Dear CitizenPained

[Azeotrope]

Lately, **Citzen Pained’s **posts have started to remind me of the plot of The DaVinci Code: they just go one implausibility too far for me to continue a willing suspension of disbelief.

The teaching job: I believed her at first. My cousin did a similar job and didn’t last a year because it was at once heartbreaking and fucking scary. If she’s tough enough to stick it out and gets through to those kids, more power to her. It gritted me every time she’d refer to it as the “sped school” but maybe she gets a pass on it because she works with them.

But it’s part time, and the pay’s not great, although she’s expecting at $4000 tax refund, and she’s mentioned going on interviews for new jobs, and in the meantime can she start a thread for donations to her Amazon Classroom Wishlist? :dubious:

Again, I believed her at the start of the “my ‘ex’ gave me chlamydia and oh yeah I’m pregnant now” thread. Wouldn’t be the first time someone’s partner was dumb enough not to use protection with a hooker and then spread the joy around. And yes, it only takes one time with no protection for baby to happen.

But first it was ectopic and she was gonna abort at home because she didn’t have a ride to the clinic, then someone in her area offered her a lift and suddenly she was all anti-abortion and couldn’t stop a beating heart, then she was gonna wash her jerky friend-with-benefits out of her hair, then she’s back with him, and oh woe she’s too depressed to do anything, and she wants to keep the baby, and if she gets this new job but she got sick at the interview… and on and on and on.

Not to mention the FWB is agoraphobic (panic attacks and severe anxiety in uncontrollable situations such as crowds) and yet a professional gambler in Vegas casinos. Crowded, noisy places with loads of strangers sitting elbow-to-elbow with you. Amazing how he can hold it together well enough to make a killing at the tables :dubious:

Firstly, ectopic pregnancy is life threatening. A coworker at my last job had to go to the ER (it turned out to be her appendix) and according to her they spent a lot of time fussing about a possible ectopic pregnancy. My cousin and his wife are considering in vitro but hesitating because they were told that any ectopic pregnancy would be aborted as soon as it was found.

If it’s not ectopic, and she wants to keep it, risking possible complications from the STDs that are suddenly not a topic of conversation anymore, not to mention the painkillers and booze she’s using as a crutch… :dubious:

But depression is awful and makes you make poor choices and saps your energy and all that, and I’ve never been in her shoes so I shouldn’t be so critical.

Then came the “my dad the racketeer” thread, which was what really made me say, “Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Of course white collar crime exists, and I’m not familiar enough with banking to know exactly what’s wrong with the story, but somehow it just sounds wrong.

Best of all, she felt compelled to mention that even though her father embezzles millions and owns houses and fancy cars, she’s poor. Really she is. Yet her son goes to a private religious school… but maybe his grandfather pays for that… his grandfather the smooth-talking money launderer, with whom she wants nothing to do for screwing over her stepmother… :dubious:

[Oakminster]

@markm

5. My mother was a tailor, sewed my new blue jeans… My daddy was a gambling man… Wait, that’s a song, not my life.

Plus eleventy-billion points for this bit. I mean, it was an excellent post—but to work in a shout out to House of the Rising Sun like that was a stroke of genius. Well played, Sir. Well played.

[MsWhatsit]

She’s been pinging my bullshit meter since the first time I read that supposedly she’s a teacher. If she really is a teacher, she’s an extraordinarily shitty one, based on what she’s posted around here. But I don’t think she is one at all.

[MoodIndigo1]

markm, that just about summarized it. I concur.

[kidchameleon]

The “oh yeah, he stole my mom’s dog” pushed me over the edge…

[Soylent_Juicy]

@ugly ripe tomato

Not to mention the FWB is agoraphobic (panic attacks and severe anxiety in uncontrollable situations such as crowds) and yet a professional gambler in Vegas casinos. Crowded, noisy places with loads of strangers sitting elbow-to-elbow with you. Amazing how he can hold it together well enough to make a killing at the tables :dubious:

Wait, what? What the hell, man? Dude I’m perfectly “normal” and casinos hurt my brain after a while, how the hell would a person with “panic attacks and severe anxiety in uncontrollable situations such as crowds” handle being in one AND able to concentrate enough to “make a killing at the tables”?

My bullshit meter just SKYROCKETED on that point alone.

[Loach]

@Heart_of_Dorkness

Dude, you’re conflating two different posters. The squatting thread, as I said above, is BigBertha (allegedly formerly vanilla). This thread is talking about CitizenPained.

Unless you’re trying to say they’re the same person…?

Or maybe I’ve been whooshed some other way?

You are 100% right. I think. Now I’m confused.

ETA I think I read the two threads close together and for some reason the poster merged in my mind.

[Azeotrope]

Wikipedia definition of agoraphobia.

@Soylent_Juicy

Wait, what? What the hell, man? Dude I’m perfectly “normal” and casinos hurt my brain after a while, how the hell would a person with “panic attacks and severe anxiety in uncontrollable situations such as crowds” handle being in one AND able to concentrate enough to “make a killing at the tables”?

My bullshit meter just SKYROCKETED on that point alone.

I guess you could argue that not every agoraphobe has that serious of a case and every patient’s triggers are different, but it is a handy excuse for when she wants him to do something and he can fob her off with the excuse that he needs to be alone right them because he’s sick, darnitall!

[Azeotrope]

@Heart_of_Dorkness

Dude, you’re conflating two different posters. The squatting thread, as I said above, is BigBertha (allegedly formerly vanilla). This thread is talking about CitizenPained.

Unless you’re trying to say they’re the same person…?

Or maybe I’ve been whooshed some other way?

No, they’re two separate people.

[PotLuck]

@MoodIndigo1

markm, that just about summarized it. I concur.

I feel less guilty for my rising skepticism now that I know I’m not the only one.

[Kolga]

@MsWhatsit

She’s been pinging my bullshit meter since the first time I read that supposedly she’s a teacher. If she really is a teacher, she’s an extraordinarily shitty one, based on what she’s posted around here. But I don’t think she is one at all.

This this this. IF she works with the vulnerable students she claims, they’re getting an incredibly bad deal. NON-vulnerable students would be getting a bad deal, given her thinly veiled always-up-to-the-line-but-never-over-it offensive statements and her confusion over basic real-world information.

This latest saga is just the last straw.

[Loach]

@ugly ripe tomato

No, they’re two separate people.

I screwed up. Please forgive me.

[Pine_Fresh_Scent]

@MoodIndigo1

markm, that just about summarized it. I concur.

Same. Also, thanks for “ectopic baby dady (EBD)”, markm.

[Drunky_Smurf]

@Heart_of_Dorkness

I think you’re thinking of the vanilla reference in the foreclosed house thread. That seems pretty obvious to me, so much so that I assume the mods either have no hard evidence or are just letting it slide for whatever reason.

As for CitizenPained, I’m not sure who she supposedly was. She was suspended for a while though, I think - maybe that’s what folks mean?

BigBertha has now been banned or suspended. No ATMB thread yet.

[alice_in_wonderland]

I think markm has provided a nice summary - well done.

I think we are collectively getting our chains yanked which is annoying.

[YogSothoth]

@MsWhatsit

She’s been pinging my bullshit meter since the first time I read that supposedly she’s a teacher. If she really is a teacher, she’s an extraordinarily shitty one, based on what she’s posted around here. But I don’t think she is one at all.

Maybe she’s a Texan teacher

[Azeotrope]

@Loach

I screwed up. Please forgive me.

Ooh, I like the grovelling

[lorene]

@Kolga

This this this. IF she works with the vulnerable students she claims, they’re getting an incredibly bad deal. NON-vulnerable students would be getting a bad deal, given her thinly veiled always-up-to-the-line-but-never-over-it offensive statements and her confusion over basic real-world information.

But those Brown and Black students love her enough to consider her an honorary member of their race.

So the other day, I’m leading our Ladies Room group (it’s like affective ed. for teenage girls) and a student says, “Yeah, this white girl…” and I say, “Hey! There’s a white girl in the room!” Without missing a beat, she says, “Oh phst, Miss, you black!”

And then my heart swelled with some kind of pride, like I was an honorary member of the Black & Brown Ladies Club, at least in my classroom.

Another student (same school, different kid) said I was ‘two per cent nigga’. A few years ago, my Latino ESL students proclaimed me an Honorary Mexican (they would not, however, issue me a visa, in the name of fairness. ).

(I have known 4 little white girls who taught in urban schools and claimed Black people considered them Black as well. In each case, I suspected bullshit).

[markm]

@Oakminster

Plus eleventy-billion points for this bit. I mean, it was an excellent post—but to work in a shout out to House of the Rising Sun like that was a stroke of genius. Well played, Sir. Well played.

I do what I can. Thanks.

[even_sven]

@lorene

(I have known 4 little white girls who taught in urban schools and claimed Black people considered them Black as well. In each case, I suspected bullshit).

I wouldn’t. It’s a pretty common thing in a “one of these things is not like the other” situations. I think it’s just one of the ways people use to address these kinds of dynamics, when we don’t really have a good vocabulary for discussing them in a straightforward way.

I mean, think about how many black people here “Why, you are practically white,” or “I don’t think of you as black.” I think everyone hears something like this at some point when they are the odd race out.

The naive part would be reading too much in to it.