Dating me is fun. You get a _____ and a _____.

A perfect cup of iced coffee and a day off.

An inhaler and a misdirected summons to appear in traffic court

A sore mouth and a very funny husband.

Cake crumbs and a library card.

A broken alarm clock and a movie extra.

A cheese tray and a book of sudoku puzzles

A happy face emoticon and some poison sumac.

Clean socks and a subscription to Scientific American

An angry Syrian and a loving Iranian.

An indoor flying lesson and an 'oop.

A treasure map and a signed portrait of the Pope.

A pet fly and an unusual carpet

A cold carnival treat and a pair of red suspenders.

A fistful of cash and a wild story to tell.

A crossword puzzle rebus and and old ticket to “All That Jazz”.

A hundredweight of dung and membership in the Book of the Month Club.

A female televangelist and a pile of thank-you notes.

A sturdy table and a slightly stale jar of curry powder

A can of mini ravioli and some dixieland jazz.

A dead parrot and a pointless trip on British Rail.