I thought it was a weird old string instrument with a crank…
(Of course, the instrument I always really wanted to learn was the musical saw… try to find someone to teach lessons on THAT bad boy…)
Did I say that I was looking for a guy?
Are you getting out? I hear this all the time - “I can’t meet people”, but then when I ask, they have no hobbies. You can’t meet girls at home.
About using dogs to get chicks - this is a risky proposition.
If you’re going to do it, MAKE SURE YOU CAN CONTROL THE DOG. A guy with a dog running around all over the place, jerking his arm on the leash and not obeying his commands is not going to impress anyone. You’ll look like an ineffectual fool, not to mention you’ll be broadcasting the idea that your dog is the one in charge.
On the other hand, a guy taking a stroll with a nice, decent-sized dog like a lab or hound who walks smoothly by his side will always look classy.
I only look for women who are available.
A married woman would have to go to a lot of effort to convince me that she was available, starting with ‘meet the husband and demonstrate that everything is aboveboard’. (Ref: threads on open marriages.)
I have not met such a woman.
Nope. That’d be why I said “if”.
Not true! This is what the internet is for. Try online dating. It does work and you can do it in your pajamas, for free.
How much does it cost if you want to do it naked?
$14.95/month, and it links you up to everyone else doing it nekkid.
$14.95 to link up to nekkid people.
$14.95 to link up to Dopers.
$14.95 to link up to nekkid people.
$14.95 to link up to Dopers.
Well, it’s been nice knowing y’all!
When I was single and about 25, a friend gave me excellent advice: go do something that you genuinely like to do. Stay at it for awhile. When you find that you’re really having fun, look up.
Volunteering is also an excellent idea. I used to do a lot of volunteering for the PBS and NPR stations where I lived, and met a ton of really nice people. Some of them were my age, and some of them had sons my age. 
Where I lived, there was actually a young professional volunteer organization, although I can’t remember the name of it (Ambassadors Something?). The organization supplied volunteer staff to events several times a week, ranging from ushering at NBA games (any money earned was donated to charity) to manning water tables at benefit walks. You signed up for those events that you found interesting. I never joined because I worked too much, but a colleague said he met mad amounts of interesting women through that organization. Perhaps you could see if there is a similar organization in your area.
I wavered over posting this, but I rgought it’a in your best interest to put aside the euphwmisms for the moment. Do you want to MEET women or FIXK women? Or maybe just fuck one, because you’re not greedy?
I was unaware there is a shortage of women in Tennessee, so in care you are unaware, you can MEET women and even socialize with them, EXACTLY as you meet and socialize with men.
As far as fucking women, it is my experience that THEY choose YOU. Wear clean underwear at all times, keep a condom handy, and be ready. It’s somewhat like getting hit by a bolt of lightning.
For the sake of honest disclosure, please note the following. I am single and never been married, pushing 50, abd dateleess for a long timw. Odds are excellent that if you ignore everything I say, you will do as well or better than otherwise.
Yep, Brendan from Dead Can Dance played it when they toured last year.
[QUOTE=StuffLikeThatThere]
When I was single and about 25, a friend gave me excellent advice: go do something that you genuinely like to do. Stay at it for awhile. When you find that you’re really having fun, look up.
[quote]
Drat!
…
I like gaming and writing. Not exactly team sports, mind you.
I like the ideas about volunteering.
No, I’m not using euphemisms at all. I can quite easily go weeks without actually talking to a woman in even a casual conversation. Sure, I can meet them, and have those “starter” conversations, but it goes nowhere from there. I really have no clue what to do.
I was not exactly in the popular crowd in High School. In fact, I’ve successfully asked out exactly two girls so far, one of which was a traditionalist Persian who dropped me approximately .2 seconds into our first date after finding out I was (horror of horrors!) a year younger than her. The other… well, she was moving much faster and was much more seriously than myself, and we just didn’t have anything to talk about. Plus, I endured some serious loss during the relationship and that kinda killed things.
Sex? Heh. I’m a Catholic. A devout Catholic. Read? Marriage.
Hey, wait until you’re 40 and single like me. The very few women near my age that appear the slightest bit attractive to me are already married to somebody else. I’m part of the new “most unmarriageable” group in America, the over-40 guy with no college degree (which just reinforces my belief that the primary criteria that women use when selecting a mate is “earning potential”).
The women I do find attractive … well, I was chatting with one at work and found out I’m a year older than her mom.
Sigh.
[QUOTE=smiling bandit]
[QUOTE=StuffLikeThatThere]
When I was single and about 25, a friend gave me excellent advice: go do something that you genuinely like to do. Stay at it for awhile. When you find that you’re really having fun, look up.
My mistake. I apologize for any offense.
I tried online dating once and let me just say - NEVER AGAIN. I got taken for a bit of a ride and it was an overall horrible experience which I will never repeat.
I can. I have had pretty good luck at the gym.
I’m not really an expert on the subject but I have a lot better luck when I’m at a place where I feel comfortable (for me, it’s the gym or a bookstore). If you’re looking for sex, try a bar and learn how to dance.
This is so true. All you can do is put yourself out there, be social, be a gentleman, do what you want to do in terms of hobbies/volunteering/etc, improve yourself (everything from social skills to financial situation to physical fitness), minimise things that drag on your life such as that job that depresses you… and try to have as wide a variety of people (including women of course) as possible passing through your life. In short, make yourself as ready as you can.
Then hope that the lightning strikes.
Physical Fittness: I’m in good shape, I exercise daily. No dice. I do not go to a gym, I have considered it, however. That may be a good place as any to find a potental mate.
Volunteer: Tried it. I guess I could try again. I did volunteer at a place that I had an interest in otherwise. I didn’t just do it to meet chicks, and that was well - for I met none. I had a great experience otherwise and the only reason I quit was because my real-life schedule changed to make it impossible to continue.
Work: I’m a professional. I’d consider it under the right circumstances.
Bars: I recently had an unfullfilling one night stand. Don’t want to do that again.
Coffee shops, Supermarkets, Library, etc.: Maybe it’s where I live, but typically these aren’t good places to meet anyone. Not that it keeps me from trying.
Online: I’ve dated women posting online. Currently I would rather not post online as the community I live in is fairly small, and people know me around these parts. I’ve seen the online personal adds of people I know, the laughter quotent is high (cringe). It works for many people, and I am probably loosing out, but I am stubborn.
My advice, it’ll happen. Or not. Either way - be bold!
I have nothing to add really, exept an anecdote. A local newspaper round here once posted an article (slow news week) that was basically a report of a rather goofy experiment by two reporterts with too much time one their hands. One of them brought a little puppy to the park, and walked around trying to teach it to behave while wearing a leash (it was tiny, cute little chocolate labrador). His collegue walked about nearby, occasionally snapping pictures. The real point, of course, was to see if you really pick upp women this way.
After a few hours, he’d collected something like 10 phonenumbers.
The morale of the story? “He’s elleven weeks old” is an underrated pick-up line.