Dating me is fun. You get a _____ and a _____.

A left shoe and a missing right one.

A big kiss and an engraved invitation to Proxima Centauri.

A lei and a lay.

A fantastical flower and a fit of narcolepsy

A really good piece of chocolate cake and a chilled glass of milk.

A barely-edible piece of chocolaty cake and a glass of tepid milk.

lactose intolerance and a greasy hamburger

A grease fire and a handy extinguisher.

A Friday night and a Saturday morning.

An unexplained rash and a stale donut

Donuts in the front yard and a stalemate

Jelly donuts in the front yard and chocolate croissants in the back yard.

A junkyard dawg and a mean Joe Greene

An adorable puppy and a willing manservant who works for free.

A soak in the hot tub and a few dozen rubber duckies.

A rakish beret and a loaf of crusty bread

A hot day and a possibly rainy night.

Survival rations and an oddly misshapen scarf

A cabbage and a savage

A sausage and some sewage.