Victim mentality.
Mommy issues.
I had a friend from law school who was like that. He was a great guy in every other way. Charismatic, hard working, could ace a law school exam and fix a toilet, chivalrous. But every bad thing that ever happened to him was someone else’s fault. And his mother did a number on him… so I think that deep down, he truly believed that all women were crazy. Such a shame.
Whoa. It wasn’t about letting Elaine know he paid, but that Julie took credit. I mean, hell, it was a big salad. Maybe you should re-watch the episode.
But to answer the OP; polydactyly would be a deal breaker.
One of my biggies is nagging. My grandmother, bless her soul, could not simply tell you to do something ONCE. Even if you jumped up and immediately started on whatever she was on about, she kept going on and on. Often it was something you’d already done, so then she nagged you for not telling her you’d done it, or that she’d had to tell you once before. My grandfather, her husband of 75 years, wrote it off with “Women! What can you do?” but I vowed I’d never deal with that crap.
Ironically, after I left home a recurring theme when nagging my siblings was how she’d never had to nag me to get things done. :rolleyes:
Unless your whooshing me, I’m fairly certain the point was that George was perfectly content in his relationship, possibly for the first time ever, but he went and blew it over a <$10 salad. Julie handed it because she was holding it.
BUT SHE DIDN’T CORRECT ELAINE’S MISUNDERSTANDING!!! Come on, you can’t be serious. You obviously saw the episode, I assume you just misunderstand the complex interplay.
Maybe we should take further discussion to PM.
/hijack
Anybody who chews with their mouth open or who otherwise slurps, smacks, or scarfs their food all the time.
Nope, nope, no, no, no, nope, no.
That precludes any relationship though - you wouldn’t find me in a position where I’d already married someone who slurps and then I divorce them over it.
You’re.
I agree with dba Fred. I assume we are talking about a relationship is already in place and that the couple has worked though the annoyances and habits, but that something new has suddenly occurred that is a dealbreaker.
Like dba Fred, it would have to be emotional or monetary fraud of a significant nature. That is, cheating on me with another person repeatedly and when sober, or stealing money and/or repeatedly frivolously wasting money without some kind of prior approval from me is a dealbreaker. I want to clarify that a one time trip to Las Vegas where she takes out money and blows it and it’s a few hundred dollars would be forgiven. Repeated incidents of this indicating a gambling problem, or a devastating one time loss (like $10,000+) would be pretty unforgivable unless there were really unusual circumstances. Likewise, I might be able to forgive a one time cheating if she was drunk and it was someone we didn’t know.
Agreed. And I would be more able to forgive a one-time infidelity in Vegas than I would “I lost all our money on the horses, honey.”
Someone mentioned this in the other thread - a girlfriend not believing in vaccinations. That would be a dealbreaker for me, even though I don’t want kids. That would indicate a mentality that was simply incompatible with mine.
I’ve fortunately never had a relationship where this was a problem, but a big dealbreaker is making big decisions that significantly affect me without consulting me first. My father did that often to my mother (and to the whole family by extension), and I can’t tolerate that.
Things like giving furniture away to his friends without telling her, buying a new car with his and her joint money without telling her, inviting a guest to stay in our house for 8 weeks (no lie!) without consulting her… If anyone did one of those things to me, the relationship would immediately be over. It’s completely disrespectful.
Now that I think about it…my father has many good qualities, but his flaws are so irritating that I’ve broken off relationships (including friendships) with people who demonstrate the same ones, like:
-World-class nagging
—Nagging you to do something while you’re doing it
-Never wrong, cannot apologize ever (“Well, your foot shouldn’t have been where I could step on it.”)
-Micro-manages you to a ridiculous degree (“You’re stirring the soup wrong.”)
-No praise, only criticism.
—Everything you do is wrong, because only he can do it right. Doesn’t matter if you do it the way he does; you did it, therefore it’s wrong
-Thinks he knows better than you about what you’re experiencing or feeling
—Dismisses all your negative feelings as not really happening
Marriage to a man who treated me like that is my vision of hell.
Deal breakers:
Republicans
Religious nuts
People into alternative medicines/crystals/shit like that
People who don’t read
People who like top 40 music
People who believe everything they hear on Faux Noize
People who are mean to waitstaff and other people who work behind a counter or cash register
Anything more than nominal interest in video or online games
My SO, in response to me being exasperated at him for some egregious carelessness, said this last night (paraphrasing as best I can remember):
“I’m going to die soon, you don’t know what’s going on, I’m going to die.”
He’s 65 and very healthy. He has gone on before about how he’s going to die “next year”, which I recognize as just a way for him not to have to think very much about the future (what if one of us gets sick, what if I die first, and all that stuff).
But this was the first time it was used, even partially in jest, as a guilt trip. This is going to have to stop or it could well drive me away. I just can’t deal with that kind of emotional dishonesty.
Roddy
Dealbreakers:
Smoking
Hunting of any kind (unless its for deals in a flea market)
Republicans or extreme liberals
Constitutionalists and conspiracy theorists
People who are judgmental about what I eat, wear, do, or how I spend my money.
People with weird food habits (“I’m so pure, I only eat humanely raised cabbage and organic toasted green tea!”)
People who are judgmental, temperamental, and have issues with self-entitlement
Anyone who is cruel to children, animals, or the elderly
Nascar, gun nuts, raggedy-ass beards (as in Duck Dynasty)
A man who doesn’t read
Neediness and dependency
Racism, bigotry, rudeness, self-centeredness, disrespectfulness
Dishonesty
I’m sure I’ll think of more . . .
Being asked “are you sure?” excessively. By that, I mean after a few dates and by the time they should have clued in to my general position of never saying “yes” when I mean “no”, being asked if I’m sure if I agree to eat their choice of cuisine, doing their planned activity, or agreeing to some small negligible favour just screams “INSECURE! INSECURE! INSECURE!” to me. I’m sure many people have met the type of people that agree to something and the sigh and moan about the very thing they agreed to, but after a couple months of dating, you’re STILL asking me? Specifically after I told you where I stood on agreeing to do things or not do things? Get the fuck out of my life!
Food: a picky eater would drive me insane. I love to cook and I’m good at it. I would not be happy with someone who was overly picky and not willing to venture out of their comfort zone and try new foods. I understand having preferences, which is very different from being “picky.”
Sex: someone who wasn’t adventurous in bed and had over-the-top hang-ups would not be for me. I was married to someone for 17 years that fits this category.
Music: stuck on Classic Rock and not willing to expand their musical taste.
Books: Someone who doesn’t read.
I can probably think of more, but lastly and most definitely - if a person wears Patchouli oil, dating would be out of the question. Period. :eek:
Very similar to my ex-wife. But add insane jealousy. Couldn’t think of having female friends. Or any kind of social networking. Or being friendly at work. No way I would ever deal with that at all ever again. Funny thing is she decided to leave me. Best thing she ever did for me.
Wow, its interesting to me to see some of these ‘dealbreakers’ which I would consider mild annoyances at best. I know plenty of people who are so busy with other hobbies or their jobs that they don’t have time to read for enjoyment. I largely fall into that category and read about one book a year simply because I only ever have large enough blocks of time when I am on vacation. Likewise, I am a Republican, but a very mild one who believes in gay marriage and am very pro-choice. That said, I’m in a high enough income bracket and work my ass off that I don’t appreciate everyone making a constant grab for extra tax money from me just because I can ‘afford it’. My wife is a lifelong Democrat and we vote very differently when it comes to fiscal policy, but we are 100% alike on social issues (just not how to fund them). After 16+ years of marriage, it would take a lot more to break up a relationship than many of the things I’ve seen listed.
I think about this thread every time I fart and burp audibly now. 