But things happen…maybe she honestly did lose his number somehow. Or maybe her Dad died and it hasn’t exactly been her top priority. Or maybe she forgot that she was supposed to be the one to call.
Now, it’s entirely likely that she’s trying to blow him off, but I don’t see what harm it would do to make the call. Either way, at least he won’t have to wonder “what if?”
I’m sorry, but these are just the things we tell ourselves to keep us holding on hope.
Yes, the OP should make one last ditch effort to reach out just because he has nothing to lose. But let’s not go out of the way to encourage delusional thoughts.
Remember that they met online. This means she can reach him by email and phone. So if she lost his phone number, she could have easily fallen back on email. If Dad died, it takes all of five seconds to let him know that via any one of the two methods of communication available to her. If she forget that she was supposed to call, she might have Alzheimer’s, and the OP needs dodge that bullet while he can.
He didn’t say he met her on line. He said he was issuing and on line plea to us for help. Actually he didn’t say how he met her. And people do lose numbers (speaking from sad experience here).
I’m in the call-once-more camp, but think the odds are bad enough as to not buy the tickets in advance if you have no other use for them.
But for me to offer dating advice is laughable. (Though I’d have much more success at dating 40 years ago if I knew then what I know now.) I came here to respond to this:
Are the F-keys mapped as shortcuts for Reply and Submit? If so, I find this believable especially since the locations of “aoklqw” almost map to plausible paw locations!
I’ve often wondered about such mistaken keystrokes, especially with short sequences (e.g. “rm *”) that can be disastrous. And indeed there are a few documented instances of multi-million dollar losses due to simple typos.
Nobody says “Wow, that date was great. This guy is a lot of fun and I think there is some real chemistry. You know I’ll do? I’ll not ever call him again.” People who are really in to other people find ways to be with that person, not ways to not be with that person. This is true 100% of the time.
You have three solid signs of disinterest- the hug close, the rejected date on a weak excuse (you don’t spend 24/7 with a client) and not being called back. I’m not sure what more you’d need to put your mind at ease. I think it’s pretty clear that whatever chemistry you felt was one-sided.
But go ahead and call if it makes you feel better, but know it’s 99% sure to be a lost cause.
Really? No middle ground between “OMG that guy was awesome and I can’t wait to call him wait where’s my phone I’ll call him right now” and “Ugh no way never again”? According to the OP, it’s been a couple of weeks, which is a bit soon to say “and she never called him again.” It is in fact possible to be very busy on a project for a couple weeks. It is in fact possible to meet a guy and like him just fine and not make seeing him again right away your absolute 100% top priority because you just can’t. It is possible to meet a guy and not be “really into him” right away but get to like him better as you get to know him, if he expresses that he’s still interested. Speaking from experience here.
Timing means a lot. If she did get swamped with something, she may be figuring she missed her opportunity and decided to let it slide. It wouldn’t hurt to give her a call and indicate that window is still open. One phone call in a couple of weeks doesn’t make you a stalker creep. As so many people have already said in this thread, at least you’ll know one way or another.
I think it boils down to, “it might make her like you less, but in that case you weren’t going to see her again anyway so who gives a shit.” Call.
You know, I’m still kind of mystified about this. I definitely noticed that the “aoklqw” fits the pattern of how his paws would hit the keyboard. And he does walk right across it; if I’m typing an email, he will definitely add his comments! But as far as I know, the F-keys aren’t mapped for Reply and Submit. (Might that be a default mapping, or would I have had to set that myself? Because I have never done that.)
I don’t know, really. All I know is it was very strange to be reading a thread and come upon a post from myself!
OP, sorry for the hijack! I haven’t posted about your question because I’m not really sure. Fwiw, I lean towards the why not call her, you never know and what do you have to lose camp, but – I have to say the being with a client excuse does seem weird (unless she meant she would be out of town on business, but why not say that?), and the “I’ll call you” thing is not a good sign. But again, you never know, might as well try.
I wouldn’t call back myself. But you probably shouldn’t listen to me as I would not call back any woman who ended the date with a hug.
I wouldn’t call. If she was interested, she’d call you. Since she didn’t, you may assume she isn’t.
I’ll have to agree-not calling somebody for a couple weeks definitely means that they are not an absolute 100% top priority. As a matter of fact, I’d rank it right under getting a barium enema.
And, not calling for a couple of weeks *is *too soon to say 'She never called him again." It is soon enough, tho, to say “She’s never *gonna *call him again!”
Up-Date!
Up-Date!
Up-Date!
hh
She was going to call him, but she got her arm stuck in her car window, see…
I’m female and firmly in the camp of “nothing to lose by calling”. I used to be terribly worried about being perceived as “desperate” or “needy” but I’ve really changed my philsophy on this one.I think in actual fact people don’t think these negative things of us half as often as we ourselves fear. Most people like attention, even if they are unable to return the affection. And even if they did think less of me, well, that would just be their misperception, nothing for me to get very worked up about. Be confident of your own great dateness and move on gracefully if it doesn’t work. Not everyone likes everyone, but IMO you wouldn’t be a dork for trying.
Her hug at the end of the date wasn’t a good sign. But I gotta say … you didn’t kiss her, either (or try to, from what I can tell) … which IME means you may not be that into her, either. (YMMV of course, you may be living in a culture where a kiss at the end of the first date is considered inappropriate.)
That said … if you call ONE more time, no, it’s not creepy. If she says no and gives you ANY excuse other than “my (close relative) died” or “I’ve had pneumonia” or “I was attacked by a honey badger,” move on.
Update.
Never called.
Why?
I just got back from 30 days straight of flood response work way up in Northwestern BC. No internet, no cell phones and I obviously wasn’t going to use the sat phone for inconsequential things. Was sent up on short notice and didn’t get a chance to call again (part being rushed out the door by my boss, part being in love with emergency work). Missed op? Possibly, although the signs weren’t good. No worries. I believe a previous posted mused that sometimes other things do get in the way.
Cheers,
You’re going to call her right away aren’t you? Think of all you’ll have to talk about on your next date. She could now be wishing she called you but also thinking it’s too late.
On a side note: My husband, before we met, wanted to go out with my sister. She kept saying she was busy and she would call but it never happened, he felt blown off. She was busy and she would have gone out with him. Fortunately she annoys the hell out of him now so I’m not worried there are any thoughts of missed opportunities.
I’m confused as to why one would consider a ‘Hey, let me call you when I know what my schedule is?’ as a rejection. If it were a guy saying he’d call, is a girl supposed to figure that for a no-go? I mean, don’t hang around NOT making plans but geez. Yeah…have a little confidence here. She said she’d call. If she doesn’t, she’s either forgetful or kind of a jerk and you can move on. But don’t stress about it.
EDIT…'cause I didn’t read the later post. >.<
But see, perfect example. People have lives, especially interesting-to-get-to-know ones. Give her a call and let her know you’ve been busy, but hey, time for coffee or something?
It’s probably for the best you didn’t call her again. You did what you needed to do by calling her the first time and, if she were really interested, she would’ve called back.
I get the location thing being an issue. Perhaps trying online dating websites would be beneficial? I tried one once and met a guy about a month in. We’ve been dating now for almost 3 years and he was the first one I actually met up with in person. He lives about 45 minutes out of town…but we’ve made it work.