Hello everyone!
I have a request of you. My tape of “Dress to Kill” is worn down to a nub. It hardly plays anymore despite cleaning both my tape and my VCR. If anyone has a nice copy of that, or his older performance “Glorious” could you please let me know via email? Other than that… Je suis La Presidente de Burundi.
punk snot dead,
brococli!
broccoli@gospeedgo.com
Like, three minutes ago, I posted about eddie, and i DO have a copy of “dress to kill”
“tea and cake, or death?”
dammit, forgot this…
yeah - that’s what made me post this. I’ve shown that tape to about 250 people, that’s why it won’t play anymore.
“Death please, oh I mean CAKE!”
“ahh-ah-ah, you said death…”
“Aww… c’mon”
“Alrighty… it’s a good thing I’m Church of England”
“Well then, i’ll have the chicken, thank you.”
“Taste of human. Thank you for flying Church of England, cake or death?”
Sorry I can’t help you out with a copy. But I just wanted to say that I freakin’ love Eddie Izzard. The first time I saw him (on HBO) I just about soiled myself.
“Hi I’m CRAZY EDDIE! I put babies on spikes! You want babies on spikes? Have a rack of babies!”
“First battalion, transvestite brigade, airbone wing, coming win with fantastic makeup.”
“Hey, look at that… what the hell they’ve got GUNS! Oh damn. I was surprised, were you surprised, cause i was surprised.”
“I… just can’t get… this… tree right, Oh HELL I will kill EVERYONE IN THE WORLD!”
“you killed a million people? you must get up very early in the morning. … Getup, shower, breakfast, death, death, death, death, lunch, death, death,death,death,death, afternoon tea, death…”
That is one saved fuckin’ Queen.
We pronounce it “herb.” Because it’s got a bloody “h” in it.
“Send big dogs aaaaaafter her, that bite her bum.”
[hijak]
Thoughts of the Sex Pistols playing “God save the Queen” on a boat on the Thames because they weren’t allowed to play it in clubs
[/hijak]
Right now my copy of “Dress to Kill” is on loan (for the millionth time), but my best friend found hers on Amazon, so you might try that. She said it’s a slightly different version, though.
“I’ve got legs. Do you like … bread?”
Well, I’m no help either, but I wanted to add my love for Eddie. I wish I had been in the presence of mind to tape it when he was on HBO. Eddie almost made me wet my pants!
(from laughing, I mean. He doesn’t break into my house and force me to hold my bladder or anything.)
There’s no smoking in the bars in California. Soon, there’ll be no drinking and no talking.
Christ, I laughed so hard when I saw “Dress to Kill” I couldn’t breathe. I don’t have the tape, but I’ve watched it on HBO nearly every time it’s been on. The Emmys he got for that show were truly well deserved.
'Allo, Sue! I’ve got legs. D’you like…bread? I’ve got a French loaf. whump Byeeee! I love you…
And I swam like a boy chased by sharky sharky…
He’s a donut. It’s slang, he’s a fucking donut…
“Luke…the Force is strong with you.”
“Is it?”
“Um…yeah.”
“Well, who told you that?”
“Some bloke. He said that the Force is really rather strong with you.”
“Well, how strong?”
“Uh…as strong as a small pony.”
“Well, that’s quite strong, that is!”
She was like China in the United Nations Security Council…the United Nations Security Council of my virginity.
No flag, no country. Those are the rules that I’ve…just made up.
Look, you’re British, so scale it down a bit, all right?
…
I just showed Dress to Kill to my parents over the weekend–it’s the extended version, has about thirty-five minutes more than it did on HBO.
Oh, and Definite Article is nearly as funny*…but get the CD, if you can. It’s better than the video.
[sub]*Horses have four bits of luckiness nailed to their feet. They should be the luckiest animals in the world! They should win all their horse races, at least. "At the track today, all the horses tied for first…one horse dropped a shoe and came in sixth…a duck was ninth…and five ran.[/sub]
The Falkland Islands…we need the Falkland Islands, for strategc sheep purposes.
Where did you get the extended version?
“So I said I wanted to work in a SHOE SHOP…”