A private jet poised to take you wherever in the world you’d like to go, and the latest edition of The New York Times.
A Republican convention that I’ll make a point of not watching and an election that can’t come soon enough.
A gnat and a coypu.
A fruit fly and a quokka.
An invisible stoat and a cruise-ship ticket.
An invisible stool and an empty toilet.
A sitz bath and a clean bill of health
A bird bath and a clean kitchen.
A foot massage and a pair of comfy slippers.
A cryptic message and a pair of slippery eels.
a message in a bottle and sand in your shoes
A room of your own and a spare door key.
A banana and a poin-ted stick.
Marshmallows on a stick and a campfire to roast them over.
Corndogs on sticks and popsicles on sticks.
Cornpops and bicycles.
A troubadour and a vengeful gypsy.
Tudor porn and a lovely English garden
A maiden in distress and a man in greater distress.
A table made of distressed wood and a maiden voyage