Mouse_Spouse has an ex-wife. She’s a sore point between the two of us because Spouse still gives her money. He’s not legally bound to pay alimony and they didn’t have children. He tried to cut her off (at my insistence), but this sloth-ridden tart and her fucking boyfriend kept calling him. They said that she’d be on the street without any sort of help. Spouse is to god damned lazy to change his cell phone number, so I grudgingly agreed that we’d pay some of this leech’s rent. (I want to cut her off completely in February. Spouse will have to decide which he wants more: me or his current phone number.)
We’ve been slammed with snow. You know things are serious when they close the malls four days before X-mas . The Ex has been calling – she’s caught at work. (This hagfish is fucking working and we’re stilling giving her money! WTF?) She wants Spouse to come get her in his four-wheel drive – buses aren’t even running.
“I don’t want you to go,” I said.
“She needs help!”
“Ex only calls when she wants something.”
“Yeah, so does your mother.” Spouse retorted.
“We don’t give Mother Maven money and I do tell her ‘no’ on a regular basis. Doesn’t Ex have friends or co-workers that can help her?”
“Nope, she doesn’t have anyone and she’s bummed that she couldn’t go see her boyfriend.”
“Well, that’s her fucking problem. She decided to get involved with someone living in another country. You shouldn’t risk your neck to help an ungrateful bitch.”
Fucking hell! I want to call this blood-sucking woman up and tell her to stay out of our life! I love my husband, but he need to learn the difference between being a gentleman and being a chump.
Mouse I may be reading too much into this, but your husband has a serious problem that needs to be addressed right away. The choice you should give him isn’t you or his phone number, but you or her. And stick to your guns.
There’s no way that you guys should be giving her money (no way, no how), but I think that a ride in the snow might be reasonable. I spent 9 hours on an RTD bus yesterday getting home, and in emergencies like this, I really don’t think it’s time to consider all of the petty relationship shit. But once the snow dries off, tell her (or tell your husband to tell her) that she can hit the street over to McDonalds and start working for her next rent payment.
Offer to deal with changing his cell phone number for him. If he’s using that as an excuse (as I suspect he might be), that will call his bluff. I’m sure you could do it if you’re both on the same cell phone plan.
The Ex works out at BlackHawk for one of the hotels. I’d be more understanding if I thought she didn’t have a place to stay.
Part of me sympathies with Mouse_Spouse. I have an ex-husband who really messed with my head. He made me feel very guilty about us breaking up. I finally realized that I wasn’t responsible for ex-husband’s happiness and I haven’t seen him in years. Spouse hasn’t reached this point yet.
What the hell does this mean? She’s not the “second wife”, at least not in the splinter-faction LDS sense. She’s the wife, and the ex-wife is the former wife, with the precedence this entails.
The asking a ride home in a desperate circumstances strikes me as not being that big deal in isolation; it falls under the category of basic decency and curtesy. In the wider context of begging money, calling regularly for other favors, et cetera, however, it’s over the top. And the boyfriend calling as her proxy? Seriously, whiskey tango foxtrot, who does this? Is the new fella just as much of a chump as the ex-fella, or is he a schemer, too?
Methinks the Spouse Mouse needs to draw a line in the sand, or better yet, erect a moat, complete with piranhas (or sharks with freakin’ laser beams, if that’s your thing). But don’t take it from me; get it from the mouth of the counsellor both of you are going to go see, pronto, before this gets further out of hand.
And if she calls again for a ride, perhaps you should be the one to go out and fetch her, if it has to be done. After a few episodes of your cold shoulder, I’m guessing she’ll chill and go find some other dope to do her bidding.
sputter
Wha…?
How is it that some of you seem like such reasonable and smart people until you tell a story like this? Mouse, I really like you, so I mean this in the most serious way possible…
Grow a pair. You don’t need any of us to tell you what to do. You know what to do if you want this to stop. There’s only so much a sane person puts up with.
Sweetie, I hate to say it, but you shouldn’t have married him until he was over his ex.
I think you need to have a long sitdown with him, no arguing, and help him see how this is hurting this marriage. Offer to go to counseling with him. You guys need to fix this sooner rather than later.
Relax. I’m referring to the priority that Mouse Spouse seems to be treating our Mouse Maven…second, not first. She is the second wife he’s had, and currently she is not the first in his priority, since he is not respecting her feelings and is prepared to hurt the family finances to help an ex.
. The Ex has been calling – she’s caught at work. (This hagfish is fucking working and we’re stilling giving her money! WTF?) She wants Spouse to come get her in his four-wheel drive – buses aren’t even running.