Us men just don’t care that much about this notion of type. I have a mental picture of the most attractive woman I can imagine looks like, but if I see a very attractive woman who looks very different, I’d never think twice about it.
I’ve actually read something that fits my own personal experience: that attraction for women is more dynamic than for men. I’ve known quite a few women who tell me they weren’t initially attracted to their husband, to the point where they refused to go out with them at all. With the men, however, it seems far more often that they were enamored with them the first time they saw them. So what I’m saying is that once a man determines whether you are attractive or not, it seems he’s much less likely to change his mind.
Another thing I’ve read is that a guy tends to be attacted to you, and then falls in love, while women seem to fall in love and then find you attractive. Now this I’ve seen a lot more exceptions to, but mostly on the female side. I’m sure there are men who fell in love first, or who changed their mind about how attractive a woman was, but it seems somewhat rare*.
Oh, and for the record, I don’t believe I’ve ever fallen in love. I’ve merely been infatuated. And while I’ve had my affection grow for women I don’t really find attractive, it’s never crossed into us being any more than really, really close friends.
ETA: And what ultrafilter said. When I was thinking about type, I, like Lunchy appeared to, just consider women I’m attracted to. In other words, I only thought of three types: women I’m attracted to, women I’m not, and those rare ones that are hard to place.
Yes and no. I won’t presume to speak for all men and I generally agree with ultrafilter here, up until the point one of ‘my type’ walks in the room. Maybe I’m more easily swayed than most; I tend to give that girl a lot of credit than she really deserves and everyone in the room disappears when she is around.
I do believe the OP says, “…and that’s the only type of person they notice or date. Then they fall in love with the opposite…”
Noticing or dating someone is vastly different to falling in love in my books.
See, this is what women were trying to get at in that old thread where a male OP declared that women only thought unattractive guys were creepy - how attractive a guy is perceived to be can be partly determined by personality too, so a creepy guy is going to be seen as less attractive even if he’s physically stunning. And as BigT says in support of most of these responses, the opposite is true too. But both of these things aren’t universal (and hopefully we meet far more of the latter than the former).
Yep, and I married her.
We talked about it for a long time too, before deciding to marry. I told her straight out she’s not my type, and I wanted her to realize that by marrying me, she risks a marriage without passion.
Long story short, she educated me about non-American expectations about marriage, and we married. We’ve been together for 10 years now.
Superhal, and passion…?
I really need some advice or maybe a similar story or just an ear. I met this girl over a year ago in college. We had the same math class together and we began studying together. Months gone by and we became really good friends. Never more than that and we both said that we were not looking for anything. She was living with her ex boyfriend of 12 yrs and had to daughters with the same guy. She was not happy with him and said that they lived together but not sleeping in same bed and that she was seeing this other guy that she had went to high school with at the time. The thing is , that guy was married. We had talked about it before and I told her that he would never leave his wife for her. She continued on with him. It never bothered me because I had no interest in her like that . I knew so much of her and how she treated guys and she told me that she would be trouble if we ever hooked up. One night she called me and was all upset and said that she needed a place to stay because she didnt want to go home. I told her to come over and she said that she didnt want me to ask questions and that she just needed me to be there for her and wanted me to hold her until she fell asleep. That is what i did. There was a few other times like that where she called on me and I was always there for her like a good friend would be. I even needed her a couple times and she allowed me to stay at her house. Never crossing that line. Well one time , it happened and we were intimate. I thought for sure that would end things but it didnt. We stayed good friends and in fact it happened a couple more times. Then it happened . I began to grow feelings for my best friend. It was eating away at me. I had to tell her. I didnt know how to. I kept hinting at the fact that i had fallen in love with her but she just wasnt getting it or just wasnt leading on that she knew. Finally one day, she asked me why i was being short with her and why i was avoiding her. I told her that i was in love with her. We had this long discussion and she told me that she didnt feel the same for me . That really killed me . She said that she didnt want our friendship to change and that she understands how i feel etc. It has been tough ever since. For this past month it has been nothing but upsets for me . I thought that i could handle things and remain the same . A few weeks ago, I was over her house and we started kissing and she stopped me and told me that she did not want to confuse me . I told her that it was fine. So we slept together. That next morning, I was so confused and we talked. She just said that she wasnt ready for a relationship and that she wants me to be happy and not wait for her because she isnt right in the head . Well just two nights ago , I was over her house and again it happened. I began kissing her on the couch and she stopped me and asked , what we were doing ? she continued to say that we are friends and that we shouldnt do this anymore etc. I asked her why she had this wall up and why she didnt feel for me. She told me that she was still seeing that married guy and that her heart belongs with him. My heart dropped to the ground. She seen how sad i was , hearing that and even asked me if that made me sad. She said the way i felt for her is the way she feels for that guy. I could not believe it. I told her that I wanted to go home . I started to go and she grabbed my arm and didnt want me to go home. She said that she wanted to sleep with me. We went to the bedroom and started to become intimate but all i could think of was what she just had told me. It really hurt me . It was a good night intimate wise but the drive home was a long one. I got home at 4 am and did not sleep the whole morning. I waited till 10 am and i called her. I had to know what it was that i did or didnt have for her that she wanted from that married guy. here i was. Never married, no kids , going to school , her daughters get along with me etc… She tells me again that she isnt ready for a relationship. I told her that I didnt want that right now . That what i wanted was just a little bit of hope that there was a possibility that it might happen later. She just said that she was sorry . That she was interested in this guy. Then I asked her, are you not attracted to me ? She told me NO… I just dont understand that . How is it that she would be intimate with me if there was no attraction? I personally could not be intimate with a girl that I have no attraction for… I mean maybe once but not 3 or 4 times. I am not understanding this. She says that I am not her “type”. I asked her, what her type was. She is 35 and her ex is 47 yrs old. She said that she ends up with these big white guys with blue eyes… Her ex was this big burly , hairy guy with blue eyes. I am sure he was a nice guy but he wasnt what i thought was her type. She tells me that i am cute but she isnt attracted to me. Is that a nice way to say that i am ugly or somethng??? It really confuses me that she would be intimate with me and we are very passionate but yet she says im not her type. Is it because she doesnt want a relationship with me but enjoys being intimate with me. Or maybe she isnt too sure that this MARRIED guy will ever leave his wife so she wants to keep me on a short leash , tell me that im not her type so that i dont become attached to her. I dont know . I just know that i told her that I need to not see her for a while and she didnt like that . She asked me if i still wanted to be her friend and I told her that I didnt want that to change and that I told her in the past that I would be her friend forever and i didnt want this to change things. I just need time right now and then maybe we can become friends again. But I find myself missing her so much these past couple days and want to pick up phone and call her but I know its best to let things cool off a bit. I just dont know what to do afterwards. Do I continue to become intimate or just leave that off as well. I love her so much and it hurts that she says that she just sees me as her best friend and nothing more. Any suggestions please. I am so lost here . Please, maybe some advice from girls please. Maybe to what she is possibly thinking and is there a chance that she misses me or will miss me enough to change things? she had told me that she was going to give me time but that she would text me everyday to bug me so that I dont let her go. I know that they say let them go and if they come back , its meant to be. But the prob is that if she comes back, how am I supposed to if its because she misses me as a friend or that she wants to grow on what I had told her. Is it possible that just because she says im not her type , that she could possibly fall for me sometime … I know that with this other guy around, she prob isnt even thinking of me like that . Can she be intimate with me and not have feelings at all??? Please help :rolleyes:
I’ve never had a ‘type’ so to me it’s totally weird that anyone does. When it comes to pure animal lust I think Slash is the sexiest man alive. I also think Ben Stein is incredibly sexy. You can see the range of what I can find attractive.
The again I think Bill Clinton, Donald Trump, George Clooney and Travis Stork are the ugliest men alive.
Wiry or skinny guys always turn my head, but I’ve mostly had relationships with other types. It’s just not that important.
Yeah, gotta echo this. There are men…LOTS of them!..who just really do love women, and when it gets to one-on-one it’s ALL sexy in the bedroom no matter who it’s with. (Luckily I married one of those 
) But I’ve heard, my whole life, with no reason to think otherwise, that men are just stimulated visually a lot more easily and deeply than women are, so there ya go.
If I have a ‘type’, it’s probably short-average height, dark hair that’s a LITTLE long, skinny-average weight, glasses a plus. 
MrTao has…dark hair. And when he wears his glasses I make it clear that I really, really like them, rawr!
But I’ve dated from shorter than me to 6’8", from weighing less than me to 3 times my weight. So clearly, my physical type has never been the most important hook.
Oh kentucky-fried-christ, fell for another one-post troll zombie, ugh. (Make that 12-post troll zombie; maybe the reddit troll is looking for new territory?)
See, kids, this is what you get for not reading the whole thread first!
Stop being the girl
As to the OP, I find attractive comes in many forms, all subjective for me. They can be strikingly different things that attract my eye.
I like short girls, but I like tall girls too. Blond hair is nice but so is brunette or even red heads.
Green eyes have always held a strange fascination for me but I’m married to a brown eyed girl (que song)
I guess, for me, there is no specific type.
Sounds like a good poll question-give me a few minutes…
Considering that my ‘type’ is in practice breathing, I shudder at the thought of the alternatives.
I require female in addition to that. But that’s about it. I can’t imagine what it’s like to have these predetermined requirements for a mate. But I suppose those who do can’t imagine how I don’t.
I’m attracted to giant walls of poorly-written text, personally. Rowr.
NM
You’ll never get a second look from **Smeghead **like that, Kevbo.