Oh, look at me, I’m Jarbaby! I don’t like the heat! I’m going to melt! Well, you know what, my dear, it’s the summer, it’s supposed to be hot. If you don’t like it, why don’t you move to freakin’ Antartica?
The blue whale is the largest living animal.
Go boink a porpoise, you third-rate Marine Biology School dropout. Obviously the blue whale is the largest living animal only because the ‘scientists’ who deem these things important haven’t gotten around to measuring that enormous, sputum-engorged fatty deposit resting atop your shoulders.
Yes, I figured you’d call that a thought. Considering what passes for your ‘thoughts’ here, you must be impressed by the ‘thoughts’ you leave in your porcelain diary after a nice breakfast of Colon-blo™. You must be terrified of losing your last few gobbets of grey matter during your morning constipational.
And now, goddammit, my mouse isn’t working!
Well, if you’d take the time to clean out all the dried up jizz you leave on it after surfing all your net porn, you wouldn’t be having that problem now, would you?
[sub]BTW, nice use of Colon-blow. One of the funnier SNL bits! :D[/sub]
Oh, sure, everthing is happy-go-lucky in BunnyLand. Smiles and glee at every turn. Lalala, I have no worries or concerns, life is grand and everyone loves me, tra-la-lala-la.
Well, maybe if you’d bother to look around, you myopic ankle-bitter, you’d see that some of us here have problems. Lookit’ jarbabyj, she can barely move all the pain her years of whoring have done to her back. Lookit’ Tygr, who can’t even afford vowels other than the cast-off “y.” Lookit’ Captain Amazing who got her name from being utterly stupified by everything she ever sees (“Look, I made a booger!” “Look, a blade of grass!”) Lookit’ me, who…well, actually, I’ve got it pretty good.
Anyway, must be nice to live in that insulated little bubble of yours, hope you never have to face reality.
I think a friend of the family is getting married this weekend.
A friend getting married, eh? Oh, goody. This’ll be that opportunity you’ve been looking for to introduce the family to that little cross-dressing habit of yours. Just remember, don’t wear white to the wedding - you don’t want to overshadow the bride. And really, sugar, the blue eyeshadow is just not you. It might work for Mimi on Drew Carey, but if I were you, I’d go with the green. Stop suppressing the real you. Fly, be free!
[sub]snicker. “ankle-biter”. That’s funny. I love this thread.[/sub]
I ate some cinnamon, candy-coated almonds for lunch.
Cinnamon, candy coated almonds for lunch??!!! What the fuck type of lunch is that? Were you raised by uncivilized cretins? Or are you just trying to starve yourself so you can get thin enough to attract some people of the oppisite sex?
I need a new pair of sandles
Sandals? Why the hell would you need sandals, you long haired, pot smokin’, folk singin’, Commie pinko hippie? Do you feel the need to stand out? Do you feel the need to wear your sandals in some sort of fashion statement? Just what the hell makes you so special?
And you paid how much for them? Holy shit! I remember buying a pair of flip flops at the local Woolworths for $0.99, and the sunzabitches lasted me all year? You mean to tell me they need “special carbonite fiber” in the damn soles? Jeezus!
Tripler
I think this is the first time I’ve used my “pre-sig” in an actually productive game. It’s about damn time.
It’s about damn time for a lotta things.
You thinking you’re clever ain’t one of them.
And what the fuck is WITH you and your “pre-sig” shite? Think you deserve congratulations 'cause every post ends with some on-topic bon mot you puckered up and squoze out your rhino-reamed ass?
“Pre-sig”? What, short for “Premature Exsigulation”? Y’know, I hear they got ointments that’ll help with that. Nevermind, I’m sure you’re already well aware of the available treatments for those sorta problems.
Ah, christ, the last thing I do is smack Trip into his proper place and now I gotta slog through rush-hour traffic.
Oh boo-fucking-hoo. No one forced you to live where you do and work where you do so don’t start whining about traffic, you cry baby.
The lunatics are running the insane asylum.
Why does everyone have to harp on the “lunatics”. It’s so typical of people to put down others because their ideas are different. Why not let the lunatics run the asylum, they’d do a damn sight better job than our so-called “leaders” today.
Don’t you even know the origin of the word “luna-tic”? It’s the moon, damn it. Whenever you throw around words callously like that, you’re being hurtful. Just because people aren’t what society likes to call normal, that doesn’t mean they’re infected by the moon. Jeez!
Wow, to come home from work and see such viciousness—ugh. Thank God, I’ve got the Washington Post crossword to cool down over.
So, let me get this straight, thinkshit:
Just because someone gets utterly stupefied by everything that person sees, AUTOMATICALLY THAT PERSON IS A WOMAN?
What the fucking fuck is this fucking fuck-for-brains fucking bullshit?
Captain Amazing is a man, you piece of aardvark dandruff. And what’s more, he’s more of a man than YOU’ll ever be.
Sexist people like you make me ashamed to be a doper, but at least I’ve got my sanity. And AIM.
quick hijack
**syphillitic gopher[\b]
This is my new favorite phrase. I feel an excellent drinking game could be created around this phrase in time for the chiDope fest.
And we now return to our regularly scheduled F.O.T.H thread
Goddammit PREVIEW woman PREVIEW!!!
(I’m FOTH at myself…kinda weird)
The Cowalunga, a fundraiser for the American Lung Association is this weekend. We get to bike 180 miles in a heat index of Hell
Yes, and certainly none of us could ever hope to bike 180 miles in extreme heat. Or maybe you’re the one in extreme heat, you tacky ho. I bet you just can’t wait to spread your legs for those hunky, sweat-smelling Lance Armstrong wannabes, can you?
News flash: remove the seat from your bike, and you’ll get the same effect.
Wow, it’s a good thing you’ve got the mighty Instant Message, you wouldn’t want anyone to miss your foam-mouthed ravings. Yeah, so I messed up and miss-typed someone’s gender, BFD. Why don’t you just take another picture of your scrawny little chest? Tell you what, sport- soon as you grow some chest hair, you can make comments about masculinity, 'til then, pipe the fuck down. Oh, wait, you’ve got AIM! Surely no one will ever be at a lack for your cutting edge wit and blinding insight. Pray, dear sir, I’m keen for more of your fine observation. Don’t keep me in suspense, I can hardly wait.
I think it’s time to go to sleep.
[hijack]
Good for you Miss Creant!
Be sure to drink lots and lots of water! I almost killed myself on the MS-150 (it’s about 180 miles too and it was HOT-Texas hot!) Be sure to drink more than you think you need and if you start feeling “out of it” or see little spots, STOP! 
[/hijack]
Poor Dinks-Ho what’s wrong? You didn’t get enough sleep during your dead end job in the cube farms? Maybe if you broke from your rigorous masterbation schedule and actually went outside for some other reason than to pick up the monthly Sears lingerie catalog, you might not be so tired all the time.
I’m learning to play golf.
So What? should I fucking call you tiger woods? The last thing we need is one more yuppie pga groupie following real golfers around. I’ll bet they can get one in your hole. please, leave the golf to someone who has enough strength to actually pick up a golf club.
I just had chinese for lunch
Golf? Golf? What the hell are you? A doctor who makes way too much money to work a full day? Jeez. There’s a reason people hate golfers, you know. The nasty clothes, the weird tans, the fact that they walk around carrying big metal implements wherever they go. It’s just creepy, man. Mark Twain himself said that ‘Golf is a good way to spoil a nice walk’. Who the hell are YOU to argue with a literary genius such as Mark Twain? For shame.
I am very pale today.
learning to play golf how fucking stupid can you be? All you have to do is hit the ball towards the hole and keep doing it until it goes in. I’m sure you need lessons in putting things in holes.
I like cookies and milk.
Well, if you’d get out of the house every once in a while instead of surfing for plushy porn, you’d probably get some sun. You know, not everyone has your fetish of pasty computer geeks dorking a Teddy Ruxpin, so you can just stop sending all that email about your date with Raggendy Andy.
I bought a new pair of running shorts today.