…where I lovingly caressed the Big Red Button until I came to my senses, and ran away with hot tears of shame running down my cheeks.
In the desert where I found myself bereft of companionship, not to mention food or water, I…
pondered the futility of life without purpose.
As I brought the axe down again and again, fear giving way to hate and then finally to…
a realization that I now had plenty of firewood for the cold, cold winter that my friend the invisible stoat told me we should expect.
Invisible stoats aren’t always the best meteorologists, but _____________
To be safe I believed. Really. I promise.
At the risk of sounding disingenuous, I further added_____.
2 and 2, and got 547.
However, when dividing, I always _______
… have to put myself in the mindset of a single-celled organism at reproduction time.
It’s a little uncomfortable, but the good news is …
…I save a lot of money on condoms.
I use the extra cash…
For other lewd and lascivious fun things.
It get me in trouble everytime I_______.
listen to Beckdawrek.
The voices in my head say I should listen…
to the silence where the invisible stoats roam.
Since I left the ham and pineplle behind…
…I knew there were no suitable ingredients for a pizza to be had.
If only I had some nice cooked rabbit to put on this pizza, then…
…I could feed it to unsuspecting guests.
I never knew why I could never…
find any unsuspecting guests, though; all of mine were 'way too suspecting.
The police generally frown at kidnapping people for your dinner parties; I should know, because ______________________
I was once a victim of circumstance.
In that case, we should_______.
…relax and watch what happens.
On, it’s just one more …
two-letter word I’ve sworn never to use except in Urdu. Or Sanskrit, if you ask me nicely.
As I painting toy stoats with Billy Idol last week, he said (in Urdu, oddly enough), _________________________
Don’t take it so seriously.
As I tend to be uptight, I have never_________.
…jammed a red hot poker up my ass.
Life in the fast lane…
is very challenging when bowling, it surely makes you lose your mind.
Once I got a turkey…
That gobbled up my score.
So, I quit bowling and started_______.