[QUOTE=CitizenPained;14766581
me. You can thank florez for that. No one has sent me money.
[/QUOTE]
Now go get help, real help…you need help.
OK, I apologize. There does seem to be some kind of book project. You didn’t link to it in the donation thread and I don’t have time to follow every episode of The CP Show. Given the other inconsistencies in your posts, I incorrectly assumed it was a fabrication.
You didn’t say a glass of wine, you said:
It’s crazy how people think mixing wine and prescription muscle-relaxants counts as “drugs and alchohol”.
Stop trying to use her actual words against her.
I would like to help, so I will give some specific direction. Please chime in if I am off.
CitizenPained, stop all posting with that username. You can’t stop what is out there but you can stop adding to it.
Use one new username for all your professional use of the internet, another for personal.
You think its hard for you, I’m colorblind.
I don’t take any mediation of this type, so I have to ask, is a glass of wine and 2mg of Klonopin really a sign of bad things? A sign of having problems with ‘drugs and alcohol’? It just seems that people around me will have a glass or two of alcohol and various anti-depressants and what have you of prescribed medication all the time.
My husband has a friend who has had several seizures, has been forced on all sorts of medications and *she *drinks more than ten martinis a night. Every night. *That *might be what I’d consider more of a ‘drug and alcohol’ problem than a glass of wine and whatever the hell Klonopin is (I mean, I googled it, seems to help with panic attacks.)
It’s not like CitizenPained said she was doing the Klonopin/wine every night, nor is she doing a boat load of prescription drugs plus a gallon of hooch…
Especially their use in a woman who KNOWS she is pregnant. This is no backwater, ignorant rube who just may not know that drugs and alcohol don’t mix, especially in pregnancy. Nope. This is a single mom who really NEEDS her job and (apparently-this is not clear) has no viable system of support. So, the wisest course of action is to… check out of reality with drugs and alcohol. Lady of the Lake: have you read her posts about alcohol? This is no casual drinker. This is someone who is using alcohol to check out of her problems. Also, anti-depressants and alcohol don’t mix, but Klonopin and alcohol really don’t mix. Google Klonopin for more info. Plus, she’s pregnant. I’m not one to freak out over an occasional glass of wine during pregnancy, but the combo. And not the behavior she revealed here.
Yeah. Mother of the Year for sure. And for those not keeping up, the pic of the US is not on her bedside table; she doesn’t have one. It’s on the floor next to her bed next to her purse. My thought is maybe CP shouldn’t leave pics on the floor, no matter what the pics are of.
My question still stands: where does her son go when she is entertaining her man of the moment? Does he sleep on the floor or is this co-sleeping really edgy with all 3 of them under the covers? Is there some heretofore hidden family support where Junior goes when Mommy wants some personal attention? If so, why not ask them to help out with money for a bed-oh wait, the car (you know, the 2 cars-both pieces of shit per CP–need detailing. Car before child. Got it.) It doesn’t add up.
My BS meter usually pings when I can’t figure out simple things like this. Sharing a bed with a 7 year old child. What happens to said child when adult relations are ongoing? Or does 7 year old get left home alone while you’re out, CP? Or does the sitter then share the bed with your son? Sharing a bed is impractical when looked at this way. And where will that baby go–on the floor? Or does Junior get kicked out of bed to make room for the Baby? I tend to no longer believe anything you post due to the lack of plausibility in your posts.
I truly hope you find your way, CP. But I also hope there is a lesson learned here-not for you. You’re an adult and free to make your own mistakes and bad choices. But your son and pending baby–your mistakes and bad choices affect them in ways you cannot imagine. If you don’t want to straighten up and out for yourself, do it for them. NOBODY needs a mother so desperate for a drink (or an escape from reality) so bad they whine about longing for one online. You have some major issues that need resolving or at least addressing. The answers for them are not to be found here. Again, GET HELP.
Admittedly, I only got a bit into her other thread before going on to other things (i.e. minecraft). The thread was depressing. Yeah, I guess when I read it I thought ‘lots of people are on stuff to deal with panic attacks or depression, and lots of people have a glass of wine with it, is this really a big deal?’ But yeah (Just googled) , that particular mix seems bad news.
I wonder if people just try to avoid thinking about that type of thing. It seems that there a lot of people out there, neighbors and family members, who will take something like Klonopin and a beer or what have you without even thinking about it. shrug
The pregnancy thing I’m not touching, because, yeah…
Seeing things in an unrealistically negative light is a classic hallmark of depression. A lot of these “lies” just look like classic cognitive distortions to me- where, for example, breakfast-for-lunch day suddenly becomes a horrifying sign that you are an unfit mother…when in the cold light of day it actually isn’t that bad and may even be a sweet thing. When people are really depressed, they don’t have a straight story because their brain isn’t giving them a straight story- it’s giving them the “everything sucks, everything is bad, nothing is okay and nothing is good” version all of the time.
Being depressed with a kid obviously isn’t an ideal situation, but kids get raised in all kinds of situations, and that’s life. Half the kids I know have something (drug abuse, alcoholism, physical abuse, mental illness) in their lives. It’s not great, but it’s what happens- it happens in nice big houses, with married parents, and other seemingly nice situations as well. We aren’t all lucky enough for a picture perfect family, but as long as we have people who genuinely love us and care about us, most of us make it out okay.
It certainly doesn’t help to harp on it. What is she supposed to do? Get magically undepressed? Send her kid to foster care, which will almost certainly be worse? Honestly I’m honestly utterly unconvinced that any of this “concern” for the kid is real- I think it’s just another cheap blow at the one thing the CP holds most important in her life.
Anyway, I sympathize. I’ve been broke and depressed and it’s a journey to get out of that.
Either you have an incredible lack of imagination, or are using a bitchy “gotcha” question to underhandedly imply something really heinous about someone you don’t know.
There are ways to have sex that don’t involve your bed, at home, at night. Plenty of women manage to have active sex lives without bringing home overnight guests. We just had a “how does co-sleeping work” thread. It’s not rocket science.
The concern is all right, but isn’t this white knighting a bit tiring?
And so your perception is the only correct one. Got it. Now that we know that, you will be the go to person for all Doper stories that don’t add up. How much you know about life and people. Must be from all that travel. We have much to learn from you.
But wait, there’s this–I suffer from periodic depression myself. I know full well the path CP may well be walking. See all my posts re getting help. I have been where CP. The details weren’t exactly the same, but the despair and helpless hopelessness were.
This is condescending. Back atcha: Yes, it does happen. And sometimes, really BAD things happen because of the depression “treated” via alcohol and abuse of Rx drugs. Gosh, maybe some of us don’t want that to happen (yet) again, even to a stranger on the internet. Imagine.
Let me get this straight: you swallow her stories whole, but the people here who have pointed out the discrepancies, suggested she get help etc are so mean and evil that they really aren’t concerned about this boy; they only want to hurt CP more. That’s logical. (post: sarcasm)
CP is the harper-the one who laments her ever-changing situation over and over, while being vicious to other Dopers in the process. And, she’s the only one who can save herself and through that, her son and unborn child.
That makes sense. Sure. Perhaps we have much to learn from CP as well. So much learning going on. My.
Not in her place of residence with her son around there isn’t. And since she can’t afford a bed for him, I’m fairly certain she can’t afford a sitter, either. That doesn’t leave many options. But she can afford to have her car detailed, which tells me she does not make solid decisions when it comes to money management. Not a problem when it’s just her. But it’s not just her: there are now 2 children involved. One she claims to meticulously look after; the other she refers to as “the alien”.
I’m a mother. Most mothers are ambiguous at one point or another about mothering. I’d be a lot more supportive of CP if she were honest here about her doubts and concerns/fears vs the manipulation/drama she prefers. She is making bad decisions consistently which tells me she needs HELP. Hearing from strangers may be harsh at times, but it serves as a reality check. Her life is out of control. Again, she needs help. Joining the pity party doesn’t help her or her son-it prolongs the downward spiral.
I am not aware of the co-sleeping thread. But even that was not my point. My point is, like it or not, SOON there will be 3 people in this bed: CP, son and baby. Where does her son go then? Where does baby go? How big is this bed?
I don’t lack imagination when it comes to sex, I lack tolerance for BS. Sex can happen anywhere, but that doesn’t solve the problem of who is supervising the “meticulously cared for” son. These are her words, her writings concerning her life. This is what she chose to share with us. Either we need clarity or she needs help. Probably both. The clarity I can live without; the help she cannot.
The only reason anyone is ‘harping’ on it is because CitizenPained just wouldn’t stop starting new threads about her anxiety, and her STD, and her pregnancy, and her card-shark boyfriend, and her money-moving dad. It just has become extremely unbelievable (it doesn’t help that she has a history of posting in a nasty, bitchy manner even before all this started). Do you really think she’d be getting this reaction if she hadn’t laid it all on so thick? Lots of dopers start threads about personal problems and get nothing but sympathy and helpful suggestions. The idea that dopers just instantly turn into snarling jackals at the least hint of weakness is not particularly true.
As for what is she supposed to do - I don’t know, something? Anything? Just because you’re depressed doesn’t mean that you get carte blanche to do nothing but whine - especially when you’re responsible for a kid. I get what you’re saying that lots of parents have problems and lots of kids are exposed to those problems, but it doesn’t mean that doing that to your kid is automatically okay just because hey, other people have survived that so it’s just fine, right? And certainly doesn’t mean that if you describe those problems online that everyone else should just say “awww, that’s okay, you’re a great mom, don’t change anything!”.
Again…where is the agoraphobic-chlamydic-poker-playing Alien Daddy nowadays? Why the hell did he rip up those cheques? Enquiring minds still want to know…
In a strange turn of events, he’s run off with her money laundering, also poker playing father. They’ve skipped the country, run off to Rio, and are very much in love— drinking daiquiris while manically cackling about how their plan unfolded just as they intended. There’s also a giant parrot who can tell all of the FBI’s deepest secrets, but that’s neither here nor there.
(Scene changes to Chimera raising his hand to backhand a giant parrot while screaming “Polly want a bitchslap?!?”)
Oh. Um…hi. Nothing to see here.
Man, you don’t mess with parrots - those mothers are bad ass!
Did you miss the part where I was getting an abortion? I took necros up on his offer to drive me. What’s with this ‘unborn baby’ shit? Did the Dope go Republican? Is eleanorigby suddenly Jan fucking Brady? It’s perfectly normal to get an abortion and still feel bad. It’s almost weird if you don’t. I think I was even told to go have myself a glass of wine or two in that thread.
And can you really not read? I got an old 1998 Blazer when my Chrysler 300 fell apart the day after Christmas. They promised to fix a few things, including detailing it before giving to me, and they didn’t do it all. In fact, that’s what I said – that they were doing things they’d promised to do.
So I finally got in touch with the right person and had time to take it back – but they all of the sudden charged me $500 extra in repairs from the 300 (which they couldn’t fix and admitted guilt, plus we’d already negotiated it!) WEEKS after I had signed it over to them. TOTALLY blindsided. They’d originally tried to make me pay $900.
But the detailing of the Blazer and fixing the review mirror switch wasn’t billed – it was part of the original deal when I bought it. I paid for that already. Have you ever bought a car, new or used, from a dealer and had it smell like wet dog? If I don’t fucking answer every thing in this thread, it’s because it’s fucking retarded. And sorry, but I don’t owe you detailed expense reports. Fuck that. Yes, I asked them to clean out the old car with 126k miles on it because it’s the least they can do and they promised. Read with comprehension. The stuff in parenthesis is meant to elaborate on what I just said. This isn’t 4th grade English. And while I didn’t say ‘review door* mirror* switch’, I thought the detail part was pretty clear.
I manage money fine (not going out a lot or having a car payment or drinking constantly like most people my age do helps) but sometimes things come up. Sometimes lots of things come up at once. I’m not ashamed that my kid has a (large) scholarship to a private school and I pay the extra, or that I moved into the neighborhood and pay higher rent to take him every morning. I’m not going to apologize that he doesn’t qualify for free/reduced lunch and I’m limited to what I can do because of their food restrictions, hours of operation, expenses, etc. I’m proud of that. I’m HAPPY to make sacrifices for my son. I’m also proud that I volunteer and eat lunch with him once a week. He loves it. His teachers love it. So do his friends. There’s nothing about it that makes me a bad mom.
If the little guy came in my room and said, “Mom, I want a bed,” he’d get a bed. Maybe that means I don’t get my every other month guilty pleasure of hair highlights or something. Maybe it would take a few weeks. But I’ve never denied the kid anything he needed, and I’m not answering any more questions about our co-sleeping arrangement. I’ve been open about it on the Dope. Even before he grew out of his toddler bed, he spent 50 per cent or more in mine. And yes, he slept with me as a baby. I mentioned that awhile ago in another thread, but no one freaked out then.
What’s this - men I’m entertaining at the moment thing? Do I sound like a ‘madam’ to you?
Wow, nevermind that I opened the std thread with the fact that I’d been abstinent for a fucking year. I still remember the thread where someone alluded that I was a cunt for being conservative in relationships - something about the car door.
I’m usually berated for being so damned PRUDE, but now apparently I’m a real slut. Pick one! Am I a (secret) Republican, but a public man-hating, homophobic, sexually frustrated religious bitch or just a real whore?
But, I know, since I magically can’t go get myself undepressed, I’m x, y, and z or whatever your imaginations can ‘elaborate’ on for me. Gosh, I have doc appt but THAT’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH – I’m criticized for the cost, even if I’m willing to pay because it’s someone I know and trust and having a good doc is priceless when it comes to meds…but somehow that’s not good enough, because apparently that’s not ‘getting off the Internet and getting help’ FAST enough. I should just snap out of it, send my kid to live with strangers, quit my job, and go live in a forest! :smack: If I had scheduled an appt with a cheaper doc, I’d get criticized for going to “any old person when it’s your SON’S LIFE THAT IS AT STAKE! MEDICATIONS CAN BE DANGEROUS! DON’T BE SO CHEAP, YOU HORRIBLE EXCUSE FOR A MOM! Quick! Call child protective services stat!”
The more shit I get in this thread for either the a) good things I do b) things you’re making up or embellishing or c) the things every parent goes through, the better I feel about myself. even sven was right: when you’re depressed, you see everything in the negative…but when other people start being* more* negative and ridiculous than you are, then well, it does seem not so bad. And you do look like you’re just having fun at this point. You’re calling me a liar and a con artist – but you’re stretching the truth, embellishing what you don’t know, making the worst assumptions, and now it is the hyenas in here that are the liars. Not I.
I’m sure no Doper here has EVER been in a bad relationship, had a fight with a mate, did something stupid, trusted someone they shouldn’t have, or started dating an ex because they were once very much in like with them. No one here has ever forgiven a Very Bad Thing because they were in love - right? Right? And no one here EVER gets their heart broken because they are WAY too smart for that. No one here with depression has ever been with another depressed person because it felt safer, lest you be judged. Right? Am I right? And no one has ever talked about TMI-ish things? Everyone here is perfect?
Or whatever.
Nobody said you were a slut. Or maybe they did, but I didn’t. And there is this: I have said none of those things. STOP EXAGGERATING for drama or sympathy or whatever it is that you’re doing it for-it just gets in the way of people who might be sincerely concerned. My top concern is for your son, because you’re supposed to be old enough to make your own decisions, but he has no choice but to be a helpless bystander in your bad choices. Think of HIM, not your highlights, not your wanting to escape. How you can best help him by helping yourself?
I still don’t understand the car situation-it sounds like bad decision on top of bad decision on top of naivety.
I wasn’t aware you were getting an abortion–I don’t read all your posts, nor do I care to. I was responding to the last iteration of it’s my baby and I’m 5/7/3 weeks along, but I love my alien and his US pic posts. Apparently things (again) have moved on. Of course getting help takes time, so does getting better and digging out of holes. There is not one person here who truly believes that any of this has an instant fix.
scholarship or no, if you have to choose between basic supplies (such as a bed or a functioning car) and school fees, the school costs too much. And yet again, you ping the BS meter with the “I’ll have to do w/o highlights for a few weeks in order for Junior to get a bed.” A BED. Highlights are not a necessity, but if you just cannot function without them, Clairol et al make cheap kits you can buy at the grocery store. That just might be a quick, easy and simple way to save more than a few bucks.
I have no idea how many men you entertain. Would you rather I had said the potential baby daddies you have over to fuck? Fuck buddy? FWB? I did not/do not consider you a “madam” (they’re the business owners, not the prostitutes, btw), nor did I/ do I consider you a prostitute or even a slut. There is no denying you’ve had sex with at least 2 men, once in the past and one more recently. That’s all I meant by “entertain”. So much for civil society euphemisms. Point taken. I also don’t care (and really don’t need to know-you have this insatiable need to SHARE) how long you’ve been celibate. You still have not answered the question of where your son goes when you (excuse me, I’ll be using another euphemism) bring dates home or when you go out. Can’t afford essentials in life, so where’s the money for the sitter? It’s a salient point, but I doubt you’ll answer it.
The entire me being a Republican is just bizarre, but amusing. Let’s leave it here: I am glad you are coming to grips with some nasty shit in your life. I still contend you need HELP, by which I mean counseling or just a support group of some kind. And you need to not mix alcohol and Klonopin for starters. There are many, many young people just your age who are single parents who do NOT drink “constantly”, nor do they post about their overwhelming desire for alcohol. That’s a red flag, or should be, for you.
Lastly, IMO, you need to stop and take stock of who your support system truly is, where you can get help, where you need to concentrate your efforts to provide more stability and future security for your son. Parenting is probably the absolute hardest thing anyone ever does. Your son relies solely on you. Who can you rely on? We all need someone, if not an entire group. An online message board is not the best option for that.
If teenagers without their own homes or cars can manage to have sex, I think that two under-employed folks can.
The details are not your business. But I’m sure you’ll make some up. :rolleyes: