Do I call back a second time?

Don’t you dare call her.
She said she’d call you. That means two thing: One, if she calls she’s interested, and if she isn’t, she won’t, and she’s expecting you to take the hint. Two, it means don’t you dare call her! 'I’ll call you" means…I’ll call you (not.)"
She sent you a very clear message, without the wonders of telecommunication!

You’ve interpreted the situation correctly. Calling her again doesn’t make you creepy, but, it does show that one is a dork/clueless. She’s wasted enough of your time.

Can’t help you on the ‘fish in the sea’ scenario.


I think this is the best post of this thread; simple, good advice along with an accurate reading of the situation described in the OP. You have nothing to lose by calling a second time, but don’t build up any unrealistic expectations of her possible responses.

I can’t say I’ve ever thought less of a guy for making that one follow-up call.

See above.

Do some mature women still like being chased when it comes to courting ?

From the on line adds I peruse there’s one thing that appears to be a constant amongst woman. “no head games”

I’m the same, if she said she’d call and doesn’t. I’m assuming she’s not interested and move on.

Post deleted.

:confused:wha?:confused: lmfao?

^^ Honestly, no one could have been more surprised than I was to see that I had apparently posted! I was just reading along in the thread, interested but with no urge to contribute my two cents, when I come upon a nonsensical post with my username!!! My cat had crossed my keyboard a couple times in the last minute or two (it’s on his way from one favorite resting place to another), so all I can figure is that he somehow did this? Not quite sure if that is really possible, but I have no other explanation!

Either that or it’s a ghost kitty!

If she was really interested in you, she would have kissed you on the first date… at least a kiss on the cheek. I’m afraid a friend hug doesn’t cut it as “interested.”

Online dating has never worked for me. I think it is just better to meet women in person and get the number the ol’ fashioned way. I ran into a lot of psychos on dating sites (this is from my experience only).

I’ve gone on to have sex with women who I didn’t even hug on the first date. It’s odd but yeah, some people aren’t high on physical contact. Hell, one in particular we went out twice and never made more than brief incidental contact and on the third date we slept together, so like 99% of these rules I’ve heard in my life, it isn’t a rule at all just a reflection of the person espousing it and their experiences.

Did she give the ‘back pat’ during the hug, too?

There is no set answer that fits every situation, esp since none of us know her in even a casual way so as to be able to interpret things, but the basic signal to me is her taking the calling job from you.

As usual, this the Dope, so YMMV!

Just to be clear, I did say “If… you really can’t tell.” If he gets a perfunctory refusal with another transparent excuse and a clear desire to finish the conversation, I think he can take the hint. I’m just saying it’s not inexcusable to politely request clarification if things are too ambiguous.
For the record, it is inexcusable to intentionally ignore hints just so there’s an opportunity to punish the woman in question by rudely forcing her to be rude back.

Wow…I was not expecting this to evolve into an actual thread. Thanks to all for the feedback. Really.

I’ll update in the future.

I don’t think I’d put it that way.

And update us either way. I hate reading these dating threads and never finding out what ever happened.

It’s a tough situation, esp if like you said prospects are rare, but I have to agree with ReticulatingSplines. She said she’d call, let her call. If she doesn’t, this is a very bad sign that things are wrong. The ball is in her court because she took it. Stand down and lay low.

Sorry, kid; you either missed the whole point of her saying "I’ll call you,’ or you’re an outlier.
And, the idea isn’t to be thought of in good terms, the idea is a second date, which, I’ll prophesy, ain’t gonna happen.

Is it at all possible that she lost your number?

Unpossible. Her name is Ricki.