Um… I have to ask… She’s not related to you, is she?
Start looking for her faults? She’s got to have some. No one is perfect.
Hey, if marrying his cousin was good enough for FDR, by god, it’s good enough for all of us!
Well, okay, like fifth cousin, but that doesn’t sound nearly as funny.
No. In fact, I don’t have any close living relatives.
She has some flaws, but none that really make be go, “Ewww!” or otherwise set off alarms. I don’t think there is anything I can work up to outright revulsion, and frankly, I don’t really care to do that, as I enjoy being around her as a person quite separate from any misplaced affection.
Stranger
So why is she unavailable?
It doesn’t even have to be things that make you never want to spend time with her–in the example I gave of my own experience, I just came to more fully realize aspects of the guy that I wasn’t attracted to and could tolerate in a friend, but would drive me nuts in a boyfriend, so thank god I wasn’t dating him.
And why would another woman be more acceptable in principle? I can understand why one would not have time for a relationship, or not wanting to put a woman at risk if one’s secret identity as Superman were discovered, but I don’t understand what is going on here.
Let’s just say for talking purposes that that she’s happily married with three kids as a convenient fiction that dispenses with the possibility of having a viable romantic relationship with her.
Stranger
Oh my god, it’s Michelle Obama!
Seriously, people, why she’s unavailable doesn’t matter, and he clearly doesn’t want to talk about it, so stop asking.
You’ve guessed my secret, damn you. I was trying to keep it under wraps but the National Enquirer is threatening to break the story any day.
Stranger
And I bet you thought you were being all tricky with the “three” kids. Hah!
Think about how high-maintenance she is.
Yes, she is.
Yes, she really, really is. I’m getting tired just thinking about all the stuff she expects every day.
That’s not really a good argument, though. All women are high maintenance; even, or perhaps especially, those who think they are not. There is a corollary for men. I’ll leave it as an exercise to the reader to figure out what it is.
Stranger
I think that these sorts of infatuations can actually be very positive and productive, esp. when unrequited and never actualized (consumated, whatever).
Fantasy in itself can be invigorating and empowering.
We don’t have to ever act on it. In fact, it is probably best in most cases if we don’t!
Perspective, yes.
I’ve entertained my share of such infatuations, either with those who were unavailable to me or available but obviously bad news for me and I knew it, but the little buzz I got from the infatuation and daydreaming was harmless (in the least) and beneficial (at the most).
At times, there might have been some misery involved as well, but it was more than balanced out.
Well then the answer to the titular question is–presuming you to be heterosexual and of a monogamous bent–to start thinking over all the things you and her husband and her could do.
Wait a second, you’re already saying that she is totally and inexplicably unavaliable. WTH?!
So great to see some optimism, people!
Okay, so lets assume that se could possibly become avaliable. What then? Are you planning on dating her? Marrying her? Or would you preffer just being/staying? really close friends or something? Are you already friends with her? Would you tell her you loved her it she was “avaliable”?
If you wouldn’t, or she’s totally NOT avaliable (e.g. you’re evil bosses wife/daughter) then I say fantasise about her for a couple of months until you get bored. And you probably will.
Unless… how long has this been going on?
Thread closed per request of OP.