I’ve always had a thing for dark skin, the darker the better. For a few years I went through a phase of dating black women exclusively, and I was absolutely certain I’d eventually end up with one.
Then one day I met a very pale white girl and something hit me right in the gut. 18 years later we’re still together. 
Had you asked me to describe my ideal woman when I was 25, I would have said tall, dark hair, brown eyes, considerably-darker-than-me complexion, long legs, small-ish breasts, small butt. That year, I first laid eyes on the woman who is now my wife. Short side of average, brownish-blonde hair, piercing blue eyes, slightly less pale than me, short-ish legs, large breasts, and a shapely behind (classic hourglass figure). It was, for some reason, the eyes that first caught my attention. Then I discovered what an incredibly intelligent, fun, funny, overall awesome human being she was, and I was finished.
To be fair, I was never very emphatic about pursuing only my “type,” but it was definitely what I was on the lookout for. The older I get, though, the less and less I have anything resembling a “type” physically. If something tragic were to happen and I found myself single again, as long as a woman wasn’t actually repulsive to me, she’d be a potential partner. I would be way, way more interested in intelligence, sense of humor, kindness, and things like that.
Methinks I don’t fit this mold. I don’t have a physical type that I’m drawn to. Ex Wife was 4 foot 11 inches, mousy brown hair, blue eyes. My Dearly Beloved™ looks absolutely nothing like my ex. Similarly, I’m not sure I can connect the dots on any two other women who have been in my life.
So I definitely get what you’re saying here. I don’t know if I have a “physical type” but I certainly found people with blonde hair, who were somewhat fit (but more on the thin side), who were short (4’‘s shorter than me and I am 6’1’’) and had either green or brown eyes were probably people I would instantly find attractive. But I have had relationships where I was in love and deeply attracted to at least 2 people who did not fit my “type”.
Usually I think I like their personality is what won me over emotionally, then eventually my eyes started seeing them as beautiful even though I might not have if I didn’t know them. And since then it just kinda stuck, so I am more open about who I like and why than I was when I first started dating at age 14 (I am 18 now).
IMO you two seem to be apart of a viscious cycle. You are on a leash, handled by her, and she is on a leash, handled by her married High school boyfriend/whateveryouwanttocallhim. You need to move on, it will be hard but all things worth doing are. You can’t waste your time playing games or falling over someone who doesn’t like you the same way. I had a similar story to yours, I liked this person, but they never seemed to share the same feelings. I eventually fell for them and still no real change on their side, for over FOUR years, I was interested in this person (to be honest, I kinda still attribute my lack of interest in dating right now to a slight hope that things might change.) I even told them how I felt a few months ago and they said they were attracted to me but “They didn’t want to change our relationship.” ~ Q the friendzone.
Well anyway, I told them I would not date another person for a little while, just in case they changed their mind. But before that all kinds of drama (not unlike yours) happened and I even stopped talking to them for like 2 weeks. They had become a close friend of mine before I told them how I felt about them, and it kind of ruined things. We never became intimate like you and your girl, but we were close and highly flirtatious. At any rate, the point I am trying to make is simple. There is a chance that you might have someone out there who is perfect or near perfect for you. There is a chance that there is more than ONE person who could be your Cinderella.
But you’ll never find her if you keep sticking with the “My best friend with benefits” girl, those relationships don’t seem to be what you are into. So don’t settle for them. Your emotions are real, your feelings are and were real. (If you still feel them 2 years later which is probably unlikely, so I am writing this advice for anyone else who reads this in about 2 or so years.)
A real relationship, one that works for you, is the thing you should give up everything for. You should never settle for second best, especially not in the relationship department, because love is not something that any one person is better at than another person, the reason why is because each and every person out of the 7 billion+ people on Earth, experience love in a profoundly different way. And that is why I believe you should always look for the “right woman/man” and when you find them, don’t stop until you are sure they are either right or wrong. And if they are right, then it will work out. If they are wrong, just get back on the horse and try again with someone new. But never give up. 
I’ve had many boyfriends and more serious relationships over the decades. But my current partner of 27 years is the ONLY one who is exactly my type. The others have been, to various degrees, far from my ideal, but I saw other traits and characteristics that turned me on.
I don’t have a type, so I can’t help.
Are there really people who only date one kind of person? How dull.
Without reading the gigantic thread:
My girlfriend right now, whom I love more than anyone else and will eventually marry, is NOTHING like my normal type.
I am a tall, skinny/fit, dark haired girl next door kinda guy.
She’s a shorter, more average weight, girl next door kinda girl.
It’s all about personality =)
A Zombie twice resurrected. Cool thread.
My type is female, breathing and not obese. Once those 3 points are nailed everything gets thrown into the positives vs negatives pot including hair colour, height and race. If I can’t find her physically attractive it’s not going to work, but there’s plenty of scope there to play with.
zombie or no
it is emotion and character you can live with.
it’s close to Halloween, stock up on costumes and masks.
A ‘type’ is something that is more based in the subconscious, like forgotten memories. Maybe when you were 10 someone who you liked moved away and the rest of your life you might find someone with the same height or hair attractive. You might gravitate towards them at parties, you might be more inclined to think about them before you go to sleep.
Experience will teach you that it is what is behind that pair of eyes, what is underneath that head of hair, and what kind of heart beats inside that chest that matters. Appearances can be filters, because the same people who might put their hands on their hips and scowl on street corners would probably get along great if they ever invested 15 minutes of conversation.
That said, Love itself is a recurring virus for which there is no cure.
Sudden outbreaks are horrible as the virus attacks the victim’s very ability to see and address the problems and the damage that is being inflicted.
While there are some ways to manage outbreaks after they happen, the virus itself is forever. The only relief for its victims is that the virus may lie dormant for years.