Dating me is fun. You get a _____ and a _____.

A sharp knife and a bucket of guts

An injured anonymous cat and a good samaritan.

A Spitfire and some incomprehensible RAF banter.

A Japanese maple tree and a happy ending.

An expired packet of yeast and a dog-eared paperback mystery novel.

A tall glass of lemonade and a large raw chicken.

A pineapple pepperoni jalapeño pizza and a 51k IPA

A feline head-bump and a fish-oil capsule.

A ridiculously lush basil plant and a light switch.

A Medicare manual and a landscaping bill.

A cigar and a spittoon.

A gangster’s summons and a conversation pit.

A slow Sunday sunrise and a pot of chicken broth.

An obscure German composer and an impromptu burial.

A Ritz cracker and a blare of trumpets.

A shoebox full of designer sunglasses and a jar of potpourri

A pot of bacon/pierogi/veggie soup and a hanging houseplant.

A Persian rug and a cat trying to barf up a hairball on it

A really nice day and lots of work to do.

laundry detergent and a mime to follow you around everywhere