Dating me is fun. You get a _____ and a _____.

Silence and a laugh out of nowhere.

A bad joke and a runny nose.

A Trekker and a Holmesian.

A traveler and a backpack.

A needle and a thread

An enigma and an enema.

A yes and a no

Two violins, two cellos, a recorder, a keyboard, a pair of castanets, and a wood frog guiro.

A ditz and a genius

A cat and a lot of hair.

A dumb yellow Lab and a happy wag of the tail.

A sneeze and a hankie.

A Coke and a smile

A Pepsi and high blood sugar

A Mountain Dew and a shudder of revulsion.

A full-sugar Coke and a shot of insulin.

A chilled glass of Ohio dark apple cider and a lipsmack of satisfaction.

A partridge and a pear tree.

A loaded pizza and an antacid.

20 minutes and one message.