Lord, F the Rings – A Tolkien re-imagining for the apathetic.
Gone with the Win–Scarlett wins a lottery fortune and disappears.
What’s Eating Gilbert Rape?–Is forced oral sex really rape?
Alley of the Dolls–Bowling using Barbies instead of pins.
Planet of the Aps - Steve Jobs finally takes over.
Mr. Sith Goes to Washington - A naive young Jedi goes to Washington to fight the good fight against corrupt cynicism and wins, when he force chokes all of Congress.
Aw - the evil serial killer Jigsaw tortures his subjects to death by showing them viral videos of kittens doing impossibly cute things.
Fata Attraction - Yasser Arafat has a one-night stand, with terrible consequences for his pet bunny.
Free Illy - a store has an awesome sale on upscale coffee.
Die, Ard - Having defeated the ENGs (Evil Nazi Groundhogs), Scylla now has to deal with an infestation of African anteaters.
Rime and Punishment - Dostoevsky’s treatise on what to do with teenagers that forget the sprinkler is on all winter.
War and Pace - A novel set during the Russian picante sauce skirmish.
The Aristocats: Pussy joke.
Plus I’ve done it in two previous threads. “Winnie the Pooh plays Hide and Seek with Quakers”
Didn’t know about the YouTube video, though.
Sweeney Odd - “The Weirdo Barber of Fleet Street”
Rabbi-Proof Fence - The story of Australia’s controversial plan to keep out Jews.
**Shot Circuit **- Johnny Five is no longer alive!
Batma Begins - the untold story of Martha Wayne.
Hello, Olly! - Biopic about the early years of Laurel and Hardy.
King Pi - The reign of Louis 3.14.
Breaking Dan - Former vice-president encounters vampires.
Estworld - Werner Erhard robot gets out of control.
The Bad News Bars - Impassioned Prohibition proponent gives rousing speeches.
**The Kin and I **- Teacher falls for Siamese monarch, then discovers they are related.
**I, Rob’t **- Scotland’s favorite poet tells his life story.
Star Trek III: The Search for Sock: Star Fleet uses technology to solve an age old problem.
Free Wily: A boy and his coyote.
28 Days Late - A documentary about the first month of an unplanned pregnancy.
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Hoe: “You’re proposing we go back in time, pick up a couple of gardening tools, bring them forward in time, and hope the hell they tell that probe what to go do with itself.”
Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Cuntry: “Not everyone has their genitals in the same place.”
No County For Old Men: A Texas County board passes legislation closing all retirement homes.
Mostly Armless: Arthur Dent’s adventures after meeting the Graxor the Arm Remover of Galaxy TX9.
The Wonderful Wizard of O:
Not sure which way I want to go with this one.
The Book of Moron:
Nah – too easy.
Pocahotas – do I really need to describe this?
Travels with Harley – Author takes off on his motorcycle in search of America.
**Transpotting **-- an afternoon of people watching in the Castro.
*Forrest Ump: *Mentally challenged guy gets a job in major league baseball.
*The Ion King: *Powerful African molecule loses an electron.
*The Even Year Itch: *Marilyn Monroe has psoriasis in 1951 . . . 1953 . . . 1955 . . .
*Sunday in the Ark with George: *A pointillist painting of one of Noah’s monkeys.
*Sweeney Odd. *The really strange barber of Fleet Street.
*Hell, Dolly!: *Aw shucks, Mrs. Levi!
*Bon on the Fourth of July: *Sarkozy has a good time on U.S. Independence Day.
*Superma: *She cooks! She cleans! She carpools! She nags!
*Olive!: *Popeye calls out to his missing girlfriend.
*Whatever Happened to Baby Jan? *The story of one of the Brady kids, from infancy to geriatrics.
*Easy Ride: *The story of a female astronaut and her self-destructive moral descent.
*Hose: *Medical mystery about a cantankerous doctor and his fetish for women’s stockings.
Silence of the Labs: No research into the minds of serial killers is being done.
2 Angry Men: The prequel which shows the probable events leading to the arrest and trial
The Maltese Falco: A rare, jeweled copy of “Star Fox” goes missing.
How I Met You, Mother A man telling the story of his birth to his mother who has Alzheimer’s
Three Cons in the Fountain – an escape tunnel ends up in the strangest place
FireOx – Clint Eastwood sneaks into Russia to hijack the Soviet Union’s new supersonic Cargo Hauler
The! – A very specific horror movie
Dr. O – James Bond in his first film, facing a Submissive woman with a Ph.D.
Godfinger – Bond vs. a televangelist
You Only Lie Twice – Ernst Stavro Blofeld always was hard on repeat offender underlings
A View to Kill – James Bond at a literally beath-taking site
Cash of the Titans – Perseus tries to buy his way out of his problems
The Bids – Hitchcock’s forgotten film about auctions
Bedknobs and Boomsticks – ash finds that a bedstead came through the Portal, too, and tries to use it against the Army of Darkness
Aw – movies about cute kittens…
Aw 2 --and puppies!
Aw 3 …and little pigs!
Aw 4! …and sloths!
Aw 5 …and cute sloths!
Aw 6 …and Fennec Foxes!
Aw 3D – so damned cute and almost touchable that you’ll die! Cutely!