Dear BigT...

What I don’t get is what is with all these rich kids having their richy-rich parents buy them a book to learn to masturbate with?

Where I grew up you pretty much had to figure these things out for yourself, because both of your parents were too busy working the street corners and had to give 3/4 of their money to Funk Master Jon Beautiful, or if you were a smart little fucker like me you could ask Old Man Cletus down behind the 7-11 to show you how to rub one out.

EDIT:

Shit, speaking of rich kids when did Bill Gates’ kid join the SDMB?

Masturbation Academy?

Do they have any job openings you know of?

Sure they do, but they won’t employ just any old jerkoff.

This.

Somehow, I made it the last 10 or so years on this site without really forming an opinion of BigT one way or the other. He is just a name I sorta recall as a member.

But, that OP? Brilliant!

I see. Men or women?

Hrmm, I wonder what kind of bird delivers the invitation? Probably not a swallow…

Meh. For the most part I think **BigT **is an okay guy, but he really gets under my skin when he starts lecturing everyone on social skills and morality. I’m like, “Dude, you’ve never even been outside. Quiet down.” When he’s not pretending to be Miss Manners, he’s fine by me.

He did get a LOT better after he got told off by everybody and their little brothers about being such a damned goody-goody. I like him fine now. But I have noticed this weird obsession with Giraffe.

Having openings there would kind of defeat the purpose.

Anyone remember the Drawn Together episode where Wooldoor learned how to masterbate, after seeing how Foxy got her rocks off and wondering whether he could do the same? **BigT **learning how to masterbate from a book brings it to mind.

Hilarious episode, I thought.

When I was in the tenth grade my Biology II teacher taught (unofficially) sex ed because a lot of kids weren’t learning about contraception or even conception at home. I got an A- on the test because I misspelled “masturbation.”

I should have studied harder when I was four, but I couldn’t read yet.

I’d agree with that, but the thing is that on the Giraffe Boards they aren’t shy about pointing and laughing at the SDMB. (Thankfully they’ve moved that off the main page, so those who don’t care about that can ignore it.) I guess it’s really no big deal, but it shouldn’t be surprising if we notice it and point it out. Especially since the GB is a legitimate message board, not a snark board.

I believe BigT’s annoyance at Guinastasia, as linked to in the OP, stems from the fact that at some point she really enjoyed talking smack about Dopers on the GB in order to please people and gain friends over there, but then came back here and posted as if nobody knew what she was up to. I don’t know if she still does that (I never read that part of the GB anymore), but I could see someone finding it annoying.

I think this is an extremely fair point. It is an inherently asymmetric situation to have two message boards with overlapping populations when only one has a prohibition about referencing or discussing posts at the other. But…I don’t know what to do about that. I have no control over the rules of this board, and I have no interest in maintaining the same level of strictness about what can and can’t be talked about on my board.

FWIW, I would never post anything at my board that I wouldn’t be willing to defend on this one. And if it were up to me, posters here would be able to call out people for shit they said over there. But it’s not up to me. So while I can understand how BigT might have fully-justified feelings about me based on my allowing posts he doesn’t like on another board, the rules of this board don’t allow me to respond to the little jabs he makes. Thus, I’d like him to stop making them.

There are any number of us who post here, there, and everywhere, and have no particular problems with the rules here and there. I’m not sure why BigT has the problem he appears to have; the dynamics of these two boards aren’t that hard to figure out.

If you’re reading a message board and you see something on it that you want to respond to–for good or ill–it’s not that hard to do so on that message board. BigT should sure as hell not be bringing it up over here, where it’s not allowed.

The idea that different message boards have different rules and cultures is difficult for some people? Who knew?

Well, apparently, figuring out how to masturbate is difficult for some people, too, so it’s really not that surprising.

I just got 822 results for “How to Masturbate” on Amazon.

Most of them are for women, though. Bless their hearts.

Gosh, I guess I’m smarter than I thought. I learned with no instruction. On the very first try even!

I don’t think I’ve ever gotten it perfect. So I just keep practicing… :smiley: