Effective pick up lines

I took a gander at your home page–you are very pretty!

But, don’t believe all these guys who say that “if you are cute and he is straight & single, he will go out with you.” Why do I say that?

Well, just in case he does say no, I don’t want you to conclude that you are not attractive. He might have un-knowable reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with you.

I vote that you should ask him to do something that means that you will be spending time together, but can not be construed as a date. Like ask him to study together or something. See if he jumps at the chance. If you say “Hey wanna study for the exam tog…” And he says “Yes! Where when? I’ll be there!!” that tells you something. If he says yes, and you meet outside of class, and there are no sparks, that tells you something. If he likes you, he will probably not say no to something like that.

Do not ask him to lunch “sometime.” Why? Because that leaves him no graceful way out if he does not want to go for some reason. So, say “do you want to go to lunch on Friday?” If he says “no, busy.” That is no. If he says “Can’t on Friday, what about Saturday?” then he really can’t go on Friday, but he wants to see you. If he says yes, well, then that’s yes.

Good luck!

SW…

if he says no, dont worry, there’s plenty more fish in the sea. Be natural, and ask him about something you 2 have in common, like your class. Asking him for notes sounds like a good idea.

My best ever chat up line, (ok, the best of the 2 that have ever worked)

Get a glass of ice cubes, go over to him, drop an ice cube on the ground, stand on it and then say,
“Now that we’ve broken the ice…”

Corny, but it worked…

by the way, my favourite is
“get your coat love, you’ve scored.”


“I’m a rebel, soul rebel. I’m a capturer, soul adventurer”
~Bob Marley

SwimmingRiddles - first of all, great pic!

Now, down to business: I’m with Sealemon, OgreFade, and most of the others - screw the pickup lines. Go with something simple, beginning with an introduction. Possibilities:

Ask if he wants to study with you.
Ask him what he’s doing after class. Ask him if he’d like to go for coffee/lunch after class is over, or after classes are done for the day.
Or a movie, or putt-putt golf, or an art exhibit on or near campus, or a walk, if there’s somewhere pretty nearby to walk. (In Vermont, I think the odds would be good.) You get the idea. Stuff that either isn’t ‘date’ stuff at all, or very lite in that direction, but gets you and him some one-on-one time to get to know each other, and find out if any sparks are kindled.

Main thing is, relax: while it’s never a sure thing, the odds are way on your side.

Speaking as a longtime member of the intelligent but not especially outgoing class of male, we generally know we have something to offer the opposite sex, but we’re slow in figuring out how to get that message across, slow in learning to take the initiative romantically. We tend to appreciate a woman who takes some of that burden off our shoulders.

OTOH, I disagree with spoke- on the (deliberate) body language. Your photo is of a strikingly good-looking young woman, but definitely not of the flirtygiggly type, thank God. (If you were, I’d wonder how the devil you found your way here!) Stay within yourself; be the person you are. After all, you want to find somebody who likes the real you, not a ‘you’ that you put on like a part in a play.

That’s my 2¢ hope it helps. Whatever you do, good luck - we’ll be rooting for you!

Oh for crying out loud, RT, don’t be such a kiss-up! :wink:

Now did I say a damn thing about “giggling”?

And if you have a problem with flirting, then I pity you. Flirting is one of the most joyful parts of life.

I stick by my guns. Body language is as important a part of flirting as the spoken word.

First of all, this is the first time I’ve gotten into this thread all day. Everyone can disregard my post in the Flirting thread, because this thread has done my ego a world of good. Thank you. :slight_smile:

Secondly, here’s my plan of attack: we have a major project that we have to work in pairs with. Last time I just worked alone, because between work and school, I wouldn’t have been able to work with anyone else. He worked with this chick. I didn’t get to see their presentation, because I was on vacation. So I didn’t get to see if he worked with her because he needed a partner or because they are together. (seems a lot of couples are taking this course. Feh.) But through careful observation, (well, not REALLY,) I’ve noticed they rarely if ever sit together. So I want to snark him away from the other chick for the project. I’m thinking a “so what are you thinking about doing your project on?” segueing into a “so are you working with anyone?” How does that rate on the sauve meter? And any suggestions for finding out if he’s seeing anyone without sounding like I’m trying to find out if he’s seeing anyone?

Forgive the ungrammatical nature of the post. I’m on an Everlasting Gobstopper high.


DON PEDRO: Your silence most offends me, and to be merry best becomes you; for, out of question, you were born in a merry hour.

BEATRICE: No, sure, my lord, my mother cried; but then there was a star danced, and under that was I born. -Much Ado About Nothing, Act II, Sc: i

Good luck with your class project approach, although what if he doesn’t realize you wanted to work with him for social reasons?

If I lived in Burlington, VT and I liked Chunky Monkey ice cream (which I do, BTW) I would use that to my advantage and invite someone to take the Ben & Jerry’s factory tour with me. Since it is a tour (like a movie) you don’t have those awkward silence periods and everyone likes ice cream, right?

Actually the factory is in Waterbury, Vt, which is something like an hour outside Burlington. And with me, there’s never an awkward silence. The danger is of the opposite happening, me prattling on and on. I tend to prattle when nervous. (First name: Brooke. Babbling Brooke. hardee har har. Last time my mother anticpated anything.)

I’m fine with gradually using my charm and feminine whiles to clue him into the fact that I would be open to a social visit. Plus, from a strictly achidemic point of view, he’s smarter than hell, and I couldn’t pick a finer person to work with.

An hour from Burlington to Waterbury?!?!?!?!

I’ve only been to VT once, but I don’t remember it taking that long. Are you sure you’ve not been driving with your parking break on?

Oh well, I enjoyed my brief stay in the area so much I suppose an hour could have seemed like 15 minutes. Good luck with it.

SwimmingRiddles - I’d say that’s a great plan - go with it! :slight_smile:

spoke-: with all due respect, there are lots of different ways to flirt. You’ve got to go with what’s natural for you. If SwimmingRiddles is the sort who can pull off the heavily obvious, stand-extra-close, extra touching, smiling flirtatiously sorta thing, then fine. But I spent a lot of years teaching college (and watching college students), and I must admit I have a certain picture of the type of girl who takes that approach. And it just doesn’t look like SR.

SR - far be it from me to tell you not to flirt; I wholeheartedly agree with spoke- on the joys of flirting. But I wouldn’t recommend consciously adopting a particular style of flirting, just for the situation at hand.

Anyway, you’ve got an excellent plan. I’ll bet things go swimmingly! :wink:

Hey, some guys are dense. Some are shy. I’m not saying to be “heavily obvious”. I am saying that clear signals are a good thing, particularly if the guy has any lack of self-confidence. It will help him get over any fear of rejection if he is pretty sure that if he asks to see you socially, you’re gonna say yes.

Oh yeah and:

Now, now. Let’s not be judgmental. I think a lot of shy guys would very much appreciate that approach. But you’re right, RT: you do have to find the flirting style that suits you.

I’m more of a verbal-banter type flirter. It doesn’t work all the time, but when it does, I come off as a much more interesting person than if I pull the sexual-flirting thing. (ie: giggling, hair tossing, saying: “Oh…you.” etc.)

Swimming, I’ve seen your picture; I’d have dated you in a heartbeat purely on looks, and then probably would have come to like you just for yourself.

Just be yourself, and don’t try too hard. If it is meant to be it’ll work.

Best of luck, hon.


VB

Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well.

Swimming:

I have to admit that your plan of attack is EXACTLY as I would have recommended. It has all the advantages of a great plan: it is subtle, failure will not lead to an outwardly observable ego-deflation, and, even if the relationship thing doesn’t work out, you still have a potential benefit.

And I echo the comments of the other folks who have seen your pix – with your plan and appearance the a priori probability of success is asymptotic to 1.0.

Success is yours. Go forth and conquer!

Eissclam

Once I tried: Do you have the notes from (fill in blank)? Oh good can I copy them? He said sure lets go find a copy machine. I took the longessssssst route to the library then went to the machine on the 3rd floor and we talked the whole time. A good ice breaker. Anytime you have a class together you have a built in conversation starter. Borrow notes, study together, do a project together. You can test the waters and if he isn’t interested or does have someone else you can still have a friend and hey he might have a friend who is available.

So I asked Mr. Ujest, if I were not in the picture. If he had never met me, the wonderful wife I am, etc, what would be his pick up line at the bar. His answer, perhaps, would be the most effective of all as it went for the sympathy and rebound angle.

“Well, since I cannot imagine you not in my life, I must assume that this would be after you are dead. I would walk up to the prettiest girl in the bar and say, " I haven’t had sex since my wife died.”

(Naturally, I responded to this will with a brilliant comeback, " And I haven’t had sex since the day I married either."

Brooke, your plan sounds pretty good - go for it.

I do have one reservation. If he is shy, he may have a hard time trusting that just because you want to work on a project/study together/copy notes, that translates to wanting a social encounter. At some point you need to skip the pretense, cut through the hemming and hawing, don’t wait for him to buy a clue - say something overt and to the point. It doesn’t have to be “Wanna fuck?” as so eloquently suggested by others. It just has to avoid all ambiquity.

This comes from the bright but clueless. Been there, not being quite sure if I’m really is getting the signals I think I am. Wondering if she’s really interested or just wanting a study buddy.

Also, while I agree with the sentiment that you are very attractive, that is not always a guarantee. He may think you are out of his league. Or he might have reservations that he doesn’t know how to express. Just be too shy to take action. (Shy guys are very good at finding excuses to not put themselves in jeopardy of rejection. Ambiguity is a good excuse.)

Thus, find an appropriate time/place and tell him you’re interested. Subtle is not good - subtle will be missed. Trust Me. Ask to work on the project. When he says yes (I’m being positive here) and you get a natural opportunity - be it over lunch discussing the project, or after school or whatever - find a reason (make one up if you need one) and confess one reason you asked if he wanted to work together was because you like him and are interested.

If some girl had done/said that to me, I’d have been ecstatic. It melts those excuses right away. (I’d still like that to happen to me.)

Hope it works out. (Or that I can be second in line. :wink: )

As a man who, in the romantic arena, traditionally has made Hamlet look like a hyperthyroid paratrooper, I must concur with Irishman. Shy guys will typically find any excuse to believe that you’re not interested, so a little overt expression (it needn’t be lewd) would probably be helpful.

The plan you’ve outlined sounds great, though. A little dissembling, a little class-mandated time to hang out, and whammo, before you know it, you don’t even need to lay down the mack, 'cause he’s already been charmed out of his shoes.

Godspeed.


“Are you frightened of snakes?”
“Only when they dress like werewolves.”
-Preacher

Godspeed isn’t nearly fast enough! Go to Ludicrous Speed!

(0.5 point reference)

She’s gone plaid!


“Are you frightened of snakes?”
“Only when they dress like werewolves.”
-Preacher