Dating me is fun. You get a _____ and a _____.

A twig, a twin and a twombone.

Twelve and an extra.

(Bakers dozen)

A horrible disease and a painful cure.

A ventilator and some oxygen.

A breathing tube and a prayer.

A hymn and a blessing.

A gift and a surprise.

A year older and joint pain.

A disability permit and a walker.

Another day older and deeper in debt.

-“BB”-

A premium movie channel and nothing to watch.

A tv remote and some dead batteries.

A handful of crackers and a can of squirt cheese.

A face mask and fogged-up glasses.

Fattened up and shaken down

A philosopher and a comedian

You fly and I buy.

A key fob and 101 years.

A ten-year sentence and a presidential pardon.

Red high heels and a catwalk.