Dear BigT...

[Giraffe]

Let me just start by saying I think you’re a great person. Just super interesting with all sorts of qualities that will undoubtedly make some other damaged weirdo endlessly happy. But I think we need to see other people. Or rather, you need to stop seeing me. I’m not fussy: put me on ignore, get a lobotomy, go Amish. Whatever you like. I’d just like to be able to post without you yapping at my heels about having a message board that isn’t this one!

In the recent OpalCat pitting:

@BigT

Yeah, I know you weren’t smart enough to read about masturbation as a kid, but you’re doing it wrong. I know your own message board where you have multiple threads dedicated to bashing this woman is just not enough for you, but taking it here isn’t going to help your sexual frustration.

First off, I’m not 100% sure how my making a single post in a Pit thread saying “yes, the target of this Pitting has recently been annoying me with her posting as well” is masturbation, exactly, but I’ll admit to not being a masturbation scholar. Second of all, yelling at me for the threads other people start on another message board doesn’t exactly make a lot of sense. And finally, what exactly is your point? Yes, I have a message board. I also have a Facebook page: am I allowed to discuss the SDMB on there without you wagging your finger at me? What if someone else makes a comment on there that you don’t like? And how about a blog? Can I have a blog? Is that OK with you? Are you going to read it and then come over here and scold me for it?

Lest anyone think I’m getting annoyed over a single comment, this is the latest in a series of posts by BigT self-righteously castigating me in completely unrelated threads. A few examples:

In the Diogenes banning thread:

[QUOTE=BigT]

Hypocrisy - To tell people to do one thing while you yourself do the opposite.

Giraffe created the board as a criticism of this board. The beginning posts were all about how bad this board was for the decision they made. The mods themselves criticized this board. To then say that other people could not criticize the board would be hypocritical.
[/QUOTE]

In the Jamie McGarry Pitting:

@BigT

[QUOTE=Guinastasia]
Oh shut up, Mister Rogers. Last time I checked, this wasn’t the Carebears Fan Forum.

Oh, did you check with your Giraffe buddies and find out that it’s okay to say crap about me again? Or is it just your typical getting off on the misfortune of others because it makes you feel better about the crappy live you lead?
[/QUOTE]

In a Pit thread about parking meters:

@BigT

Meh. Giraffe is just here because his board’s Pit doesn’t work worth shit. He hasn’t contributed to this board in a long time, and you do best to ignore him.

What? His first post here is just to make fun of the OP.

And just to be completely clear: I think BigT (or anyone else) is completely within their rights to think I’m a huge asshole for running that board. If the SDMB rules allowed it, I’d be all for him Pitting me about it every other day. But the staff here have explicitly requested that off-board stuff stay off-board, so I haven’t responded to his little turds up to this point. But I think it’s time for him to simply forget that both I and that place exists. Anything he can do to help the process along, e.g. drinking paint, would be greatly appreciated.

[miss_elizabeth]

I keep a fairly long ignore list. Sometimes this can be a problem; if you put a prolific poster on ignore, it can make reading certain threads nearly impossible. Even though I don’t like what they contribute, it’s hard to ignore it’s impact on the conversation.

I’ve had BigT on ignore a long time. Sometimes, just for a giggle, I’ll click the “View Post” button and laugh at the inanity. But I never, ever, have to click and let him through because his posts are interesting and important, and I need to see what he’s saying for the thread to stay coherent. Never. Simply put, his contribution is meaningless.

My advice is, stick him on ignore. Truly you won’t miss him.

[GrandWino]

Frankly, he annoys me much much more than Opal. At least Opal has an identity that’s clearly her own. BigTard just gallops in on his whitest of white steeds with his mealy-mouthed little “hey, stop it you big meanie” type posts.

He seems to have a misguided notion that one day, a Doper Lady will be so impressed by his gallantry that she’ll swoop in and rescue him from his mother’s dungeon.

[Cat_Whisperer]

I don’t have a dog in this fight, but I do appreciate a proper old-school BBQ Pit OP. Nicely done, Giraffe.

[Spice_Weasel]

I think BigT is a woman.

Carry on.

[Kolga]

@olivesmarch4th

I think BigT is a woman.

Carry on.

If that’s true, that makes the OP even funnier.

[Bosstone]

Nah, you’ve got to be a man to be a prissy milquetoast bitch.

[Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge]

@olivesmarch4th

I think BigT is a woman.

Carry on.

I’ve thought the same thing.

[miss_elizabeth]

@olivesmarch4th

I think BigT is a woman.

Carry on.

I’m pretty sure BigT identifies as a man. There have been posts about wet dreams and ejaculation, for example. I dunno; someone who cares more could look through the posting history.

[GrandWino]

This would be an even weirder post if BigT were a woman.

Well, I learned to masturbate from a book–a book telling me about the horrors of it called God, Sex, and Me or similar. It even said it was okay to discuss it since anyone would discover it on their own anyways. I hadn’t. And it took me an hour of experimenting for it to happen the first time.

The reason I bring that up is that it didn’t go into cleanup, but it did mention wet dreams, and it discussed how, if you woke up with it, you didn’t have to clean up because your body would absorb it by morning.

So I was always under the impression that it would clean itself up.

[Spice_Weasel]

@miss_elizabeth

I’m pretty sure BigT identifies as a man. There have been posts about wet dreams and ejaculation, for example. I dunno; someone who cares more could look through the posting history.

I’m basing it on this post:

[QUOTE=Cryptic C62]
I originally made it so I could post it on a BigT’s facebook wall; BigT is a lesbian, so this is the only political shenaniganry I could think of that I knew she would find amusing. It wasn’t until after I posted it that I realized other people might enjoy it too.
[/QUOTE]

[Chimera]

Goddamn it. How dare you run a different board. Once you’re on the dope, you are no longer allowed to look at other message boards. Or something like that.

At a minimum, people shouldn’t come here to whine about what is posted on a different board. Giraffe should not have to be pelted by crap from whiny shits who can’t take their complains about what happens on his board to… wait for it… his board.

[Spice_Weasel]

I like BigT but I do agree that off-board drama should stay off-board.

[lorene]

@Giraffe

I’ll admit to not being a masturbation scholar.

So, you don’t have a Mastur’s Degree?

[Fenris]

@olivesmarch4th

I like BigT

Good lord, why?

[MOIDALIZE]

@BigT

Well, I learned to masturbate from a book–a book telling me about the horrors of it called God, Sex, and Me or similar. It even said it was okay to discuss it since anyone would discover it on their own anyways. I hadn’t. And it took me an hour of experimenting for it to happen the first time.

The reason I bring that up is that it didn’t go into cleanup, but it did mention wet dreams, and it discussed how, if you woke up with it, you didn’t have to clean up because your body would absorb it by morning.

So I was always under the impression that it would clean itself up.

The first few times are always tricky. I always did it next to a table so I could rest the dirty magazine on top of it while having the instructional guide in my free hand for easy reference. After awhile I got the hang of it and gave the manual back to my dad (one proud day, maybe I can pass it on to a son of my own).

[miss_elizabeth]

@olivesmarch4th

I’m basing it on this post:

That does make for some ambiguity. I briefly looked for a self-identification, and didn’t find one.

@Fenris

Good lord, why?

Because olives is super nice, unlike you (and me).

[Freudian_Slit]

I don’t know what’s weirder. That BigT learned to masturbate from a book or that he apparently thinks everyone else does (his reference to Giraffe not having read about it as a child).

[lorene]

@miss_elizabeth

That does make for some ambiguity. I briefly looked for a self-identification, and didn’t find one.

I think the key is that Cryptic C62 wrote:

I originally made it so I could post it on **a **BigT’s facebook wall

Bolding mine. The use of the indefinite article makes me think s/he is referring to someone specific in his or her life, not the poster BigT.

I could be wrong, not being a scholar and all.

[Chimera]

@Freudian_Slit

I don’t know what’s weirder. That BigT learned to masturbate from a book or that he apparently thinks everyone else does (his reference to Giraffe not having read about it as a child).

Yeah, that’s pretty strange. I thought everyone went to Masturbation Academy like I did.