Strawman - Able to defeat any theory he proposes
I used to be an avid player of Champions: The Super Hero Role Playing Game. I have a stack of Champions characters over an inch thick which I’ve concocted over the years.
Some of my less-inspired creations included:[ul][li]Ice Cube - He has all the powers of an ice cube. Because he is an ice cube. An evil ice cube! With his evil henchman, Spatula, he faces down his arch-nemeses Rubber Band and Bowling Ball.[/li][li]Levis - A rules maven once commented that 1 DEF armor was the equivalent of wearing 4 pairs of Levis blue jeans at the same time. So, this character wears 200 pairs of Levis at the same time! Sure, this makes gives him 50 DEF armor, but it makes it awfully hard for him to walk.[/li]Offensive Ego Combat Value Woman - Her OECV is 23, so she’ll never miss when she attacks someone with one of her mental powers. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have any mental powers – but if she ever did, whoo boy, watch out![/ul]
Thanks jr8. The link was wikkid funny!
Actually my “Gaydar” post was ripped off an old SNL live script.
:: hangs head in mock shame::
Then there’s Spoiler Man. He …
shoulda used a spoiler, man.
Ten-Eyed Man was pretty funny. But what the hell is “female billiards”?
Continence – He never has to go to the bathroom. Ever.
Superglue – Has the power to stick to any surface, but not to unstick. Has been on a wall in Des Moine, Iowa since 1964.
Gender Bender – Looks good in either a tuxedo or a frock; can use any public restroom.
I think Batman had the same problem. You never saw him go to the bathroom, did you? (Dave Barry wonders if that’s why Batman is always grimacing.)
Explosive Man: Can cause his body to explode in a blast equivalent to ten tons of TNT.
However, he can only do it once.
That meatwad character is actually a character on the cartoon network show “teen hunger force.”
Duh Mindreader: Telepathetic – can read the minds of dumb people.
I Run Man: Can run 30 mph on train tracks.
The Greaser: Can, at will, exude butter from the soles of his feet.
Superfly: Can catch any housefly within three feet of him.
Chat-tel: Can send text to Messenger clients by mindpower alone. No receiving abilities, alas.
Hep-mo-tizer: Can precisely replicate any Keb Mo song.
I would say The Visible Man: can turn his skin translucent at will, but I think that one’s been done.
And leave us not forget Yuda Man! He excels at cheering for athletes.
Mr. Nice Guy - His power naturally makes people like him. Not enough that villans won’t still try to kill him, but they’ll feel kind of bad afterwards.
Sketch - Has the ability to create photo-realistic drawings, but only of things she’s looking at right then.
Mister Fusion - If you put any hydrogen-based compounds into him – beer, banana peels, whatever – he has the power to turn them into an ear-pleasing blend of jazz and rock music.
Actually, sorry to burst your bubble, but it came to me of my own accord. It’s like one of those synchronicity things.
The Sissyfighter - Fights crime with a barrage of slaps
Captain Bigmouth - Unable to keep any secrets
Sgt. Beef Hardrock Killbody - Greatest living male ballet dancer
The Human Zit - Able to pop pimples on enemies from a distance of 14 feet
The Incredible Sulk - Sits in his room, crying softly
Pentasense - Able to discern color by smell, can hear if a penny lands heads up or down from 300 feet away. (note: can only use senses for lame, bar trick type things)
Captain Bigmouth has been done. His real name was the Riddler and he was a pretty big DC Comics villain for batman. Read about him at seanbaby’s website.
Mr. Naughty - Knows if people he meets have had naked pictures taken of themselves.
The Goatee - Has a goatee that can’t be shaven off, plucked, waxed, dyed, or removed in any other manner. People think he’s evil but he’s not. Often seen with Sideburns.
Sir Mix-a-lot - Likes big butts. Cannot lie.
They already made a movie about this guy…
Oops…nForgot the name of the movie.
Soul Vengeance a.k.a. Welcome Home Brother Charles
Unfortunately, that too has been done already.
In the E-Man comic book, they had a villain group called the F-Men, led by Ford Fairmont. The F-Men was, surprise surprise, a parody of the X-Men. One of their characters was Zitpops – the pimples on his face were constantly and uncontrollably popping, with devastating force, and the only thing that could keep them in check was his ruby-begonia face shield. He was expected to lose his power at age 30.
They also had:[ul][li]Clodhoppus, who could turn into organic concrete;[/li][li]Kitty Porn, who walked into walls, and sometimes even walked through them; and[/li]Weasel, who’s the best there is at what he does, but what he does he doesn’t really know. (He also has petulantium fangs that snikt out of his upper gums.)[/ul]
Super-Stretch– Can extend any part of his body as far as he wishes (a la Plasticman, etc.)… but his power doesn’t work in reverse.
Leadfoot– Can accelerate to any speed, but is unable to slow down.