“I went to a Presidential Dinner, and ask how much a plate?”
“$500”
“Oh…I’ll just have a cup of coffee.”
“$40.”
“Then give me a glass of water.”
“$5”
“How much is it to BREATHE?”
Once I looked out my window and I saw a bird wearing sneakers. He had a little button on that said “I ain’t flying NOWHERE!” So I called out, “Hey, buddy, what’s your problem?” He says, “I’m sick of this! Every year, it’s winter here, summer there, winter here, summer there! I don’t know who thought this up, but it certainly wasn’t a bird.” So I say, "Well, I was just making breakfast; come on in. Do you want some eggs?
“Sorry…”
You did’t make that up. That’s from “The Abbott and Costello Show.”