Dating me is fun. You get a _____ and a _____.

A burn out and a wheelie

A 3D printed armor for Barbies and a whiteboard on which you can draw hair on for Nicolas Cage.*


*these items really exist

A rod and a reel.

A close encounter and an alien.

A close encounter and a Richard III Kind

A screen and a splash.

A bug zapper and one measly dead fly.

A mosquito bite and a vanilla milkshake from McDonalds.

A crash and a black box.

Quiet and a silent movie.

Some mountain climbing and an embarrassing dance by moonlight.

A morsel and a Heimlich maneuver.

A viewing of Cobra Woman and a wish for a hi-res version.

A redemption and some collateral damage.

A too-hot turkey pot pie and a burned mouth.

A Klingon dictionary and a big pot of mashed potatoes.

A lost Big Bang Theory episode and a Wesley Crusher sweater.

A dental appointment and a blocked caller.

A Smilodon skull and three Clovis points.

A human anatomy textbook and a crow