A sweaty handshake and one of those “as-seen-on-TV!” gimmicky back braces that are supposed to improve your poster.
An improved poster and an unimproved country road.
An original posture and a half-empty box of cornflakes.
A large empty pot and a refrigerator full of raw ingredients.
A cooking lesson with the ghost of Julia Child and a dozen hungry door-to-door proselytizers.
Jupiter peeking in your bedroom window and Mars knocking on the front door.
A one-year subscription to Babbel and an Italian dictionary.
A one-year-old gerbil and an Italian diction consultant.
A comfy bed and an Italian lover.
An Italian bed and a comfy lover.
An Italian who loves comfy beds and basil plant.
A basal metabolism and a lacerated liver.
A metal sculpture and a live lobster.
A lobster bib and a dish of hot garlic butter.
A crazy crustacean and a mad mollusk.
A crusty loaf of bread and a visit with Madame President.
A friendly Tasing and a long stay in a windowless room.
The sound of ominous music swelling in the background and a scary clown
A mug of iced coffee and a guy named “Zez”.
The most sublime cup of hot chocolate imaginable and a vuvuzela