Hello fellow straight dopers! Fellow straight dopers because although I’ve only posted but a few times, I’ve been aboard and a member for quite some time. I’ve laughed, learned, and at times found peace through you all. This thread comes to you with me trying to understand how someone can be so deceiving and still live with themselves. You see, I met and fell in love with a doper, he introduced me to you all. I met him on-line quite some time ago. Our initial correspondence was through e-mail only. Soon that was not enough for him and he began telephoning me. Of course, he then wanted to meet in person. With some persuading, I gave in. The doper has been the most charming man I could imagine. After being in a marriage, that I felt had gone stale, for 12 years, the doper promised to show me and my children a new life… give me the world. I divorced my husband and began making plans with my doper. He soon became a frequent visitor to my home. Although he lived in Thunder Bay, Ont. and I in Sault Ste. Marie, Mi., he willingly made the trip back and forth at least a couple of times a month. I opened my heart to this man and let my children learn to love him. Through this courting, I discovered that my sweet charming fiance was/is still a married man, with a child. Something that he totally forgot to mention. When confronted, he explained that he was in the process of divorce and didn’t want to hurt me with the details. (He told me in the beginning he was single). Stupidly, I believed blindly in him and the love that he so urgently professed. My doper then decided he could no longer live without me and made the move from Thunder Bay to Sault Ste. Marie; “our” life begins. Usually, I am not so naive, but as I said this doper knew how to lay on the charm. Recently, through a phone bill, I find that my sweet charming doper has been sweet charming other fellow dopers. To the effect of hours of late-night phone calls and high telephone bills. Not just one, but many. I confronted my doper and he said they were just friends he was trying to “get rid of.” Believing myself to be liberally thinking, I accepted his explaination. If you are a avid doper you will recall my sweet charming Hannu seeking his own advice on how to win back my affections. My doper recently took a trip home to Europe to visit family. He informed me that he had cut all contact with the others he was charming along the way and when he came home our life of bliss would be restored. Upon his return, I asked if he’d continued his contact with the others. His response was no, that he’d informed them that he’d be out of the country for a month and that he hoped to be free of them. From what I’ve learned through a little checking, my gypsy made a side trip to another fellow doper who now is his gypsyBG. Reading through a romance thread and through some other things, I’ve discovered that my gypsy really gets around. For weeks following his return home, my gypsy and I have had mornings, afternoons, and nights filled with passion. Just a couple of nights ago, I learned of his continued deceit. I ask you fellow dopers once again, how can a person use and abuse others and think nothing of it. My family, friends, and most disheartening - my children, have grown to believe in and love this man. If any of you dopers have wondered why the gypsy is “unforgiven,” let the truth be told.

To gypsyBG - I have spoken to you and the others once wondering why you were on my fiances phone bill so often. You explained that you were his “friend.” A word to the wise, you are being used and abused. I am not bitter, nor am I expecting to gain anything by exposing my gypsy for ?man? he really is. What I’d like for all his “others” is to be observant, the truth will eventually come out.

To gypsy from your babygirl… you have not given me the world. You have destroyed my world and everything I believed could be real. You’ve lied to my family, friends, and my children… you are the loser in this scenario!

Holy Crap !

Gypsy, I await your explanation. If this stuff is true, I’ll tell you one thing: you’re a persona non grata at the European Dopers Get-Together next spring, Amsterdam (that’s about it, right, Tatertot ?). (I think the guy’s Finnish by birth, as he keeps butting in with anti-Schumacher remarks on our European Dopers Thread)

But, before anyone gets on my back again for judging people, let’s wait and see what the man has to say.

gets a bag of crisps and a cold beer for this one


“You know how complex women are”

  • Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

Coldfire - as I said previously, I have nothing to gain by exposing the man for what he truly is. I have cut the tie than binds me to him and have done my best to warn the others. He is a very charming manipulative person and gives off the impression that he is sweet and innocent. I feel truly sorry for the others than believe in him and love him. My children and I will suffer for a long time to come.

Hannu - bear your truth and 'fess up to us all!

:: Getting my blankets for the fireworks ::

Yer pal,

What it makes my OfficeGril Fiasco look like small potatoes…

Hey satan can I share yor blanket if I share my brandy?

Magnificent to behold - Greatly to be praised.

Wish I had a Grill in MY Office though, I’m starving…

Hey, can’t we hook gypsy up with O.G. ?


Man, there are some weird people out there…

opens a can of beer, tossing the remainder of the sixpack to Tamma, Satan and BMU


“You know how complex women are”

  • Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

You know, now that you mention it Cold, O.G. was telling me about some guy in Ontario that was married that was obsessing on her. Maybe it is the same guy!

Wow, we have a sorrid little affair happening here.

Glad I’m not the stalker Psycho type, or i’d be a busy boy this halloween. Lucky the Misfits concert on Saturday took out all my murderous urges.

Magnificent to behold - Greatly to be praised.

Thanks for the beer Coldfire. Does anyone have anything a bit stronger? I’m needing it right about now!

The OfficeGirl fiasco? What did I miss? Come on guys, I need my scandal fix since Melrose Place was canceled.

Gypsy, do you call all your women Baby Girl so you don’t screw up and call one the wrong name?

I thought these previous posts were kinda interesting:

If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

(Considering that they were both married, doesn’t this sorta tie in with “Is cybersex cheating?”)

OK,I’ll be the bad guy.

First, I’ll admit that I have no idean what kind of home life the kids had. There was no indication that they were threatened in any way, though–only that mom was unhappy with her “stale” marriage.

An affair will always be more fun than an ongoing relationship–because it’s adventurous, and (at least for a while) new.

But going back to my point, someone is unhappy with their “stale” marriage, and splits up their children’s home.

Now who’s really the victim?

Mjollnir - I suppose I opened myself up for that one. My husband and I had been seperated and living apart for some time when the gypsy rode into my life. Our children have shared custody. My husband was trying desperately to bring the family together, but because he was verbally abusive I was trying to make a new life. The gypsy promised me a different kind of life then what I was accustomed to. He also gave my children a different “view” of how a man should treat a woman. He charmed thier little hearts with the gentle way he spoke to me, the compassionate way he touched me, with his always tried to do my bidding, his stories of his native land, his military experiences, and the gifts he bought them. As I said, my dear gypsy is a charming manipulator.

< rides on into the thread > Okay…wait. First, Hannu is gypsy? Second, hell, I want to see the fireworks too! I’ve got the vodka…want some, Tammy?

And yep, Diane…there was an OfficeGirl soap opera as well. I’ll see if I can dig up the link, unless Burn wants to retell the story…

“Better people…better food…and better beer!”
-Neil Peart, Rush

Hey now!

What’s up with OG? Why you callin’ her weird, Coldfire? Just because she shaved her head, doesn’t mean anything.

Seriously, though, has anyone talked to her lately? Anyone got personal correspondence with our adventuress and poet? Curious to see how she’s doing.

And for the record, I think she’s done a very brave thing.

“I’m still here, asshole!”-Angus Bethune

Diane, I’d like to thank you for some of the quotes that you’ve given that my dear gypsy has written.

In regard to the “giving your heart away hurts like a son-of-a-bitch” and “where do the broken hearts go?” these were written because I had learned of my gypsy’s “wandering” and had broken off my relationship with him; at this point I was only aware that he was "entertaining his other female friends via the computer and telephone. In a pissed off mood I deleted hundreds of e-mails he’d written me; many of them begging my forgiveness and would I please take him back. If only the others could have read those!

As for his quote, “I am not good at keeping myself out of trouble, girlfriend rather mad when I continued to talk to people on-line… I said I would not… I lied, rest is history. AAhh what a sorrid tale of deception.” Spoken right out of the horse’s mouth (excuse me, the ass’s mouth). Doesn’t this tell all?

Hannu - the only thing I ever asked of you was to be given respect… nothing more, nothing less. Because of the love I felt for you, I tried to understand you and accept you as you were. Having friends of the opposite sex was not a problem with me, aren’t we adults? My problem came when the phone calls became a regular nightly ritual that occured hours on end. The end finally came a couple of nights ago when I confronted you about actually meeting, spending time with your “other,” and her writing on a thread that romance to her would be sending you “green garters with gummy bears of them,” and telling you to bring them the next time you visit. All the love you professed that you had for me and my children can be shoved straight up your ass right along with all your lies!

As I had posted a while ago, she was supposed to come to WA and the day before the arrived on her greyhound she changed her mind and went to Canada instead ( I found out by a voicemail message… classy no?)

Since then there have been no responses to my emails (go figure).

Last I heard (from a reliable source, she was heading to N Cali for something or other).

Magnificent to behold - Greatly to be praised.

Not to be inordinately cruel, Burn, but perhaps she did have that adventure with a stranger in Montana?

Heard anything from her family on the matter?

“I’m still here, asshole!”-Angus Bethune

Actually no, she had a guy who treated her like shit that she was orignally going to meet in Canada, and then realized he was an asshole. He called her the night before she left, and she met him instead, even after the way he had treated her and made her fell like shit on a regular basis during each of their conversations…

Not that I’m bitter or anything.

Let’s here it for love!


Love is just a lie.

Dang, this stuff is so depressing I almost feel the need to start some kind of happily married thread. My apologies to Tammy, because it sounds like you have been dealt a hand that you didn’t deserve.

All generalizations suck.

This statement right here is the number one reason I do not let my children get involved with the men I date.

If I become involved in a serious relationship, I let them spend time with the guy, do things together (camping, golfing, drive in movies, etc. Of course I am there with them), but I make it a point to ALWAYS keep them at an emotional arms length from one another.

No matter how great a guy may be, there is always the chance that the relationship might not work out. I am not about to put my kids on that emotional rollar coaster. Even if it is only a few men, young kids have a hard time having someone they care about ripped from their lives.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.