Dating me is fun. You get a _____ and a _____.

A pet brush and lots of cat hair.

A 20 and directions out

A side dish of cole slaw and a pickle.

A writer and someone who can’t do more than a minute of strenuous activity without breathing hard.

A real artist and a non-stop kvetcher.

free dinner and the steel resolve never to do it again.

A one-night stand and a promise never to call you.

My phone number and a constant busy signal.

A beer and a steak

A defenestrator and a vexillologist.

A numismatist and a philatelist.

A lover and a fighter.

A septuagenarian and a cat.

A left-hander and a lefty from the Left Coast.

A dinner, a movie, and an introduction to my husband.

Wild sex and utter satisfaction.

Mediocre sex and a card saying it’s better than nothing.

Heartfelt flattery and no regrets.

A box of Levis and a dirty t-shirt.

Winner. (And the username-post combo is just icing on the cake).

Anyway…
…an idiot lesson and an apology.