Armor of God: Has all the powers of God, but can only use them according to His Will. And God’s will involves killing him.
Antibiotiko: Sends out a ray that brings instant death to all bacteria and microorganisms within ten feet! Any supervillian who messes with him is utterly DOOMED to come down with a mild, temporary vitamin deficiency for lack of symbiotic intestinal flora! (He should have listened to his mother and become a doctor.)
Stand-Up Guy: Charming enough to wring a chuckle out of the toughest room with Henny Youngman’s worst material! (Unfortunately, criminals are a dour and humorless lot . . .)
The Scream: Can endure near-limitless levels of pain without passing out or dying of shock! The worse it gets, the more he writhes on the ground and whimpers for mercy! The mightiest anesthetics are powerless against his agony!
Doctor Mayjaluk: By staring at the back of your head, can induce a vague sense of unease, causing you to briefly look around! His power works at parties, on subways, and especially when he’s urgently trying NOT to be seen by the goon-guards patrolling the grounds of the Fortress of Evil . . .
Sergeant Rock: The veteran NCO who can turn himself into a rock! For up to 24 hours! During this period he is immobile, mindless, and defenseless against any superbaddy with a cold chisel. Still has the scars on his back from the time Doctor Chucklelicious sold him to a tombstone carver.
Moral Victor: Whenever he gets into a fight, always seems to be in the right of it! This brings him great solace while he recovers in traction.
D’Oh! Boy: Homer Simpson’s crimefighting alter ego! Powers include stupidity, sloth, gluttony, and a kind of dumb luck that somehow always gets him through the episode without getting killed.
Homo flatulens: Farts like you wouldn’t believe! Professor X has determined he represents the next stage in hominid evolution: His descendants will fly through the air propelled by organic rectojets, and overcome their enemies with noxious gases! At this stage of evolution, however, all he can do is make embarassing noises and stink up the room.
I’m surprised nobody has yet mentioned Particle Man, Triangle Man, Universe Man, and Person Man (They Might Be Giants).
man-man - doesn’t have any feminine qualities whatsoever.
she-man - has the qualities of both male and fem… uh…forget it
Bookman – can turn the pages of a book – with his mind!
Karaoke man – has the power to play karaoke background music while singing anywhere, without equipment. Least popular superman.
regular-man - Has the power to wake up, brush his teeth, shave, go to work from 5 to 9, come home, have supper, watch TV, and go to sleep.
oops…that should be “works from 9 to 5”
I’ll leave it uo to you guys to come up with these brilliant and crative names.
- Mutant ability to cause an intense orgams in any normal human being.
*Ability to camoflage ones self to the point of invisibility when shy or have feelings of low self esteem.
*Turns into a skinny nerd when angry.
*Makes own dreams come alive (but only when in deep sleep)
*Has the proportionate powers and abilities of a garden slug.
*Has erection of living metal.
*Has teleportation ability once a day and only as far as the eye can see.
*can create low levels of radiation invisible to the human eye.
and my personal favorite
*uncanny ability to see anything they point at, to great detail, night or day.
El Soontadi – He can kill people just by thinking about them. And also he is a raging narcissist.
“*Ability to camoflage ones self to the point of invisibility when shy or have feelings of low self esteem.” – How about Mister Cellophane? (Chicago)
Orgasmo, surely?
How about “Superman”? Or is that one taken?
Awww too predictable. I always wanted to have this “power” but then I realized the drawbacks to this. Too many women (and certain men) would wnat you to touch them. Not necesarily get nekkid and do the wild thing. They just want you to touch them and get them off. Having this power is useless and can lower a guys self esteem. And if a girl had it it would be even worse. as if premature ejaculation wasnt traumatic enuf but to have the guy blame you for it??
ok i digress with these weird fantasies…
Orgasmo!! wit da Wham! BAM! Thank you mam power!!
…hmmmm you know… it kinda sings…
*** Mutant ability to cause an intense orgams in any normal human being.**
Satisfying Andy Licious.
*Ability to camoflage ones self to the point of invisibility when shy or have feelings of low self esteem.
Wall-Flower!
*Turns into a skinny nerd when angry.
Same as item one.
*Makes own dreams come alive (but only when in deep sleep)
Deja Snooze.
*Has the proportionate powers and abilities of a garden slug.
SLIMAN.
*Has erection of living metal.
Steely Dan
*Has teleportation ability once a day and only as far as the eye can see.
Gopher
*can create low levels of radiation invisible to the human eye.
Ultra-Violette and Infra-Redd.
and my personal favorite
***uncanny ability to see anything they point at, to great detail, night or day. **
Man-utiae.
How’d I do?
Moonerspan: Has the ability to cause anyone in the room to utter a Spoonerism.
Pacman: can eat rows of dots while being chased by ghosts.
If that’s not the next stage in evolution, I don’t know what is.
FridgeArt: whenever you run out of magnets to keep stuff on the fridge, he creates more.
Inkman: knows by psychic power if a pen is really out of ink, or if just rubbing it on the paper will get it working again.
Quev: extrasensory powers tell him whenever a real bargain is about to turn up on QVC.
Sgt. Pepper: condiment-toting military music lover who hopes that, whatever show you’re watching, you will enjoy it.
Engelsman: has the uncanny ability to write down anything said by Karl Marx.
Love it!
Maybe if I spelled it correctly and included a link, it would make more sense: Orgazmo. Another fine, fine film from the makers of South Park.
Correcto: a strange mutation caused his blood to turn into White-Out ™. The tragic drawback is that he cannot write threatening letters in his own blood - although he can fix the spelling errors in someone else’s, of course.
Indaway: stops villains from escaping with his remarkable power to always be in everybody’s way. (Okay, I stole this idea: I actually possess this power.)
Trivanator: can recall any fact ever known - as long as it’s uninteresting.
(Okay, that’s also me.)
The Fixer: can (and will) correct anyone who botches a quotation from a movie, TV show or book.
(Me again…)