Normal. Now if they are 45 and have never had a long term commited relationship, then I’d be worried. I don’t give a rats-ass if they actually tied the knot or not 
in fact if they had been married 3 or more times by 45, then that’s when I’d be really concerned.
I’d go there. 
And Belrix, the only thing you can be sure of with over-45 women is that they probably don’t want to (try and) have any (more) kids.
both my sisters are over 40 and never married. Each has been in one LTR (live in) that I know of (neither lasted more than 3 years). From the outside looking in, they are decent looking people, but knowing their personalities, I could see why they might scare off some guys. To answer the OP, I would be leery, but there is nothing to lose by talking to the girl.
I’ll go back and read the rest of the thread later, but I wanted to jump in.
I am in my late 40s (tho I still look like I’m in my late 30s) and never married, no kids. I have no personality flaws (well, none glaring enough to keep men at bay) and I am completely, unavoidably aware of my physical flaws. It is my size that has kept me single all these years. (well, that and the overabundance of asshats in my social circles - I need bigger circles ;))
But if I were to read an ad from a guy in his 40s and still single, I’d be intrigued and I’d give it a shot. It’d be easy enough to tell in the first few minutes of the date if he’s a mama’s boy, or a complete idiot, and if he was neither of those things, there’d probably be a second, perhaps even third or byeond, date.
My wife’s best friend got married at 45. Her problem was that when she was younger she wanted a guy who was already successful. For a long time she dated such a guy, but got dumped when she wanted a commitment. He was smooth - all the women who met him liked him, all the men thought he was a rat. We were right. 
After some years of reflection, she decided to be more reasonable, and met a nice guy, a teacher, who had never married either. They’ve been married for 10 years and seem very happy. So, people do grow.
I’m 39 and have never been married, but have had multiple multi-year relationships. Those around here who have met me can vouch that I’m neither psychotic nor hideous. I am not, however, a particularly mainstream person, and I tend to be shy in social situations where I don’t know most of the people present, which means that a) I HATE HATE HATE “traditional” dating (whatever the hell that means), and b) 99.9% of the guys out there are either going to think I’m some sort of weirdo or otherwise have little to nothing in common with me.
Do I want to get married at some point? In the abstract, yes. Do I want to do it enough that I am willing to overlook serious actual or potential relationship problems, just to check “marriage” off my to-do list, and potentially end up divorced after a couple of years like a number of my friends have done? Or even after 12 years, like my parents did? Hell no - if and when when I do it, I want it to be for keeps, and I want to be really, really sure that both of us feel the same way about marriage, and about each other.
Have I met the right guy yet? Well, the current one seems to be a real keeper, but it’s only been a few months - we’ll see.
45 and never married wouldn’t turn me off, whough I might ber cautious. But then I’d be that cautious with anyone.
I’m over 40 and never married. Personality flaws? Hell yeah–spent 15 years learning about and working on fixing them. Was it in time? Eh… I don’t know. At my age I haven’t a lot of hope anymore.
::shrug:: I’ve never met a divorced person who wasn’t married to the spawn of satan - it is never *their *fault. IOW, no one thinks there is something wrong with them. Not the singles at 45 nor the divorced. It would seem to me that having failed at a marriage is hardly a resume builder for future relationships.
No, I have no problem someone who is single at 45.
Being unmarried wouldn’t even warrant a raised eyebrow. No relationship of some sort, on the other hand, would be something to ask or worry about.
'course, I’m 25 and though I’ve had a few partners, my only relationship lasted just over two months and I was happy when she dumped me so if things continue like they have been, I’m probably going to be 45 and never married myself.
Heh. So true. And somehow it never appears to occur to people that not being able to discern spawn-of-satan BEFORE you marry them might, in and of itself, be a character flaw. 
I wouldn’t say “normal” as in “statistically common” because it isn’t. But I usually assume that a 45 year old woman who has never been married is either very career oriented or unable to maintain a relationship.
The combination of ‘never married’ and ‘45 years old’ itself isn’t a red flag. I plan on getting married myself on the twelfth of never. The combination of ‘never married’, ‘45 years old’, and ‘posting find-a-date ads on the internet’, however, seems like a giant waving scarlet banner to me. While there is nothing wrong with those three things individually, the combination suggests that the person wants to date and get married in the traditional fashion, but that there’s something about them that’s so far prevented it.
Why are people equating “wanting to date” with “wanting to get married”? The two aren’t synonymous.
Chances are the woman in question has had several LTRs that did not lead to marriage. A couple of 5 year or so relationships, interspersed with intervals of not dating and less serious dating or shorter relationships could easily account for someone being single well into her 30’s or 40’s. Nothing sininster about that.
I’d say, good for her for NOT marrying the wrong guy, being divorced from and/or having kids with someone she doesn’t love anymore. It’s so hard to find a single, never married, kidless person past a certain age, I’d think a person would be relieved and psyched to find one, not looking for reasons something must be wrong with her. I mean, is there something wrong with a person who has been divorced or has kids with someone they aren’t with anymore? After all, it indicates that the person made a serious lapse in judgment, marrying the “wrong” person or having a child with the “wrong” person. Sure, someone who has avoided all that might have a major defect, or might just be much more careful about serious, lifelong commitments than most people, and could be a major catch.
A certain percentage of the population is very undesirable physically or has serious emotional issues. All things being equal, I would guess that these people are less likely to get married than everyone else. It follows that as age increases, the percentage of non-married people that is very undesirable in some way will increase.
So to me, I would say that a 45 year old who is never married does have a disproportionately high chance of having some problem like this.
Not everyone wants to get married.
Not everyone who doesn’t want to get married is ugly and/or psycho.
I agree. But if you think about it in mathematical terms, and build those facts into the model, it still seems to confirm the conventional wisdom that “all the best ones are taken.” Or at least “most of the best ones”
Alternatively, one could consider the possibility that all the easy and/or desperate ones are taken.
That’s not necessarily inconsistent with what I’ve been saying. If a woman is marriage-minded, there is a decent chance she will start getting desperate some time in her early 30s. If not sooner.
I just found out about a lady who is 48 and now on her 6th, or maybe 7th, marriage.