish guy who was cast when they couldn’t get Roy Schneider, to an old man with his tits being sucked in a barn. My condolences.
Yes, it is David Groh and that makes me even more verklemt. I cannot say why why Rhoda’s husband would do this but it pains me. Why, Joe, why?. Please tell me they held your daughters in that kidnap syndrome.
There’s the series of cell phone commercials where the reception cuts out and leads to one party misintrepreting the silence. for the most part they’re harmless filler but there’s one where a daughter is in Vegas with her boyfriend and calls her mother “Hi Mom, we’re in Vegas!” The mother says “Don’t get married!” and we get the silence leading the mother to think that her daughter is planning on getting married and hissing “Don’t make the same mistake I did!”
I always think “Haha! It’s funny because your mom’s trapped in a loveless marriage!”
that American Express commercial with Martin Scorcese and Ellen Degeneres was what made me finally pull the plug on my cable for good. The damn commercial that tries to sound like a PSA, and then some kid talks about saving a lake and Ellen gets into this rant about her bathing suit catching on fire. I swear I saw that commercial every 10 minutes for a month, and this comes from a totally dedicated tivo FFer.
From this point forward in my life, I am 100% TV-free (and therefore 100% commercial free too), and will only catch up on my shows through DVDs and tv-rips. You can thank Amex and Ellen for that.
We’ve been TV-free for about 2 years now. We use the television for DVDs and video games, but no actual television programs. It’s awesome.
When I was in Mexico, there was this awful beer commercial I kept seeing that disturbed the hell out me. It shows a guy sitting in a darkened room grinning manaically. The text says something like, ‘‘Everybody’s hunting something.’’
Then you see him pick up what is basically a tiny half-naked woman with butterfly wings, and drive a straight pin through her stomach, affixing her to a display case full of a bunch of other butterfly-winged hot chicks who are squirming and screaming in pain.
Then it ends, ‘‘What are you hunting?’’
Creepy as fuck. I can’t remember if it was for Sol or Estrella. I give it like a 10,000,000.
Once again, beaten to the punch! I HATE these F’n commercials. Not only do they imply cash is SO uncool, but the people using it are clods! It’s not just cash, it’s loose change in unknown pockets and the like. Reeaally annoying.
I second (third?) the Head On one and the Billy Mays crap. Stop freakin’ screaming at us you idiot!
The ones for the local cable company, Suddenlink, rate a 5^1000 for the song alone (“Suddenlink! clap clap Get Connected!”). At first I was able to keep the urge to kill down by changing “connected” to “molested/infected/congested” and other rhyming words. Now I want to go to the local cable company and do Very Bad Things to the people there.
And now it’s stuck in my head. I hate life again.
That one’s about as disturbing as the one where the short guy in a Little Lord Fauntleroy costume sings a song about loving berries and cream skittles. - 3
I’m not going to say that it’s a GOOD commercial by any stretch, but I have to say that it’s nice to see that somebody at the ad agency said, “Hey, do you ever wonder why the people in these commercials possess such incredibly detailed knowledge of the product for no apparent reason? Do you think maybe we should make the person talking about the product a doctor or a med student or something like that?” I like to see a little effort.
The locally produced commecials are, IMHO, even worse than the nationally aired dreck.
There’s a car dealership here that seems to only buy air time for between 7:30 and 9:00 a.m. on Saturday and Sunday. The audio is also screwed up so the whole commercial is even louder than it would normally be (obnoxious enough).
There I am, watching the local news, when I’m blasted with
PENCE FORD IN POWHATAN IS HAVING A SALE! COME ON DOWN! BLAH BLAH BLAH
Except imagine it being said by Cletus the Slack-jawed Yokel, at skull splitting volume, at 7:30 a.m.
I figured out it was “Aqua Pod.”
aktep, I basically know all of this (thanks, nonetheless), but I listed this one because, the way the woman with the last line says the lines, it thows me off from the trick I knew they were pulling with the dialogue (talking about water, not men). The line reading is so off, I’m wondering whether she actually said something else entirely.
I also know what they’re saying about the container shape, but unless the kid is actually seeking plain water over a sweetened drink, the shape is not going to help (at least once they figure out that cool “pod” contains a sucky beverage).
Those J. G. Wentworth ones with that old guy are at least a 3. He comes on all grandfatherly and all and I’m sure there are some suckers out there who fall for the trap. Personally I can’t stand that gravelly voice…
Many of Jello’s current ads start out seemingly normal, until they show the logo at the end…it features writhing people on their sides, folded in various ways to form the Jello logo. Nasty. -4
There’s a commercial that seems to run a lot on the local channels (Fox in particular) that features children saying “tick” over and over. I honestly don’t know what this one’s about, I’ve never been able to sit through it. -4
Some insurance company is running one right now that features a mother driving her two kids in an SUV. The kids keep saying things like “This is a comb! A what? A comb!” It makes no sense. Then the woman’s SUV (it’s clearly a Ford, if that matters) hits a pothole and falls apart. -3
Any commercial where people have a conversation with an inanimate object as if they were firing it, breaking up with it, sending it away into shameful exile, etc. Which is always given to us in a reveal as if you’re going to be surprised that the target of the “You just don’t do it for me anymore” speech is a roll of paper towels.
I don’t have cable either, but I was over someone’s house this weekend.
I agree with the orange wigs. Don’t know what that’s all about.
I hate all tampon/maxi pad commercials. And diaper commercials. NO!
The one that’s a 4 for me is the Fucillo car commercials. They’re horribly shot, supposedly to add authenticity. These two obnoxious guys get on the screen and keep saying HUGE! WE HAVE HUGE DEALS! And they talk really fast and they look stupid. And yet people love these idiots.
olivesmarch4th, I saw that one, too. It doubly disturbed me because I read a lot of fantasy stuff & play d&D and that’s a recurring theme - how humans are so callous to these creatures. I know it’s silly to get upset but I just think it shows immense cruelty. And the really pathetic thing is it would never fly if he was pinning, say, puppies to the board. But it’s a human-like thing so someone thought it would be OK?
And I fucking HATE the Verizon “Do you hear me now”? commercials! GAW! People around here think it’s funny as hell.