Dating me is fun. You get a _____ and a _____.

A cello with two broken strings and some sheet music.

A cello with a broken neck and a cheap viola.

A parakeet named Viola and an existential dilemma

A new set of computer speakers and a big tall wish.

A mysterious phonecall and a hastily-arranged meeting down by the docks at midnight

A great orchestra to conduct and a happy birthday.

An orchestrated conspiracy and a happy ending.

A swimsuit that fits you really well and an appreciative whistle.

An order for supplements and a pain patch.

a home-cooked meal and a lap dance

A mosquito bite and premature birthday greeting.

A large green sponge and a copy of Das Kapital.

Diamonds on the soles of her shoes and Stardust memories

A cold beer and a jewelers loupe.

A pair of mismatched socks and a copy of the February 2, 1962 issue of Life magazine.

Dishpan hands and an angry toddler.

A full trash bag and a dirty litter box.

trash talk and a box of chocolates

An awkward pause and then a nominating mini-speech.

A pink sweater and some macho posturing.